One moment in time, 5 years ago, two adults were carrying along with their life, anxiously awaiting the arrival of their newborn baby girl. The nursery was set, the clothes were washed, and their hospital bag was packed, while diapers and bottles were piling up in the background...
The nervous jitters of the unknown begun to sink in as the due date fast approached.
Who would ever think that one little human could change the course of life. How someone so tiny could make someone fall to their knees...
Those unknowns became knowns as quickly as the air passes into our lungs. Life with my child was like the eternal missing puzzle piece. Once placed into my arms, I wondered how my arms felt before her and how did they tolerated the lifelessness, the lack of heaviness.
My daughter has incredibly and remarkably brought immense happiness into our lives, happiness that was unheard of before her. Without her, I wouldn't be the person I am today and without her, I wouldn't have ability to love another human like I do. So, this one tiny human has completely changed every part of my soul and left me with the thought, how did I ever survive before her?
Of course, some days the time stood still as I attempted to figure out this whole mothering role. But, my daughter made it easy... And I quickly figured out, I was born to be her mother.
I could remember when she turned one, I stood hovering over her bed as I couldn't imagine how big she was. I packed away her too little clothing, her no longer needed infant toys, her too small baby blankets, and remembered that beautiful first year with her.
I cried long and hard, sobbing into my pillow, as life seem to drift away.
Each year was the same scenario, I would gracefully pack away unused clothing, toys, or whatever else wasn't in her interests anymore. I cried by myself, as the time was passing at an alarming rate. I tried everything to savor moments, holding onto materialistic items just to get one last glimpse of the past.
I could remember my daughter sitting, ever so quietly, in a sea of story books, pretending to read her favorite one. This image will forever be burned into my memory, as this was the most constant position I would find her. Now, she is in the process of reading the actual words, instead of creating her own words.
I could remember the way she would search for my hand in the middle of the night, then instantly relax as soon as our hands were clasped.
I could remember when I had all day to spend with her, before we were confined to schedules.
Each year, more things and more memories are packed away, and taking with them a part of my heart, my life.
However, with time passing, I've realized that she is not attached to those materialistic items, or memories in my brain. She is full sized and right in front of my eyes. She is 5 years old and has one of the most beautiful souls I have ever seen. She is constantly, forever changing and with change, brings new beginnings.
**Happy 5th Birthday to my sweet, beautiful, thoughtful, and ever changing daughter! Life with you makes perfect sense.**
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