Sunday, August 23, 2015

With change, brings new beginnings -Happy Birthday!


One moment in time, 5 years ago, two adults were carrying along with their life, anxiously awaiting the arrival of their newborn baby girl. The nursery was set, the clothes were washed, and their hospital bag was packed, while diapers and bottles were piling up in the background... 

The nervous jitters of the unknown begun to sink in as the due date fast approached.

Who would ever think that one little human could change the course of life. How someone so tiny could make someone fall to their knees...

Those unknowns became knowns as quickly as the air passes into our lungs. Life with my child was like the eternal missing puzzle piece. Once placed into my arms, I wondered how my arms felt before her and how did they tolerated the lifelessness, the lack of heaviness.

My daughter has incredibly and remarkably brought immense happiness into our lives, happiness that was unheard of before her. Without her, I wouldn't be the person I am today and without her, I wouldn't have ability to love another human like I do. So, this one tiny human has completely changed every part of my soul and left me with the thought, how did I ever survive before her?

Of course, some days the time stood still as I attempted to figure out this whole mothering role. But, my daughter made it easy... And I quickly figured out, I was born to be her mother.

I could remember when she turned one, I stood hovering over her bed as I couldn't imagine how big she was. I packed away her too little clothing, her no longer needed infant toys, her too small baby blankets, and remembered that beautiful first year with her.

I cried long and hard, sobbing into my pillow, as life seem to drift away.

Each year was the same scenario, I would gracefully pack away unused clothing, toys, or whatever else wasn't in her interests anymore. I cried by myself, as the time was passing at an alarming rate. I tried everything to savor moments, holding onto materialistic items just to get one last glimpse of the past.

I could remember my daughter sitting, ever so quietly, in a sea of story books, pretending to read her favorite one. This image will forever be burned into my memory, as this was the most constant position I would find her. Now, she is in the process of reading the actual words, instead of creating her own words.

I could remember the way she would search for my hand in the middle of the night, then instantly relax as soon as our hands were clasped.

I could remember when I had all day to spend with her, before we were confined to schedules.

Each year, more things and more memories are packed away, and taking with them a part of my heart, my life.

However, with time passing, I've realized that she is not attached to those materialistic items, or memories in my brain. She is full sized and right in front of my eyes. She is 5 years old and has one of the most beautiful souls I have ever seen. She is constantly, forever changing and with change, brings new beginnings.


**Happy 5th Birthday to my sweet, beautiful, thoughtful, and ever changing daughter! Life with you makes perfect sense.**

Wednesday, August 5, 2015

Mid Week Revelation: Cheerios are multiplying by the minute

I'm convinced, many years from now, when my children are grown and moved on with their lives, I'll still be finding cheerios somewhere on the floor in my house or car.

Sunday, August 2, 2015

Sibling games

My mornings have been the same thus far. I consciously begin to wake by the sounds of giggles, conversation, and little cars being strung across my living room floor.


In my household, this is known as a car race.

My two children have mustered up a game where they take EVERY one of my son's cars and push them across the floor to see who can get theirs to go the furthest.

Some mornings, my blood pressure raises from the sounds of 50 plus cars crowding up my living room, hitting off the baseboards at high velocity. Then other mornings, my heart melts from hearing them laugh and coach each other and offer strategies on how to do better with the next car.

Nonetheless, the game always ends up the same way, by abruptly stopping and leaving 50 plus cars scattered aimlessly across my hard wood floors. Suddenly, they proceed to move onto another task, which usually consists of jumping in bed with mommy for morning snuggles -which I'll never tire of. That's when I ask my oldest if the living room is free of cars and her response is frequently the same as, "maybe you shouldn't go in there yet." Then my daughter hops out of bed, also luring her brother out, saying she forgot something in the other room.

There's a quick pause... Ending with the sound of cars clanking together as they're thrown into the mesh basket. 

However, lately my daughter has been able to conjure my son into assisting with the clean up, before I can even come in the room and assess the situation...

Some call it well mannered...
I call it evidence shredding.

These truly are the happy days, as I'm able to sit back and listen to the joyful sounds of my two children living life the way it is meant to be lived. To enjoy the simplicity of childhood -making games out of practically nothing, allowing their imaginations to run completely wild, and building an incredible friendship with their sibling. 

Although, the sounds of those massive quantities of cars being spilled onto my hardwood floor is a distinct sound that I doubt I'll forget for a long time. Truthfully, on some days, the thought of cleaning it ALL up myself drives me mad. But, after I'm done creeping around on my hands and knees, picking up each individual car, I stop and stare at the empty floor and quickly notice the silence in the room. I have a moment of anguish, as I realize a few 50 cars on my floor isn't that much of a big deal in the scheme of things. That one day, yes, my living room will be clean of cars, but I'll never hear this game being played again. A game that right now, is as consistent as the sun rising. A game that brings more amusement to my children's lives than most toys and games. It's at that moment of distraught and self evaluation, that I hear something else spill out onto the playroom floor and laugh to myself at the irony of motherhood... Knowing that life is completely chaotic, and will be for years to come, but one day, it will all be completely calm and I'll be yearning for these happy days.