It's been awhile...

Oh my... It's been a hot minute, hasn't it?

Actually, it's almost been a full year since I posted on here...

Times have surely changed. Back in 2013, I started this blog as a way to normalize my stifled feelings of being a respectful parent, in a world where no one else thought the same as me.

My small town felt suffocating, as I knew I had to do it all differently than what I was seeing around me.

So, this site was created to flush out thoughts and share my perspective - maybe in hindsight, it was also a way to validate my style when everyone else thought I was crazy...

Then, as my children grew (and technology grew), I focused more on my Instagram... And, that is where all my attention lies currently. -And this site quickly fell to the wayside.

My Instagram boasts a following of almost 15k and my posts are shared far and wide... I have immense interactions in my DMs and I have met some pretty awesome people over there, whom I call friends.

But, I must say, I do miss this old fashioned dynamic - The simple world of story telling. And, the ability to write more than a limited caption allows... I do miss this website... And, I'm thinking about bringing it back - like, crop tops and leggings!

But, how?

Instagram allows me to post my creative words and then people share and comment. I'm able to quickly interact with a community within seconds. Whereas, on websites, it feels so distant.

And, do people really read things anymore?

Is that still a thing?

Because, I do miss storytelling... 

My Instagram is focused more on education. I'd like this site to be the behind the scenes of my educational posts. This place will be the words that fill in the blanks of those short memes I post... The hows, the whys, and the lifestyle of raising an almost 13 year old daughter and an almost 11 year old son.

So, gather round folks! While I attempt to bring back a blog, in a world of REELS and 60 second videos (which I'm horrible at - I'm so much better with writing, than videos).

Boy, this will be an uphill battle! 

Stay tuned! 

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My Instagram is filled with a plethora of posts and educational captions. You can check out my Instagram and follow me there by clicking here

Childism is alive and well...

Childism is alive and well. It exist because, people have allowed it to exist. Children don't have a single ounce of control or right to their own life, but are suddenly expected to "be adults" when they're 18 years old.

Even though I shouldn't be, I'm always shocked at what parents robotically do to their children, just because it's an accepted societal practice... There are parents who don't agree with certain things, but do it anyways because, someone of authority-like said so... I think back to the time I was so vocal about the wrongdoings of my daughter's Intermediate school and the parents just said things like, "well, the school knows best." Or, "kids need harsh discipline."

But, what really boils my blood is this trend that seems to occur in my region (I'm not sure if this exist everywhere)... Dentists who won't allow a parent back with their child - even if that child is 2 years old.

Personally, I wish every family would get up and walk out of every dentist, who doesn't allow a parent back with their child.

The reason this exists is, because it's allowed...

You'd never let your 5 year old go back to a doctor's appointment all alone without you there - and a dentist is so much more frightening to children.
Hell, a child isn't even allowed to be legally questioned without an adult present.

I stand by two schools of thought... There are two reasons an adult wants to be alone with a child and not have the parent there - 1, They are being aggressive towards that child and they don't want the parent to see. Or, 2, they're being nefarious... Otherwise, it wouldn't matter.

It blows my mind the level of conditioning that occurs to separate children from their families. We're conditioned to believe that it's normal to hand over our 6 week old baby to daycare staff. And, we are conditioned to believe that putting our children in an institution with full control over your child and YOU for 13 years, is a rite of passage and something that will make them succeed.

Children are ours to protect and keep safe... But somehow, they are the lowest rung of society. They put all their blind trust and love into adults. And yet, adults keep failing them.

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Follow me on my Instagram @the_happy_days

The fleeting days of childhood...

The one thing every parent has in common is, they feel like there is never enough time...

Time seems to pass at an alarming rate when we have children. But, there is also a chaotic mixture of watching the clock tick by and wondering where the day went.

Parents are caught between work, errands, piles of never ending laundry, dishes, and every other facet of adulting, while trying to find time for their children.

Balance is hard.

