Who am I? Some resolutions...

As the year 2018 comes to a screeching halt, like everyone else, I'm left reflecting...
And a bit scatter-brained, kind of like a computer with several opened tabs, but reflecting nonetheless...

I'm left with a to-do list a mile long -with things I wanted to accomplish that just never manifested... It was either there wasn't enough time, not enough money, and some, just plain laziness.

But all in all, my year was pretty spectacular... It wasn't anything fancy or vibrant, but for me, it was satisfying on my own scale.

*Family vacations, day trips, watching my daughter perform, watching my son step out of his shell, personal fetes, and mainly, everyone being healthy and happy...

As for me personally? 

hmmm... Well, after a lot of self reflection, I find there is some things that I need to work on as I move forward...

I continue to put myself on the back burner, as usual. Something I struggle with a lot as a mom - I have yet to figure out how to balance being a person and a mom at the same time... And, I exhaust all my energy into my children, that my identity has been lost in the mix.

I also wanted to put more time into my blog, but instead, I ended up putting even less time into it this year.

So, if we were to talk resolutions... 

I want to continue to be an active, engaged mom. I wouldn't change anything on that front. But, I'd love to have a little more one on one time with my husband, outside of parenting. I also want to blog more and focus on creating a brand for myself (But, I have stopped typing about 20 times during this post just to answer questions, get drinks, snacks, and listen to my daughter talk about how cool her favorite new song is - so there's that)… 

I also have been considering changing up my blog a bit. See, right now, my writing only communicates one side of me. The serious mom, who is fighting for children's rights and documents events that demonstrate how to handle parenting peacefully... But, there is another side to me - a sarcastic, funny, and sometimes, inappropriate humor type person. I guess you can say, that is who I am, outside of being a mom. 

It's funny because, my parenting style doesn't quite fit into one bracket. In real life, I consider myself a multitude of personas (and sadly, that makes navigating mom groups very difficult). I am a peaceful parent, uschooler, respectful parent, free range, and ironically, a helicopter parent all wrapped up into one. I'm progressive, but still an early 80s child at heart... I kind of pick and choose from each style and combine them to make my own. But, I add a lot of humor and sarcasm -Like, that is the dominate of it all. And, that's the side my children display the most of, too.

So, when I do navigate mom groups, I mostly see parents are all one way, with no exceptions. Their children always seem to be perfect and quiet -and everyone seems to be so serious. Whereas, I have this really neat balance where my children are really great kids, but they're funny. They're loud, talkative, and wild. But, sweet and loving. And, I'm rarely serious... 

So, my thought process was, to continue writing about what I already do. But, focus more on the ability to blend parenting styles. So, you don't have to be an all or nothing type parent. You can totally be a peaceful parent, but be humorous as well. You can be an attachment parent, but dislike cosleeping like it's the early centuries and the plague is on the rise (I hate cosleeping -but my 8 year old daughter still doesn't sleep through the night). You can be an unschooler, but say no to your child. You can be a free range parent, but helicopter the same time.

I want to be less serious, some of the time...

And, labels are sometimes restricting... Also, they seem to continuously validate or score you as a parent -and who needs that constant hassle?

Being a parent, is just simply putting your children's needs ahead of your own, it doesn't mean you have to like it, you just got to do it - because, it's only for such a short time and sooner than you know it, it'll all be over with. And then, you can be whoever the heck you want to be after that...

In the 5 years of blogging, I bet my readers never knew any of that. I did try to do a mid week humor, but writing jokes without being able to physically animate them, is a lot harder than you'd think. Because, the true essence of me, is borderline obnoxious... As my friends say (and the people who were backstage with me at theatre), I learned how to whisper in an airport hanger with people using chainsaws...

So, I'm thinking, I might start doing a video mid week humor... That's an idea I've been toying around with -I do already post a lot of videos on my Instagram account, so check them out (the_happy_days).

I haven't figured it all out yet and I'd love some feedback...


But one thing for sure is, I do want to start doing more for me and create a space in which I feel accomplished outside of just being a mom -Although, just saying that out loud, sounds really scary... However, I do have to say, it will be hard to top, because being a mom has given me such a sense of accomplishment and confidence in my life.

It brought me to where I am today...

On the other hand, change is good... And growing is even better...

But, balance is the best of all.

And having balance, will be my new mantra of 2019...

I look forward to seeing what the new year will bring...

And, I'm looking forward to hearing your thoughts as well...


**Here's a look back on some moments throughout our year -

Happy New Year!

Mid Week Humor: Sicknesses...

I feel like I missed a major component about having school age children in the home... Somewhere along the line, I didn't realize their impressive ability to just keep passing sicknesses back and forth among the entire household, every week, and apparently, for the entire year... 
Where was that, in the 'What to Expect' series???

The Happy Days Blog

Why does it seem like schools have more rights, than the parents have?

Disclaimer: This might sound a little ranty, so I apologize for this unusual style up front. But today really got me thinking...

