Those days we danced silly in my kitchen...

Years from now, when she's a teenager and would rather be doing anything else on a Friday night other than dancing to tweener songs with her mama in our kitchen, I will miss this deeply. I will miss this so much, it kind of already hurts.

I could remember her being so little, cheerfully sitting in the outdoor red swing that hung from my kitchen doorway. She would sway back and forth and use wooden spoons as drum sticks, as I danced around to Joan Jett songs. She could barely talk, but the words "more" exited her mouth more often than not.

The same image continued over the years, with only the evolution of growth occurring. 

This "thing" we do, is probably my most favorite thing to do with her. It's our time to act silly, sing as loud as we want, and have dance offs (and just to add to the visual image, I can neither dance or sing)... You know, the silly stuff that you can either do at 7 years old, or 30 years old - when you're not so consumed with "fitting in."

And that time is quickly creeping up to us. The time when she'll start rolling her eyes and easily become embarrassed by me when I do something silly in public. Now, when Katey Perry's Roar comes on and we're in the store, I grab the nearest item and pretend it's a microphone and start jamming out... She laughs and joins in... But soon enough, she'll leave the isle and pretend she doesn't know me anymore.

And when that day happens, I'll fixate on those lost Friday and Saturday nights in my tiny kitchen. When her smile was as big as the sunrise and I was the most important person in her life. It'll seem like a story that I once read before bed. It'll hardly feel tangible. But, it'll be locked away, deep inside me. And I'll smile, and tear up, remembering those Happy Days that I once thought were so consuming.

But until those days arrive, I will gladly welcome a dance party with my little girl, any day of the week. 

And, I'll hold onto the moments -with both fist clenched, never letting go...

That time I got what I wanted...

I could remember the days of repetitious routines - The mind numbing constants... The early wake-ups, the around the clock feedings, and the midnight crying for more snuggles.

I could remember being pulled in so many directions that I swore I'd eventually break apart...

I couldn't even stand in one place long enough to have a conversation with my husband, because, something instinctual in my children was determined to cry at that very second.

And at the end of my long days, I'd sit motionless in the darkness for a moment, before it would begin all over again. And I used to dream of a time where I could hear the birds chirping outside, because my home was quiet...

It's a hard concept to comprehend how much changes in just a few short years. How, when you drop both children off at school and come to an empty home, where their toys are left in mid motion... The kindles quietly sit on the kitchen table, Wonder Woman is laying in the hallway, a Junie B Jones book is sitting on the kitchen counter, and the Xbox is still warm from playing Roblox minutes before school started.

My home is too quiet that it is actually uncomfortable...

I tidy up, make the beds, and prep dinner. But my soul is thirsty for the noise, the commotion, and the need.

And I'm still learning how to navigate daily tasks, without being pulled in 100 different directions.

But most of all, through my travels, I leave those scattered motionless toys exactly where my children left them. Because to me, it feels like they're still here. But as soon as I put them back in their spots, the feeling of me being alone will only grow larger.  

So I sometimes find myself wandering through my home, walking in and out of empty rooms, replacing the hollow spaces with memories from the past.

And that time I once dreamed of a quiet home, sticks through me like a knife cutting through butter...

And now, I sit in the quiet, counting down the clock until I see my larger than life personality ridden children again...

This is another side to Veterans Day...

Happy Veterans Day to all the men and women who have put their lives on the line to serve and protect us. I couldn't even begin to imagine the feeling of leaving your family behind, to be on foreign soil and participate in situations that wouldn't be the standard back home.

Veterans Day is very dear to me, because I have two family members who were so courageous enough to be part of America's military...

My poppy was a child of the 20s and a teen of the 30s. He never graduated high school because, he worked in the coal mines to help bring money home for his family. He quickly enlisted in the military on his 18th birthday, as the majority did during that era. They say the men of WWII were from a different mold and I'm sure they were. As my poppy lived in a fox hole, walked the front lines, and stormed Omaha beach in Normandy. As a child, I rarely heard him speak of the War. But when he did, he constantly spoke of the fear he had when he ran across that sand, his boots sinking into the earth, as bullets whizzed by his head. He often questioned why he made it to safety, when so many others did not.

My dad was drafted at 18 years old into Vietnam. He was a child of the 50s and a teen of the 60s. He proudly went to war to serve, as so many of his fellow brothers had done before him. He smiled as he waved goodbye to his loved ones, setting off to an adventure of the unknown. The stories I've heard from my dad, would make the biggest, baddest, man cry. And at almost 70 years old, all these years later, he sometimes is like that 18 year old boy who was drafted... He wears his emotional scars on the outside of his body and hasn't ever been able to shake the memories of those years.

