Mid Week Revelation: Eating cupcakes like it's the end of the world.

I've realized it doesn't seem as weird when you're shoving cupcakes in your mouth standing over the sink as a parent, than it would if you were by yourself... Motherhood, it's not for the weak.

Friendships are everlasting

My son’s first birthday has gracefully passed and his maturing continues to surpass my expectations. He is becoming a bright little boy with a curiosity that would rival George. But his days are spent following his sister’s every move, even more than her own shadow would.

It appears he doesn’t have much of an identity that would distinguish them apart. He squeals the same high pitch scream that his sister does and he giggles like a bashful girl. I would say he’s even more sensitive than my daughter.

His passion for books seems to be sparked by watching my daughter’s obsession. He not only shares her love of music but also dances to the Bubble Guppies like no other.

It’s at this point where I am trying to have him develop his own personality and his sister is now hitting a stage where she wants her own independence from him –which breaks his heart. However, I am taking this opportunity to focus on him and allow him to find what he enjoys –separately from her. So far, that is Thomas the Train and all Thomas the Train books.

Since then, I was able to see him flourish in an environment that worked for him. One of my best friends has a son who is 9 weeks younger than my son. Now that they are at an age where interaction is more meaningful, we decided to get them together for an actual play-date (not just a drive by).

Our sons immediately took to each other and it was nice to see that my son didn’t wait for his sister’s command of what to do.  He took charge of his own interest and played nonstop. My daughter was the big sister/friend who diligently played off to the side, while occasionally interacting with the boys. She would give either of them anything that they needed, while favoring my friend’s son a little more.

It was a nice day spent with a great friend. The best part was we were able to get a glimpse of a setting that was in our not so distant future. While sitting at the table on a Friday night, eating pizza and wings and watching our kids all around us, we found it ironic that these kids will probably be best friends. It will be a nice journey watching them all grow up together and my other friend’s children won’t seem so much older at that point (because right now, 1 year difference means a lot as toddlers or preschoolers).

 And that’s how it works, one minute we’re hovering over our children –watching their every move. The next, they’re eating their separate pizza and wings downstairs in the finished basement so the “parents” don’t cramp their style. I am incredibly lucky to have a great group of friends with great children for my two babies to grow up with. I know we all have the same morals, values, and traditions – and hopefully that will prevent them from getting into “too much” trouble when they’re older. The positive side is we all get to embark on this saddened journey of them getting older -together.

Mid Week Revelation: Chaos

I've realized when one child falls apart emotionally and chaos quickly ensues, the other child has to then join in as if they don't want to be left out of anything... Motherhood, it's not for the weak.

Pieces to the puzzle

My life as a stay at home mom has lots of perks. I have the greatest job that allows me to watch my children grow and develop on a daily basis. I get to live my children’s lives with them, not just be a part of it. I know things will always be pretty consistent –I will be the one they seek throughout the day for help, I’m the one they use for security, and I know every day I get to wake up to their precious, smiling faces. In turn, I also find that I dependent on that consistency. I know if I sit on the couch for a second, one of my two (or both) will crawl on top of me and hug me, while cuddling. They are “in tune” to me, as I am to them.

But once in a while, my parents take my daughter for the day –to just have “their time” (like old times). I often enjoy this because I’m able to focus just on my son and do fun activities together that usually cannot be completed with chaos that ensues on a normal day. Then when he naps, I’m able to clean undisturbed (you know, clean without a child pulling out the things you’re putting away), do laundry, and even sit down and participate in social media.

But when I do all these, something strange happens. My ears ring from the quiet. I walk through my house admiring all the things she loves –all little scattered pieces of her –they bring me close to her. I miss my daughter running in and out of every room that I’m in to ask 500 questions, I miss that curious mind of hers. I miss her high energy as she flies around the house, singing every song she knows by heart, while doing a silly dance. I miss her asking to help with anything and everything that I’m doing, just to be a part of it. I miss the excitement that fills her eyes when I read book after book after book to her.

It’s only a few hours that she is not with me, but I feel like a part of me is missing. I’m used to the consistent pattern of both my children by my side. She of course, is having a blast with my parents (as they worship the ground both of my children walk on) and doesn’t even want to talk to me on the phone when I call 30 times. In the background I hear her singing, or playing preschool, or playing some fun game that my parents just invented, then I’m able to remain content for a few more hours knowing how much fun she is having.

When my parents arrive, I’m already standing in the driveway, waiting to run over to cradle her out of the car seat. With a huge smile, she tells me all the things they did. She usually has a picture for me that she created all by herself. And once again, the buzzing chatter from her song bird voice fills our home and the whirl wind of her high energy completes the evening. I sit and bask in the excitement that she brings with her, while she tackles her brother from excessive hugs. I slowly feel the pieces of the puzzle fit nicely back together. In this moment, I am complete again. I am fulfilled in every aspect, because of their love.

Mid Week Revelation: Tiredness

I've realized when you are a parent, it brings tired to a whole different level... Motherhood, it's not for the weak.

Happy Birthday

As I tidy up the last few pieces of birthday party materials, I’m reflecting on how great the day unfolded. We were blessed to be in the presence of love, laughter, family and friendship. Conversations ensued, jokes were told and children played. All in all, my son’s first birthday party was a success.