Today, my son woke up with a stuffy nose and a sore throat, like hundreds of other children in schools all across the country... But, thankfully, our kindergarten is only 2.5 hours long, so I sent him in -due to no other major symptoms.

We stood out in front of the same glass doors that I've faced countless times before. The 15 degree temperatures pressed firmly against our skins, as we shivered under the scattered clouded sky... My daughter was bouncing around, talking with her friends, while my son tightly clung to me... He kept saying he didn't feel well, but I reassured him that it was only 2.5 hrs of school and a stuffy nose isn't something major -and he'll probably continue to have it for another week.

Then, when the teacher unlocked the doors, he broke down crying, begging me to take him home.

He just wanted to snuggle up and stay close to me because, he didn't feel well - a perfectly reasonable explanation for a 5 year old child.

But at this point, the principal and guidance counselor were involved, trying to get him to come inside.
*Too many cooks in the kitchen.

The principle even stated, "you can't stay home with only a stuffy nose." And I was told, I had to take him in to see the school nurse, to prove his sickness.

This is where the story turns...

Our state passed a law that you're only allowed 10 EXCUSED days, then the proceeding days MUST have a doctor's excuse, or they will start the truancy court process (yes, our state has their own truancy court). 

10 days, out of 180 school days...

Let that sink in.

...Even though adults get a minimum of 2 weeks vacation, plus personal days and sick days...

*This whole thing started because of this law. If our Governor didn't pass it, I wouldn't have questioned my instinct from the start and I would have trusted his ability to exam himself and kept him home. I understand the logic behind the passing of this law, because of the parents who do not send their kids to school or who take them in late all the time. But, the new law isn't going to stop them. Instead, it's only going to affect the parents like me, who want to follow the rules, but do right by their children at the same time. And in turn, this law is creating parents who send their kids to school, when they should be home resting. Or, parents who send their children back to school quicker than they should and in turn, are spreading more diseases.

So, this is what gets me heated... This is MY child, why do I need prove anything? 

Aren't I the parent?

Look, my children are just starting off in school, so I blame all the parents the prior years ahead of me, who allowed this to happen.

The parents who allowed the state to dictate your rights to your own child(ren).

Stand up for our families!
Stand up for our rights as parents!
And, stand up for our children's rights as people!

Even if my son wasn't sick and just wanted to take the day off to relax, he should be able to, without me having to prove anything...

Adults do it all the time at work.

It's a sad reality in this country that we don't have much rights to our own children, until they're adults - that includes medical too.

And if you don't see it, you're not looking clear enough. 

Districts feel, as soon as the children pass that threshold, they're now state property. And teachers think they are allowed to treat the students how they want -Instilling their beliefs, their morals, and their punishments... The school believes they are allowed to tell your children when they're allowed to go to the bathroom, when they're allowed to speak, and when they're allowed to eat.

But it doesn't work that way....

*I realize it completely does work that way in schools... But it shouldn't. 

And parents allowed it to happen...

Adults are just conditioned to separate from their children and place them in the care of strangers. Parents trust these people as extensions of their families... That has become the norm. And anyone who differs from that norm, they're the strange ones - or the ones who need to change.

But contrary to popular belief, there was once a time when a mother stayed home, looked after her children, and those children were overly attached to their families. They didn't separate easily and they hid behind their parents, when strangers talked to them.

This was once the norm.

Now, infants as young as six weeks, are off to daycare, spending the majority of their time around a bunch of strangers. And when they get sick, they're forced to deal with the uncomfortable feelings around people other than their parents, because understandably, guardians can't just leave work for every little sniffle...

So, by the time school starts, these children are conditioned. They're robotic, because they understand the system...

But, my children do not. My children aren't around anyone other than me. They don't do sleepovers, spend weekends away with a family member, or even a few hours with someone else.

I'm their constant.
Their rock.
Their home base, to feel safe and secure.

And somewhere along the way, that has become a bad thing... It became a hassle to have a child not conform and not blindly trust a stranger.

The way the staff acted today, was not out of concern, but merely with little patience. Almost like, they were shocked that when they snapped their fingers, my child didn't get hypnotized and jump right up and follow them inside - (imagine pavlov's theory).

However, he clung to me, instead of them...

So, after 20 minutes in the nurse's office, I took him home. 

He was still crying...

It was that moment, which separates me from the majority of other parents.

Most parents would have left him there, crying, because they would think that by taking him home, they would create a pattern.

But with me, I took him home because I wanted to show him that mommy will always be there for him -to listen to him, to understand him, and trust him. I wanted to validate him as a person and show him that he has rights to his own life and body.

That nobody owns him.

And, if he was having an "off" day and just didn't feel well, that is perfectly fine. We all do... And not feeling well is different for everyone and should be the parent's judgement call -not the state's.

So, he'll go tomorrow and I'll join him and his class with making gingerbread houses for their craft.

And, he'll get his do-over. 

Or, if not, and this was the early onset of a virus, then I'll trust in him to determine that, not the school...