My poppy and dad may have served decades apart, but what they both had in common, were the scars they brought back home with them... Not the visual scars you can see on their bodies, however, I'm sure they have them too. But, scars on their souls. Those smiling boys left the states as naive, trusting people, only to return as someone else.

Sadly, that's the problem with War... You never come back the same. Every man and woman who ever interacted in some form of combat will always be changed forever.

And for my dad, and I'm sure many other Veterans too, this day is a tough day for them. It's a day that brings those suppressed memories back to the forefront of the brain. It's a day that must have emotional anguish of being proud and sad at the same moment...

Something that none of us who haven't served, can ever imagine...

With that, I'll always appreciate every soldier (past and present) for their eternal sacrifice to keep us safe. Every solider will always hold a special place in my heart... And I'll never stop thanking a soldier when I see them out in front of me, or praying for their safe return... And I'll never stop praying for a Veteran soldier to overcome their emotional scars and get the help they need to be the person everyone knows they truly are inside...

So, happy Veterans Day soliders! This honorable day is for you!

Mid Week Humor: Laugh and Cry. Duct Tape and WD 40...

The art of navigating early motherhood comes down to your ability to laugh and cry... Laugh, when things are funny. And cry, when they're not... It's like the Duct Tape and WD 40 logic of Motherhood.

The Happy Days Blog

That time my children became friends...

Somewhere between the arguing, the "get out of my room," and the "I can't stand you," a bond formed... 

... A bond stronger than any sibling relationship... 

Instead, this is a best friendship.

A friendship where, they don't even know where one half of them starts and the other half ends...

A friendship where, their love for each other is as natural as the sun rising -and is not forced.

It turns out, my daughter wasn't looking for a little brother, she was looking for a best friend to travel this journey with...

... And he couldn't be happier with his role.

Mid Week Humor: The day after Halloween...

Today is, National Eat Candy for Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinner Day... Basically, eat the candy until you get so sick of it, that you don't want it again until next Halloween... Or, is this just me and my gluttonous ways?

The Happy Days Blog

The old notion of schooling...

When I was a child, school was this, "rite of passage," that we all attended. Like, it was written in stone that everyone must go through this journey, good or bad. And in the end, we all learned a secret handshake.

They said, school would help us grow, it would help us experience life, and help us understand the world. It was supposed to be a life lesson that everyone was in agreement that children needed to experienced in unison.

What wasn't planned, was the unnecessary branches that grew illogically from the roots...

What I remember from school, was this barbaric notion of evolution and the domineering food chain, but it didn't resemble real-life. 

In school, we were taught that the most popular prevail above all and being in that group, would get you far. So, most kids aspired to fit in that group. They went to great lengths to belong and tore down many peers in the process. However, talent and achievements were irrelevant in that category. And the "smarties" were mocked, bullied, and tormented, and were not considered an important member of society -Even though, those kids turned out to be the Mark Zuckerbergs of the world.

Children are bullied daily, some to the point of the ultimate sacrifice. They are tried and tested... And contrary to popular belief, children don't bounce back from that. They're not resilient, like everyone claims. Children just get torn down to a hollow empty shell and eventually re-shape themselves into someone different.

And the halls we imagined for ourselves, never quite measured up to the ones in Saved by the Bell...

We were taught to sit in single file desks and stare at a black board. We had little breaks throughout the day and movement was limited. We read out of textbooks and never did group work. And fun learning games were only a celebratory thing, never frequent... 

We were bombarded with repetitious acts to train our brains to recite, instead of understand. Because for some reason, memorization was more important than retention.

Standardize testing has never been used upon departure of school. All it teaches, is how to tear down your self-esteem. It removes the fun of learning and the ability to absorb the basic understanding. It is a pressure system that separates the calm and collective from the nervous and anxiety ridden bunch.

It's no wonder that children lose themselves in the process of schooling. They're told when to eat, when to use the bathroom, what to wear, and when to talk. By the end of their schooling, children are left to decide who they want to be for the rest of their lives. After over a decade, of not being allowed to make a decision... And most, lost sight of the person who once had so many aspirations and dreams. 

Because in school, dreaming isn't measurable and to educators, isn't attainable... 

This once, "rite of passage," has belittled the education system since new research has grown. 

We've now learned that we don't have to subject our children to the same bullying and barbaric education system that we were once a part of. Instead, we banded together and demanded more. 

We learned that kindness and acceptance of all, will create a better person. Our children are taught to stand up for others and help a fellow peer, and to always stand up for their own convictions.

We've learned that standing out against the crowd, is sometimes better than fitting in.

We learned that unschooling proves more promising and less structure in schools, actually promotes more positive results and compliance. 

We learned that tests and grades in elementary levels creates abnormal stresses and decreases confidence for future education.

We learned that children should move around more throughout the day and have more breaks and be outside multiple times a day.

