Just one mom's opinion about our teacher's strike...

Amidst the chaos of our second teacher's strike, our little small town has been completely split right down the middle. It seems, everyone has an opinion about this topic and is voicing it -right down to the grocery store clerk or the gas attendant. What I've been seeing from the majority is, the taxpayers seem to have only picked the side of the board or the teachers. Social media battles enveloped over who is right and which side is wrong. But my question is, what about the students?

We are one of the few states left that allow for a strike during the school year. I'm not sure of all the logistics, but I think they can take somewhere up to 5 weeks off? Or, whatever number allows the district to get in their 180 days... The strike begun September 22 and could last up to October 19 --leaving a few extra days to strike again before the school year ends...

The demands from the teachers are as followed...

(The blotted out items are only names, the obstruction doesn't block out the points).

I'm not even going to touch on those demands, because they are not the point of this post. I do have an issue with the teachers union demanding free healthcare in 2017 and expecting the taxpayers to pay for it. Especially when taxpayers have to pay for their own insurance. And so do police officers, firemen, and EMTs. But on the flipside, I don't believe anyone, in the number 1 industrialized country in the world, should have to pay for their healthcare. So, I kind of respect the union for holding their stance... See, I'm torn with morality and personal opinion based on jealously -so, I stay out of the mess and only care about the children because, that's a lot more clear cut. Because, this is all supposed to be about the children anyways --that's why we're all here discussing this in the first place. 

Now, this is only my opinion, take it with a grain of salt... But I would never defend anyone saying to dismantle the unions. Unions are who shaped our world. They gave us the 40 hour work week, holidays, sick time, and personal time, and many other working perks. And, I even defend their right to strike, as a whole, even if I don't agree with some of the reasons...

Teachers, in theory, are the future of our children. They will be the ones who educate and teach them the knowledge regarding school work. Plus for some families, they're with the child more than the parents. So, those teachers who inspire and respect the students and go above and beyond for them (the way a family member would), deserve everything they're asking for and more. Because, those special teachers pick right up, where the parents leave off. 

But lets be real here, there isn't a high percentage like this...

That's where my next point comes in, if they remove tenure and only raise salaries based on merit, I'd bet you'd see a lot of changes within the education system. Plus, you would save money, because not everyone would be raising their pay at the same time and on the same scale. And some, not at all.

Tenure has seem to create an over-confident, arrogant branch of teachers (for some teachers). A group who aren't scared of parents or ruining a child's love for school. They're robotic in nature and have very little tolerance of what a child's normal behavior pattern should be. They want order and control and are responsible for the unschooling movement of trying to prevent a square peg child to fit into a circle hole...

A teacher has the innate ability to make or break a child, but when we keep putting these "bad teachers" in the rotation, by allowing them the advancements of free higher education and more pay, we're cutting our children short on giving them the right to have a better teacher hired instead. Especially when, you have to shuffle a "bad teacher" among different schools and grades because, they can't be fired without jumping through hoops... Again, the children are the only ones who suffer.

In fact, there is no other profession out there that has the potential to harm a child's character or help a child flourish, all at the same time.

With all that, I can't imagine why anyone wouldn't want the greatest of teachers to have everything to motivate them to stay great. The same way a sahm or working mom wants recognition for how important their roles really are. There should be a way to separate these types of teachers... 

But what I want, and I think any parent would want, is for those "bad teachers" to be held accountable. To have them stop being the weak link who give great teachers a bad name. Those teachers who brag about failing kids (newsflash, if a child fails in your class, you're a failure of a teacher, especially in a wealthy district like ours where advantages are high). And those who follow blindly with the herd and the ones who won't created new ideas because it's what they've been doing for years. The ones who embarrass students in front of a crowded classroom. The ones who shame students for not knowing answers. Or, the ones who no longer inspire students, who do not move forward with the times, trends, or interests... Because, I'm pretty sure when parents are taking the Board's side in this argument, this is the image of teacher's they're fighting against. And that's not fair to the ones who truly are wonderful.

And well, I know the administration is to blame on other financials areas that my brain isn't even aware of. But the ones I am aware of are, turfing a baseball field (even professionals don't play on a turf field), installing a top of the line walk way to the parking lot (which will be ripped up to build the new school), and somehow, we pay one of the highest taxes in our area, but yet, there doesn't ever seem to be enough money...

I posted a blog at the end of last year, talking about the perks of our school (Last day of school... ) I still believe all that to be true. And I won't let a few bad apples cloud my opinion of how good this district really is. And when I say that, I'm not talking about our test scores or rankings. I'm talking about its structure and implemented design. Because, I give a lot of the credit of high test scores and rankings to the parents/caregivers. We have one of the highest numbers of stay at home parents and our parents are actively involved on a daily basis with all school functions. So much, that there is a raffle to chaperone field trips... 