Some either lean to one side or the other. But, very few parents have figured out the perfect mixture.

So, I'm here to remind you to put down the laundry and stuff it into the nearest closet. Use it as a dresser for the next few days and pull clean clothes out of it. Or shove it hastily into drawers - I don't care what you do with it. But, put down whatever you're doing and go make some connections with your children.

Go build blocks on the floor with them. Run through the rain. Swing on some swings. Have a dance party. Or, jump on a scooter and have some races - like I am doing in this photo.

Be a kid, with your kids!

Whatever it is, take the time to get onto your child's level and be present in the moment with them. Even if it's just for a little bit - quality is so much better than quantity.

It's true that they'll never remember how clean the house was or how perfectly folded the clothes are. But, they will remember the day you raced them on a too-small-for-you-scooter and lost, by a lot... They'll remember the moments they laughed so hard, they fell over... They'll remember the nights you let them stay up past their bedtime for a backyard fire... Or, the times you attempted a flip on the trampoline (and didn't succeed)...

That's what they'll remember from childhood.

There isn't a pause button that we can click, so we can finish that last dish in the sink - as your child is trying to tell you a story about their favorite character from Mickey Mouse... Instead, the endless mundane cycles of adulthood will always remain. But your child won't be this age forever...

Go enjoy it❤

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Make sure you're following me on my Instagram @the_happy_days

40 trips around the sun...

40 years old is one of those ages when a lot of self evaluation suddenly takes place... One minute, you're flying high on the coat-tails of your youth. And the next, your back hurts from sleeping weird.

I don't fear aging... I'm not one of those girls who begins to stare in the mirror and analyzes her sudden aging flaws... In my family, there has been so many deaths, at such young ages. I honestly view 40 years old as a magnificent milestone. Being 40 feels like an achievement that I worked very hard for. So, I am grateful for the chance to celebrate being this age.

Throughout my years, I've had the opportunity (and thankfully, the awareness) to grow. I feel, with each passing year, I become a better version of myself - and my competitive nature never lets me feel satisfied with my status, which leaves me always wanting to improve. 

My journey of growth began when I first became a mother... I know I know, it's a cliche, but my children truly shaped me into who I am today... But, like a lot of mothers, I could never find the proper balance in my life. I had immense difficulty juggling being a mother and a person - Honestly, I still don't have it figured out yet. But, as my children age, their maturity is forcing me to figure it out. They are growing into their own person and biologically pulling away from "mom" -which is completely normal. However, this is leaving me left alone with a person who is unrecognizable...

My 20s were about self discovery of who I was away from my parents. Those were the years of selfishness and trial and errors... My 30s were my self discovery of who I was as a new mother. These were also years of trial and error, but also, loss of an identity... And, I believe my 40s will be a self discovery journey of who I am as a mother and a new person. 

I will navigate these years, trying to figure out how to proceed as my children grow a life of their own. I have to begin to discover who I am outside of "mom"... What are my likes? My interests? It sounds funny, but a decade is a long time to enter into limbo.

What I do know is, I am going into my 40s as a strict vegan, gluten-free, and soy-free human. My hair is almost completely grown out gray. I have a newly diagnosed health condition (POTS/neurocardiogenic syncope) and lasting COVID symptoms -including my hair falling out... I lost 40 lbs and besides my erratic heart, I feel the best I have in my life... My children are 11 and 9 years old and I've been with my husband for 19 years... I have done respectful/attachment parenting from day one and my relationship with my children has been so rewarding. 

Oh, and I made it in my college's Hall Of Fame for field hockey this past year...

I feel like the 40s are the new 20s. This is that second round of being care-free and living life for yourself. Our children are older now and we're all much wiser. 

I feel excitement entering into this age bracket -like I should be sitting around a table with a group of my friends and toasting to new beginnings, or something like that... I really feel these are my years to shine - Sure, I'll never taste gluten again or have a pop tart... But honestly, I'm ready for it all...