We learned that respect should always be offered from not just the students, but the teachers and staff too. Because, how can a child learn to respect, if they're not being respected.

We have learned that children are more than just robots that can be controlled. Instead, they're these little humans ready to soak up any knowledge worth knowing, when it's being presented correctly. 

Schools have come a long way from my days of walking the halls... Thanks to the ones who demanded more for their children. The parents and educators who sought out the change and implemented the movement to help mold better humans.

But most importantly, we've also learned that school is no longer a rite of passage, but instead, only an option. If your school doesn't fit with your morals and values, then you don't have to subject your children to it. And until all schools reach these new standards, homeschooling is the safer option for your children.

Being at home is a scary concept for many, because it's different. But different isn't always bad. And in this case, you want to be different from the norm.

The most important part is, you're home with your child. You're experiencing life together. And, any problems that arise, can be faced with the love and security from family support. 

Your child isn't left alone, wandering their brain to find solutions for things they don't even know. They're not forced to compare their qualities with peers for acceptance. And they're not torn down and made to be reshaped into an unrecognizable person.

Schooling has come a long way over the years, but it still needs to move leaps and bounds more. And the only way we'll get there, is by parents becoming more educated on unschooling and demanding that their children be treated with the same respect, as you would treat another person. 

If we really want schooling to teach our children what real life is, then we need to start creating a school system that is life like -filled with choices and respect.

So, when our children graduate, they'll be kinder humans ready to soften this world. And, they won't have to spend their college years trying to figure out who they are, they'll already know...

Because our children deserve better than this...

Mid Week Humor: Listening skills...

Me: Please, no running.
Kids: *running.
Me: Ok, thanks.

-At least I know that my powers of invisibility are still going strong...

The Happy Days Blog

That time I was diagnosed with a tumor...

I sat in the semi-lit room, on an outstretched gurney, while my feet dangled off the side of the cold metal. My mother-in-law stood beside me, as I counted the beats in my chest. The large room which I entered, begun to rapidly feel smaller and smaller... 

Minutes prior, I was laying horizontally, when the sonographer was moving the wand diligently over my left breast. She cautiously overlapped one area multiple times and stopped for an abnormal amount of pictures. She remained silent the entire time. The pit in my stomach rose, as I attempted small talk, but was rejected due to her steadfast concentration. When she finally did reply, I was met with, "I'll get the doctor."

I held my Mala beads so tightly in my hands, they were slippery from the sweat. My mother-in-law rubbed my back, as my fear was noticeable. Seconds later, the doctor stepped in...

He stood before me, tall and regal, and explained my exam while apologizing for the undesirable mammogram. Then the words slowly left his lips... And for a brief moment, time stood still and I could almost see the dust particles floating through the air...

They found a tumor in my breast...

In those seconds, my young 35 year old brain flashed through my life. And I immediately welled up with emotions. I was almost angry... Angry at the thought of something I couldn't control coming between my children and I. For god sakes, they're only 5&7 years old. I couldn't be dealing with this. I almost wanted to walk out and sweep this whole conversation under the rug and save it for another time -Like another 50 years...

The doctor informed me that I needed a biopsy and was to meet with a breast oncology surgeon, who thankfully, was amazing. And I'm a luckier person for having him grace my life.

Weeks of other testing and appointments and anguish over my future predicament, all nearly sent me over the edge. I had this urge to just shut everyone out and ride my life out with only my children and I tucked away in a tiny house in the woods... Without ever knowing the definitive result.

There were days that I cried on the floor, fervently sobbing over life ideas that haven't even happened yet. Usually, I spend most of my days relishing in past memories and now, I couldn't help but think of the future... How I'd give up anything, take anything, do anything, just so I could be with my children forever. 

...To witness graduation, marriages, and be an awesome grandma and pass down traditions. To sit with my teenage daughter and talk about boys. To raise my son to be nothing short of a kind gentleman in this crazy world. To just be there for morning drop off and afternoon pick up. To help with homework and run to soccer practice...

To just live...

And I realize to an outsider, these are dramatic thoughts and emotions for a person who doesn't have a definitive diagnosis. But, I challenge anyone who has children, especially young children, to hear the words tumor and referral to a breast oncology surgeon and not go to a scary place in your brain...

But obviously, I didn't run off into the dark of night and sweep all this under the rug, Instead, I made the appointment, with not only my husband standing beside me, but my friends and family as well... I knew I was lucky in life, but man, I couldn't help but feel the positivity from the support I received. My group rose me up. They helped me open my eyes to reality of moving forward; with phone calls, text messages, random coffee shop laughs, visits with desserts, and long conversations... All just letting me know they were there, at any time.