I was a little nervous how my 3 year old daughter was going to handle all the attention being directed at her little brother –this is the first time the birthday wasn’t about her. However, she not only was great, she enveloped herself in the day. She was the helper of taking gifts to the correct location. She talked to everyone and made them feel at home, and played with her cousins and friends. She even sang happy Birthday to her brother and shared his first cupcake, right by his side.

My son appeared to search for her, to want her by his side. While family and friends oogled at him, she was within inches to kiss him and say, “that’s my best brother.” She is a very special girl with an ability to love like no other -While my son is the same. With his chocolate filled hand, he reached out to touch his sister’s face, as if he was thanking her for being part of his day. They have a connection I will never be a part of, which is the way I want it to be. That makes me an incredibly proud parent to know that.

Gift time arrived with open arms. I sat down on the floor with my son on my lap, while my daughter was gliding back and forth with a new present every couple seconds. She opened every gift, taking the time to show her brother and describe in great detail what the present was and what it did. She neatly took apart the paper and maturely put the smaller pieces to the side, out of reach. My son played with the paper and was fascinated by it, ripping it into smaller pieces. She would then slow down and push the paper over even further. He smiled of course, yes because of all the presents, but mainly because his sister was there.

As another birthday comes to an end, I can’t believe how wonderful life is at this moment -How blissful it is to watch my son gather all the attention from loved ones and soak it in. How proud I am of my daughter for her love and devotion to her brother. I have two gracious children with boisterous personalities, and charisma to back it up. These two have my heart forever and make me smile, even though another birthday is passing, with the time clicking away. Right now, in this moment, all I can do is love and cherish today, and today was great.

Mid Week Revelation: Time seems obsolete

I've realized as a parent, there are not enough hours in a day, it doesn't matter if you are a working mother, or a stay at home mother -Time seems obsolete... Motherhood, it's not for the weak.

Time is a real crazy thing

Time is a real crazy thing. On some days, I can almost hear the second hand ticking away, while other days, 5 hours pass at a blink of an eye. I find myself going through old photos of my children, begging to relieve some days, while grateful others have passed. I try to savior the current moments, but time is so fleeting, I get lost in the days. What I have learned so far is that having a second child will absolutely, heart wrenchingly, make the time go by even faster.

While looking at my 3 year old, I notice she is a little girl, not a goofy, uncoordinated toddler anymore. I look at her with pride, but sometimes sadness, as comparing her to my son raises the realization of how much she has grown. It all snuck up on me. Kindergarten is right around the corner and that will be the start of her life without mommy right by her side, holding her hand -Being right there to answer any and every question that her little curious mind could think of. It a life that seems so far away that it’s unattainable, however, it’ll be here before I realize. Soon, I’ll just be a weekly phone call (if even that much) while she’s off enjoying college life with new friends.

I swear it seems like yesterday I was thinking how am I going to survive this colic? How will I possibly get this child to sleep more than 2 hour intervals? Or how will I finally be able to eat a meal without her clingy so desperately to my side. All the baby stuff is over with her, the round the clock feedings, diaper changing, worrying about what she is thinking, or what she is trying to tell me. It’s all gone.

As the journey begins anew, I think about the person she is at this moment. She’s a feisty 3 year old who doesn’t think twice about what she says, and she’s opinionated. But, she loves whole heartily. She is incredibly thoughtful, giving, and completely protective over her little brother. She doesn’t feel the need to conform to rules or please everyone around her. She is more of a tom-boy than anything else -She likes the idea of princesses, but would rather use a tool bench. She is a gross motor skills kid, loves the outdoors, and would swing on a swing for hours.

 She no longer yearns for my cuddles, she enjoys them, but it isn’t the soul of her existences. I sometimes have to trick hugs out of her by asking her to come over to me real quick, that’s when I snag one. She picks out her own clothes, and will use her voice if she is completely uninterested in wearing an outfit I already prepared. She’s not a baby anymore. She wants to be independent and explore the world around her.

As I say goodbye to the baby stages of my daughter, I now have to face reality again that my current baby isn’t even a baby either. My son is going to be a year old in a few days, he is now a toddler. He already has a vocabulary and is communicating effectively in his own way. He understands what I want and I understand his needs. He is a few steps away from independently walking –taking away one of the last of his dependent needs. He now interacts with his sister like they’re the same age. They play together, read together, and cuddle together. They love each other more than I could ever have hoped.

As time continues to progress, I hope that my children always remember how loved they are -How lucky they are to have a family unit with people who love them and will do anything in the world for them. I hope they will always feel safe and secure, while knowing they always have a place back home. I hope my daughter will always be feisty, but soft hearted at the same time and I hope my son’s smile will always be contagious.

I find that each stage will constantly be a new step of letting go, it will always be hard to watch them grow up, but I consider myself incredibly lucky that I have the opportunity to embark on these journeys with the both of them. I am their mother and that is one thing that will never change as the time passes.

Mid Week Revelation: Spitting image

I've realized that my daughter is a spitting image of myself and my son is a spitting image of my husband -I've then realized that I sometimes enjoy my husband's qualities much more than my own... Motherhood, it's not for the weak.