Because, my life is about to change drastically this decade - just as it did for my 30s. And hopefully at the end of it, I would have figured out the balancing act so much better than I did in my 30s...

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I am always posting daily stories and writings in my feed over on Instagram... I would love to write in this space consistently, but I can't promise that lol. Although, I can promise continuous content on my Instagram. So go follow me there by clicking this link --> The_Happy_Days

Taking control of my health...

In less than a year, I'll be 40 years old... That number freaks me out so much, it's actually suffocating... And, it's not for a surface reason, like, I'm just getting older - Instead, my younger years are now behind me and I'm on the downslope to life. And, let's face it, I'm a child of the 1980s and that means, I haven't taken care of myself... At all.

My childhood and teens consisted of drinking Shasta soda out of a can, as young as 2 years old. Consuming poptarts, pizza rolls, and frozen TV dinners. And, eating Taco Bell and Dominoes Pizza after midnight... My diet was either processed foods, genetically modified, and had so many dyes in them, that Crayola would be jealous.

And, sometimes I wouldn't eat a fruit or vegetable for 6 months...

Oh, and we microwaved everything...

I used aluminum deodorants, sulfates and parabens in my shampoos, and lathering myself with liquid soap that only a chemist could decipher the ingredients - but gosh, it smelled so pretty!

I have all my vaccines, took antibiotics every time I had a sniffle, and popped ibuprofen consistently for 4 years during field hockey, due to my stress fractures and shin splints...

We grew up in a time where food was instant and hygiene and self care products were more about flare, rather than health.

I mean, cereal was thought to be a health food...

As I aged, I realized so much of what I was putting in my body and on my body was contributing to my declining health...

After doctor appointments and testing, I am rolling in the rest of this year, and eternity, with a new lifestyle...

2021 will signify growth and new beginnings, as it has for so many others...

My last hair dye was right before Christmas 2020. And, I recently have been gluten-free (1 month) and vegetarian (3 months). And, I'm trying so hard to be dairy free - But, this one seems to be my Everest... I no longer eat processed, prepackaged foods, or anything with dyes in it.

I've also made changes along the way, like, I haven't used a microwave and stopped using non stick pans about 11 years ago. I haven't used foil or plastic in about 5 years. And, hygiene and self care products were already switched to organic or homemade items. And, I've never worn make up, so that was simple👍

My children have eaten this way and lived this way since birth - It was just really hard for me to convert - I mean, poptarts are the greatest tasting thing ever! But, I couldn't continue down that road, living the Western lifestyle, as long as I have...

40 is going to be a celebration, not a fearful time that my life is deteriorating. By that time, hopefully all my ailments will be non-existent and the thought of reaching 95 years old, will feel obtainable...

Because, we know so much more now, than we ever did years prior. We know that the Western lifestyle is the unhealthiest. We know that America has the lowest standards when it comes to our food supply. We know that our mindset is to take medications for ailments, so we can continue living the same lifestyle, without ever changing anything.

We've become so accustomed to this... But, food should be nurturing, not causing distress.

We shouldn't be feeling so sick, achy, bloated, uncomfortable, etc, all the time.

We should be thriving...

And, that's how I'm going to live the next half of my life ❤

How many of you fit into this category?

**Disclaimer: This post is about my experience... The information provided, is what my doctor recommended for me to do. This post is not intended to treat, diagnosis, or offer advice with what you should be doing with your life. This is only written from my viewpoint, about myself.**

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Follow me on Instagram @the_happy_days for daily posts and videos in my stories.

How did this become mom shaming?

Since when did voicing a different parental opinion become mom shaming?

How did this begin?

And, the crazy part is, it's only mom shaming when you disagree with the norm...

In a mom group, a mom asked about letting her baby cry it out - she wanted advice... Of course, she was met with a lot of people giving her options and pointers... Because, let's face it, crying it out is the standard norm for parenting... So, at no point would anyone think that by saying you agree with crying it out, that would be mom shaming towards someone who didn't agree with it...