So when I sat on the cold gurney again, awaiting my biopsy, I wasn't full of fear. This time, I was full of hope. That even if the results came back as cancer, I could handle it. I could face it. And I could beat it. Because I had an army behind me, that wouldn't let me do anything differently. 

And, my other mother-in-law graciously stayed with me at home for a few days upon recovery, which meant more to me, than she'll ever know.

And in the end, after 4 long weeks from the first test, I was safe. My results came back as a benign tumor -Fibroadenoma. And I cried in relief, as the elephant sauntered off my chest and the air in the room became lighter... 

It was over...

But only being 35 years old, the reality of life still remained... It's amazing how untouchable we all perceive ourselves. How much we put off for tomorrow, thinking it will always be there for another day. But it's crazy, how only one day can take all these hopes, dreams, and aspirations and dangle them in front of us like an unattainable fantasy. 

How, none of this is guaranteed.

How, we all have these things we put on a imaginary bucket list, always fantasizing about a later, better time. But why aren't we doing them now, when the time is fresh and pure? When the time is actually palpable?

Because cancer doesn't care how old you are, or what you're eager to accomplish, or what you're putting off until tomorrow... And sadly, for some women (and men), these bucket list items may never matriculate.

And the coincidental occurrence of time couldn't be more dramatic. All this, with October being breast cancer awareness month... 

As I write this, I'm beyond incredibly grateful for my second chance; my "all clear." But, my heart shatters into pieces for those who didn't have the same outcome -those women who had to face the gut wrenching fear, while looking into their children's eyes, or lay awake beside their husband, relieving every moment.

My heart goes out to the ones who picked themselves up and dug deep, during the final innings of play, when it really counted... The ones who found strength, they never knew they had. To the remarkable women, who are fighting this horrendous disease and somehow, find the power to keep being awesome...

You ladies, are warriors...

You ladies, are in my thoughts now more than ever. And I'm praying for you all to have a full recovery and for all your dreams to come true...

So everyone, hug your babies extra tight tonight. Keep them close and love on them, until you can't love anymore. You'll never regret being with them too much and there will never be a part of you that will have resentment for doing so...

Take that trip with your family.
Hop in a car, without a destination.
Take a long weekend.
Have a campfire on a Tuesday night, just because. And let your children eat dinner on the blanket.
Buy that dress, shoes, purse, or whatever it is you fancy.
Don't worry so much about money and status.
Love your husband.
Love your family.
Hug for no reason... And hug for every reason.
Be kind to your neighbors and fellow man/woman.
Be thoughtful and courteous.
Hold the door for that person walking through.
Allow that driver to change lanes or merge.
Smile.
Wave a driver into traffic.
Help carry something for someone.
Talk to a random person in line at the checkout counter.

Be a kind human and live in the now.

Live it all now...

Because now, is all we have.

He's a boy, who is growing up...

From day one, this little boy was my right hand man... He has always been by my side and never spent a night away from me. As a baby, he was most likely found curled up, sleeping in my Maya Wrap, at any given time. He would lay there, peacefully sleeping while his little eyes were tightly closed and his puckered lips fell loose... I don't even think he was aware that he had the potential to walk, until well after his first birthday -And that was due to his above average large size, which made carrying him to be utilized only under dire need.

So when school began, I pictured a sad little boy who desperately wanted to stay close to his mama's security. I pictured a little boy reaching out for me and begging me to stay with him. I pictured him holding onto our hug, just a little bit longer than needed...

But instead, he was the opposite. He was eager and excited. And in some ways, of course he misses me, but mostly, he's very happy meeting new people and learning his letters. And at each pick-up, he cannot wait to tell me about what he and his friends did that day.

Once upon a time, he was this boy who didn't have weekly scheduled play dates with friends, like his sister once did. Instead, he's a boy who would much rather ride solo in his playroom and imagine with his Batman guys for hours. And oddly, he is a boy who exceeded my expectations and is happily attending preschool and rocking it like a boss...

He isn't thrown by being away from me. Instead, he's excelling.

But, he's a boy who his mama misses deeply. He's a boy who I still miss snuggled up in my wrap, close to my heart. And I'm still trying to find my groove of how to manage my down time, without being mauled by hugs and kisses, from my lovable son. 

It seems, he's having an easier time adjusting, than I am. And that makes me very proud, because he's moving in the direction he's supposed to... And for me, it does make it easier knowing that he's happily content while away from me. Otherwise, I'd be sad and stressed...

But for now, I will patiently wait until pick up time, where he cannot wait to jump in my arms and tell me all about his fun day.

4 year Blogiversary, with an added about me section...

Over the course of this past week, my Facebook news feed was buzzing with different posts about my past Blogiversaries... It appears, I completely forgot about it already being 4 years that I have been a mommy blogger.

But wow! I almost need a moment to say, that all went by quickly...

As of now, my blog is still a hobby. Meaning, I don't do sponsored posts or get money for any of my writings. I get offers all the time, but I like the free range I have to post on my own accord and about whatever I want. Eventually, I'd like to take my blog to the next level, but for now, I'm enjoying where it is at... That being said, even without the outlets that sponsored posts enable, my blog is still reaching a lot of people. Each post gets a few hundred views and I'm incredibly grateful for each person who reads my writings. Because, I want to inspire as many people as I can to enjoy motherhood, even with all its ups and downs. To help others not feel so alone in this huge world. And to let them know, there are others out there who think and feel, just like you do...

I first started this, when my son was 9 months old and my daughter was newly 3 years old. I felt like I was free falling daily and I was in survival mode. I had trouble getting into the routine of everyone needing me at the exact same time and I struggled with the mom guilt of sometimes having to say, "wait a minute," to one of my children.

Here is the link to the past blogiversary post...
2 year Blogiversary...

Four years later, from the first time my fingers typed out a blog post, I am a different person. I was already changing after having my first child, but adding a second child into the mix early on, threw my straight line into a zigzag. And, I had to balance it back out... Blogging was not only a way for me to put my thoughts into words so I could reflect on them, but it also held me accountable for who I wanted to become.

I was raised very differently from how I parent now. And being from a small town, I wasn't exposed to many other styles of parenting. But after scouring for other mommy bloggers to connect with, in order to open up my mommy blogging world to other like-minded individuals, I discovered a blogger who had very similar ideologies and background. She was everything I wanted to become, only, I wasn't aware of it yet.

Her words would always resonate with me and her parenting appeared effortless. She was kind, patient, and always understanding. She admitted to bad days, but never hovered on them. And I strongly believe(d) that was the key to happiness with small children, keep moving forward and never dwell on tough moments...

But there I was, stuck in a rut of only focusing on the negative. And surrounded by negativity from the world around me... My Facebook feed was filled with parents complaining about their children. Sometimes posting photos or memes mocking their kids. And they would boast about drinking their wine after their kids went to sleep, like they deserved an award for parenting. 

I knew I didn't want to be like them... Hell, I always made a point to be different, even if it was just for principle... So I thought, why not at least make my being different, a movement.

So, after finding other fellow mommy bloggers with similar styles and beliefs, I discovered there was a whole world out there I never knew existed...

There were these hippie, attachment, peaceful, gentle, unschooling parents, who really enjoyed being around their children all the time. Ones who also do not believe in punishment, but self respect and body autonomy. And agree that kindness, patience, understanding, and love serve as a wonderful disciplinary technique. And, guidance through modeled behaviors, serve as the number one tool.

They also don't think you're weird for treating your child as a human with rights, rather than some controlled object in desperate need of punishment... Which is an ideology that seems so normal, it's juvenile.

These moms didn't make me feel like an outsider...

And for how much I dislike what technology has done to our lives, at the same time, I'm grateful for it and who it brought into my life and the friends I've made because of it.

And the past four years have made me grow, because of the group I'm exposed to daily, with our shared lives and dreams.

So thank you to all who continue to support me and I hope I've helped your life in some way, the way other bloggers have for me.

And, in addition to this post, here are 10 things about me (in no apparent order), that maybe you didn't know...

1. I'm almost 36 years old.
2. I have a 7 year old daughter and in 2.5 months, a 5 year old son.
3. I have my Master degree in Occupational Therapy and I'm only 3 credits away from my Bachelors in Psychology. I wanted a dual degree because, I wanted to work on a psych ward or in a prison. But, during my graduate year, I was writing so many papers, plus my thesis, that I didn't want to take the last 3 credit research class to finish it off. My brain was fried. 
4. However, I always wanted to be a writer. When I was little, I used to write short stories all the time. And sometimes, I'd write short sketches and my brother and his friends would act them out for me. I even wrote a 100+ page sci-fi story that I hope one day, I'll rewrite into a novel... But, I bailed on that dream because my parents always made me feel like it was a stupid idea.
5. I played college field hockey and broke the records for single season goals and career goals and still own the record for them, 14 years later. I also was the only one from my school's team to be selected and participate in the division all-star team. Which was one of the most intimidating things I did.
6. I always thought I'd go back to work after my children were in school full time, but now I realized, that being a mom is what I was meant to do. And I never loved something more.
7. My husband and I have been together for 15 years and married for almost 9 years. It's a cliche, but I knew he was the one, as soon as I met him.
8. I love to eat, all the time. And not just junk food, but actual full meals.
9. I'm loud, talkative, obnoxious, and funny in "real life." Sadly, that side doesn't translate well into my words... I grew up watching stand up comedy from a young age and can recite almost any bit, the way people can recite song lyrics. George Carlin was my first show... And, If I wasn't scared to be in front of people, I'd be a stand up comedian -or at least, try.
10. I'm loyal to a fault and family is everything to me...