But alas, there were moms who wrote their distaste for crying it out... They wrote why they felt it was harmful and why they were against it...

Well, would you guess the moderators turned off the comments for that post. And, a separate post was written about how disappointed they were in the group because of the judgemental mom shaming... Like we were being scolded at - like children.

But, why were only the ones who didn't agree with crying it out get called the mom shamers? Why were they the only ones listed as being judgemental? Why not the ones who voiced their strong opinions on why they liked it? Why weren't they considered judgemental towards the ones who disagreed?

I'll tell you why...

Because, any type of peaceful/respectful parenting is too progressive and makes people uncomfortable. Then, mob mentality takes over and people join in with the norm... And, if more percentage of people believe one thing, then that's the gold standard and anything else is wrong.

How about this... I always get mom shamed for my parenting, but I'm not allowed to say it... Before I weeded out my personal page, I used to get shamed for posting our adventures and simple fun we would have... I was told that I spend too much time with my kids. Or, I should figure out a better balance between my life and my kids. That I was weird. I needed to find a hobby... etc... I was even told that my posts and blog writings made a mom feel like she was a bad parent and I should stop posting so much.

If I ever mentioned that was considered shaming, I'd be told to get over myself - It's not the same thing.

How is that ok?

Well, society deemed it ok because as parents, we're all supposed to be a hot mess and drink our wine and pray for bedtime and then go on social media and talk negatively about our children... And, if you don't fit into that box, then you're shaming the ones who do.

But, if you have your life together and enjoy your children, you're shaming the ones who don't have their life together.

And, posting all these positive things, are making other people feel bad, so you should stop.

However, at no point, are we allowed to say that we're being shamed by them...

Do you understand any of this?
No, you don't?🤔

It's because there is no logic and it's annoying and ignorant and should be stopped...

Parent however you want. But understand that there are right and wrong things. Understand that there are things better for children, than not. Understand that science actually supports that crying it out is harmful - however, society does it because, life is so demanding that parents feel they have to do it.

Do whatever you want... But don't call it shaming because, you didn't hear what you wanted hear.

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Follow me on Instagram @ the_happy_days for daily posts and storytelling...

Being fearless and driven go a long way...

This girl is fearless and driven... Traits I never even dreamed of having at only 10 years old... She knows exactly what she wants and how to get there. And, the kicker is, she has a back up plan if none of it manifests... What 10 year old has a career back up plan?

She's an old soul - she's not 10 going on 16. Instead, she's 10 going on 30. She just looks at the world differently, than most children her age... I think that's why she had difficulty in school with kids her age - she can't relate to them - Instead, she'd rather be in a room full of adults, than 10/11 year olds any day.

Since she was little, she has always said she wanted to be a singer (Seeing that she was already speaking sentences by her first birthday - she already memorized and knew the melody of every nursery rhyme song and cartoon musical intro by 18 months old). When she would tell me this, I'd shrug it off and say, "that's awesome girlie." And move on, never thinking much of it... I mean, every kid says they want to be a singer, a princess, an astronaut, etc. But eventually, it fades.

For her, it just dug deeper.

She felt the music within her soul. And, it was calling out to her...

She answered it by entering into competitions at only 6 years old - and winning. She answered it by enrolling in theatre - where she also found a love for acting, too. And, she answered it by auditioning for a professional vocal coach to increase her likelihood of success...

Every stage she steps on, is a step closer to the life she wants. Each performance is a learning experience and a chance for her to work out the kinks, before the bigger picture emerges... Sure, she loves winning trophies and medals, but one day, she hopes to sell out Madison Square Garden. And, these performances are the practice she needs to achieve her goal.

This weekend was the first time she performed in over a year. She was nervous, yet confident. And, when she stepped out onto that stage, you'd never know the nerves she felt in the wings...

She amazes me with her courage. And, I feel so lucky to watch her bloom.

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Follow me on my Instagram @the_happy_days