Mid Week Humor: It's called balance...

Most days, your children have it all together and are very respectful towards one another... And then, there are these random days where one pushes the other one over because, quite simply, their leg was too close to them... It's called balance.

The Happy Days Blog

Just one mom's opinion about our teacher's strike...

Amidst the chaos of our second teacher's strike, our little small town has been completely split right down the middle. It seems, everyone has an opinion about this topic and is voicing it -right down to the grocery store clerk or the gas attendant. What I've been seeing from the majority is, the taxpayers seem to have only picked the side of the board or the teachers. Social media battles enveloped over who is right and which side is wrong. But my question is, what about the students?

We are one of the few states left that allow for a strike during the school year. I'm not sure of all the logistics, but I think they can take somewhere up to 5 weeks off? Or, whatever number allows the district to get in their 180 days... The strike begun September 22 and could last up to October 19 --leaving a few extra days to strike again before the school year ends...

The demands from the teachers are as followed...

(The blotted out items are only names, the obstruction doesn't block out the points).

I'm not even going to touch on those demands, because they are not the point of this post. I do have an issue with the teachers union demanding free healthcare in 2017 and expecting the taxpayers to pay for it. Especially when taxpayers have to pay for their own insurance. And so do police officers, firemen, and EMTs. But on the flipside, I don't believe anyone, in the number 1 industrialized country in the world, should have to pay for their healthcare. So, I kind of respect the union for holding their stance... See, I'm torn with morality and personal opinion based on jealously -so, I stay out of the mess and only care about the children because, that's a lot more clear cut. Because, this is all supposed to be about the children anyways --that's why we're all here discussing this in the first place. 

Now, this is only my opinion, take it with a grain of salt... But I would never defend anyone saying to dismantle the unions. Unions are who shaped our world. They gave us the 40 hour work week, holidays, sick time, and personal time, and many other working perks. And, I even defend their right to strike, as a whole, even if I don't agree with some of the reasons...

Teachers, in theory, are the future of our children. They will be the ones who educate and teach them the knowledge regarding school work. Plus for some families, they're with the child more than the parents. So, those teachers who inspire and respect the students and go above and beyond for them (the way a family member would), deserve everything they're asking for and more. Because, those special teachers pick right up, where the parents leave off. 

But lets be real here, there isn't a high percentage like this...

That's where my next point comes in, if they remove tenure and only raise salaries based on merit, I'd bet you'd see a lot of changes within the education system. Plus, you would save money, because not everyone would be raising their pay at the same time and on the same scale. And some, not at all.

Tenure has seem to create an over-confident, arrogant branch of teachers (for some teachers). A group who aren't scared of parents or ruining a child's love for school. They're robotic in nature and have very little tolerance of what a child's normal behavior pattern should be. They want order and control and are responsible for the unschooling movement of trying to prevent a square peg child to fit into a circle hole...

A teacher has the innate ability to make or break a child, but when we keep putting these "bad teachers" in the rotation, by allowing them the advancements of free higher education and more pay, we're cutting our children short on giving them the right to have a better teacher hired instead. Especially when, you have to shuffle a "bad teacher" among different schools and grades because, they can't be fired without jumping through hoops... Again, the children are the only ones who suffer.

In fact, there is no other profession out there that has the potential to harm a child's character or help a child flourish, all at the same time.

With all that, I can't imagine why anyone wouldn't want the greatest of teachers to have everything to motivate them to stay great. The same way a sahm or working mom wants recognition for how important their roles really are. There should be a way to separate these types of teachers... 

But what I want, and I think any parent would want, is for those "bad teachers" to be held accountable. To have them stop being the weak link who give great teachers a bad name. Those teachers who brag about failing kids (newsflash, if a child fails in your class, you're a failure of a teacher, especially in a wealthy district like ours where advantages are high). And those who follow blindly with the herd and the ones who won't created new ideas because it's what they've been doing for years. The ones who embarrass students in front of a crowded classroom. The ones who shame students for not knowing answers. Or, the ones who no longer inspire students, who do not move forward with the times, trends, or interests... Because, I'm pretty sure when parents are taking the Board's side in this argument, this is the image of teacher's they're fighting against. And that's not fair to the ones who truly are wonderful.

And well, I know the administration is to blame on other financials areas that my brain isn't even aware of. But the ones I am aware of are, turfing a baseball field (even professionals don't play on a turf field), installing a top of the line walk way to the parking lot (which will be ripped up to build the new school), and somehow, we pay one of the highest taxes in our area, but yet, there doesn't ever seem to be enough money...

I posted a blog at the end of last year, talking about the perks of our school (Last day of school... ) I still believe all that to be true. And I won't let a few bad apples cloud my opinion of how good this district really is. And when I say that, I'm not talking about our test scores or rankings. I'm talking about its structure and implemented design. Because, I give a lot of the credit of high test scores and rankings to the parents/caregivers. We have one of the highest numbers of stay at home parents and our parents are actively involved on a daily basis with all school functions. So much, that there is a raffle to chaperone field trips... 

Parents are the ones left at the end of the day to teach the information to the children, because somehow, 7 hours a day, just isn't long enough to teach. Somehow, on an elementary level (2nd grade to be exact), students are forced to miss a recess to finish assignments, because for some reason, there isn't enough time. Homework is given, without having time to even touch on the topic, but parents are forced to figure it out and teach it to their children --thanks to google.

Parents deserve a lot of the credit...

We as a community, are tight-knit. Adults still attend sporting events, even though their children graduated in the 90s. Families have raised generations here and still remain here. Everyone knows everybody and kids of past classmates are overlapping once again.

There isn't a need for all this divide. There isn't a need for adults to be bullying each other and acting the same way, we as parents, are trying to prevent our children from acting.

Something obviously needs to change and one of the sides will need to budge. And right now, it doesn't look as if either side will. But like I stated in the post I wrote back in June (Last day of school...), what I fear will happen if they do give in to the teachers, is a lot of the perks that we have and make us stand out from the other districts, will eventually fall to the waste side. -Because, you just cannot get blood from a stone.

And my hope is, those parents who tell me stories about how teachers have mistreated their children and the disrespect they endured -the shaming and demeaning etc, will fight for change within the district. And the teachers who deserve the praise, get a public standing ovation.

For me, I personally do not care how long this strike lasts. I love being home with my child anyways. I love teaching her. I love the idea of unschooling and teaching her through experience. So I will never complain about that... I do feel for the working parents though, and I'm sorry for what you're going through... And, I won't even complain about going to school until June 30th either. But, I will complain and refuse to send my child over Christmas holiday break... Because, I will not allow the district to break up my family traditions and holiday get-together dinners, just to make up days that weren't even my decision to miss in the first place. 

And most importantly, remember parents, your children are always watching and listening to you. They're always going to emulate your modeled behaviors because, they admire you. So keep it kind and civil. And don't worry so much about which side you're on (board or teacher) - it doesn't really matter anyways. Just pick the side of your child... Demand respect for your child... And when you see injustices occurring in your child's life, stand up for them. Don't worry so much about what others will think. Do not care what the teachers will say about you while they're lining up in single file lines outside the main door, one minute before their contractual start time. Don't worry about what they'll say about you while they're locking kids out in the hallways because, they're wearing matching slogan shirts and gabbing about the strike. Don't worry about what they are saying about you, while they're on Facebook during class time, instead of helping your child... 

And don't worry about what the Board will say about you either, because they're trying to keep up public ratings...

Don't worry about any of it...

Because during all this, they're not worrying about you.


*Here's another link I wrote about the strike last year... After our 5 week strike...

That time my daughter sung in front of a crowd...

Since the day my daughter discovered her voice formed understandable words, she hasn't stopped talking. In fact, it was around her first birthday that she begun to memorize a few simple nursery rhymes to add to her language.

My daughter speaking has always filled the quiet air since she was only 5 months old (when dadda first exited her lips). She was determined to add as many words into her vocabulary as her maturing brain would allow. 

And Hooplakidz on YouTube, quickly became her first love.

Eventually, she would sing more than she spoke. And her ability to memorize multiple songs at one time was always impressive to me. But I was/am determined to be a humble mom, so I always kept my daughter's talents on the down-low, in fear of being -"That Mom."

At a later time, Frozen graced our lives and her nursery rhyme songs immediately transferred over to magical Disney princess themed songs. Quickly, she learned every word of each song on our soundtrack and little by little, she started changing her voice to fit the melody of, Let It Go.

At first, I didn't see the talent, because Idina Menzel sings so elegantly and high. My daughter was hitting the notes and sounded great, but it was in a different key. And being only 4-5 years old, I would just praise her for her ability and go about our days.

Since then, she sung Let it Go and Troll's Get Back up Again, in her kindergarten and 1st grade talent shows. It wasn't competitive, so there weren't any winners. And family wasn't allowed to attend because it wasn't a big-to-do. She would tell me it went fine, and that was it.

However, within the past year, she developed a love for America's Got Talent and loves watching these kids make their dreams come true. She started to see how they were able to take a song and make it their own -with their own abilities. Then, our home begun to fill with YouTube karaoke versions of adult songs and her belting out each line, almost perfectly.

When I would hear silence, I sauntered to her bedroom to see what happened. I would stand in her doorway, out of sight, and watch her quietly write down her own songs. She would cross out lines, add new ones, then sing a few lines, and make more adjustments. Her concentration and interest finally sparked a chord in me. I started to take her more seriously. And I helped her with songs and offered different suggestions as well.

Then, a few months ago, in passing, I heard her sing Alicia Keys, Girl on Fire (she heard it from a girl on The Voice Australia). And it finally all clicked. I was blown away. I realized her singing Let It Go didn't make sense, because that isn't her voice style. She doesn't have that choir sound. Instead, she has a soul voice, with a bluesy undertone. It's a signature voice that stands out. And that song emphasized it.

And she not only nailed the chorus, she blew it out of the water for only newly turning 7 years old...

So needless to say, my taking notice just took a front seat. And for her birthday, she was gifted an expensive karaoke machine from her Nana and Poppy.

Now, her aspirations upped to appearing on Ellen and being a famous singer.

But, I battle with privacy... I do on here too. I love to promote my way of parenting and hope my writings are relatable and help others on their parenting journey. But I keep what I can private, like names and locations. That's my balance, and after 3 years, I figured out how to navigate it all while still sharing.

But, to put a video out there, makes me nauseous...

So I constantly delay.

I kept telling her to work on a few things. Thinking, I'd buy more time. But within a day or a week, she'd perfect what I asked. Then, I would offer up something else and she'd blow past that as well --So on and so forth.

Until I eventually said, you should be able to sing the song 10,000 times and it should never sound different each time.

We were at that point...

Then, this past Thursday evening, I checked my daughter's backpack and saw an open mic talent show sheet for our local Harvest Festival. Problem was, it was for the next evening. I paced, wandered, and waded through my thoughts, until I figured I should included my daughter into the process...

She begged and pleaded to do it and assured me she was ready.

Friday morning, I called the person in charge to asses the situation. I didn't want my newly 7 year old involved in some mega catty competition -think, Abby's school of dance.

-They assured me that it was family oriented.

So come Friday, we registered for the open mic.

We didn't have music with us, as this was literally last minute. But the other contestants did. And they ranged from 18 to my daughter's age and they were all in one category.

My daughter started to get nervous, as her time was quickly approaching (as anyone obviously would). She rattled off that she didn't think she could do it, but when they announced her name, a switch went off and she walked to the stage. She asked me to join her, which of course, I obliged. So I sat with my feet dangling off the stage beside her. 

She sung, Girl on Fire, acapella -she stood frozen in one place and barely looked away from me, but as she finished, the crowd cheered and she smiled the biggest smile and proudly walked off.

What a fete!

For her first time ever performing in front of anyone and trying to navigate a mic with surround sound, I was impressed.

And apparently, so were the judges, as they placed her third. The first and second place winners have performed before. And the first place winner was in a local theater group. So, with my daughter placing third among that pedigree, I was impressed again...

And her reward was to perform at the Harvest Festival on Sunday.

The day of, she worked the room, thanking the judges for the opportunity again and again. Many friends and family came out to support her, and the ones who couldn't make it, eagerly waited for the video to be posted on my personal social media.

Right before her performance, she was focused and still. She didn't talk much or move about. She was nervous, yet excited. And anxiously waited to be announced.

Then, right before walking on stage, she has another moment of panic. But this time, she said, "I won't let fear get in the way of my dreams," and took the mic from the stage manager and walked up the six steps to the stage, that overlooked about 50 people (with a crowd of 100+ passerbys in the background).

She announced her name and gave a thumbs up to the sound guy. I sat nervously on the ground in front of her -locking eyes. But when the music started, she didn't need me for comfort. She naturally transformed into someone else, effortlessly. And then, she started to sing. And I heard the random, "wow!" from behind me. And when she belted out the chorus, the crowd cheered -loudly. And the random passerbys, stopped and also cheered. Soon, people were watching and listening. And when she ended, she got a standing ovation.

She may have won third, but she gave a first place performance...

This time, she had stage presence, charm, and worked the crowd. And again, for just turning 7 years old, with no professional lessons, and her first time performing, I was proud. So proud, that I cried like a baby... Even other people cried too. 

It was an awesome experience.

And she told the judges upon exiting that she'll see them again next year, but she's trying for first place.

The best part of this journey wasn't only the process, but also, the conclusion too. Because, as we all continued to talk so much about it, reliving the moment over and over, my daughter was over it. Yes, she was happy, but she was incredibly humble about it. Or, she didn't quite realize how awesome it all was and how big of a step it was for her. Either way, I was not only proud of her performance, but I was also proud of her character. And to me, that makes her more of a star...

And when I figure out how to watermark the video, I might post it on here... So stay tuned :)

And now, she's working on Andra Day's, Rise up.