Parents are the ones left at the end of the day to teach the information to the children, because somehow, 7 hours a day, just isn't long enough to teach. Somehow, on an elementary level (2nd grade to be exact), students are forced to miss a recess to finish assignments, because for some reason, there isn't enough time. Homework is given, without having time to even touch on the topic, but parents are forced to figure it out and teach it to their children --thanks to google.

Parents deserve a lot of the credit...

We as a community, are tight-knit. Adults still attend sporting events, even though their children graduated in the 90s. Families have raised generations here and still remain here. Everyone knows everybody and kids of past classmates are overlapping once again.

There isn't a need for all this divide. There isn't a need for adults to be bullying each other and acting the same way, we as parents, are trying to prevent our children from acting.

Something obviously needs to change and one of the sides will need to budge. And right now, it doesn't look as if either side will. But like I stated in the post I wrote back in June (Last day of school...), what I fear will happen if they do give in to the teachers, is a lot of the perks that we have and make us stand out from the other districts, will eventually fall to the waste side. -Because, you just cannot get blood from a stone.

And my hope is, those parents who tell me stories about how teachers have mistreated their children and the disrespect they endured -the shaming and demeaning etc, will fight for change within the district. And the teachers who deserve the praise, get a public standing ovation.

For me, I personally do not care how long this strike lasts. I love being home with my child anyways. I love teaching her. I love the idea of unschooling and teaching her through experience. So I will never complain about that... I do feel for the working parents though, and I'm sorry for what you're going through... And, I won't even complain about going to school until June 30th either. But, I will complain and refuse to send my child over Christmas holiday break... Because, I will not allow the district to break up my family traditions and holiday get-together dinners, just to make up days that weren't even my decision to miss in the first place. 

And most importantly, remember parents, your children are always watching and listening to you. They're always going to emulate your modeled behaviors because, they admire you. So keep it kind and civil. And don't worry so much about which side you're on (board or teacher) - it doesn't really matter anyways. Just pick the side of your child... Demand respect for your child... And when you see injustices occurring in your child's life, stand up for them. Don't worry so much about what others will think. Do not care what the teachers will say about you while they're lining up in single file lines outside the main door, one minute before their contractual start time. Don't worry about what they'll say about you while they're locking kids out in the hallways because, they're wearing matching slogan shirts and gabbing about the strike. Don't worry about what they are saying about you, while they're on Facebook during class time, instead of helping your child... 

And don't worry about what the Board will say about you either, because they're trying to keep up public ratings...

Don't worry about any of it...

Because during all this, they're not worrying about you.


*Here's another link I wrote about the strike last year... After our 5 week strike...

That time my daughter sung in front of a crowd...

Since the day my daughter discovered her voice formed understandable words, she hasn't stopped talking. In fact, it was around her first birthday that she begun to memorize a few simple nursery rhymes to add to her language.

My daughter speaking has always filled the quiet air since she was only 5 months old (when dadda first exited her lips). She was determined to add as many words into her vocabulary as her maturing brain would allow. 

And Hooplakidz on YouTube, quickly became her first love.

Eventually, she would sing more than she spoke. And her ability to memorize multiple songs at one time was always impressive to me. But I was/am determined to be a humble mom, so I always kept my daughter's talents on the down-low, in fear of being -"That Mom."

At a later time, Frozen graced our lives and her nursery rhyme songs immediately transferred over to magical Disney princess themed songs. Quickly, she learned every word of each song on our soundtrack and little by little, she started changing her voice to fit the melody of, Let It Go.

At first, I didn't see the talent, because Idina Menzel sings so elegantly and high. My daughter was hitting the notes and sounded great, but it was in a different key. And being only 4-5 years old, I would just praise her for her ability and go about our days.

Since then, she sung Let it Go and Troll's Get Back up Again, in her kindergarten and 1st grade talent shows. It wasn't competitive, so there weren't any winners. And family wasn't allowed to attend because it wasn't a big-to-do. She would tell me it went fine, and that was it.

However, within the past year, she developed a love for America's Got Talent and loves watching these kids make their dreams come true. She started to see how they were able to take a song and make it their own -with their own abilities. Then, our home begun to fill with YouTube karaoke versions of adult songs and her belting out each line, almost perfectly.

When I would hear silence, I sauntered to her bedroom to see what happened. I would stand in her doorway, out of sight, and watch her quietly write down her own songs. She would cross out lines, add new ones, then sing a few lines, and make more adjustments. Her concentration and interest finally sparked a chord in me. I started to take her more seriously. And I helped her with songs and offered different suggestions as well.

Then, a few months ago, in passing, I heard her sing Alicia Keys, Girl on Fire (she heard it from a girl on The Voice Australia). And it finally all clicked. I was blown away. I realized her singing Let It Go didn't make sense, because that isn't her voice style. She doesn't have that choir sound. Instead, she has a soul voice, with a bluesy undertone. It's a signature voice that stands out. And that song emphasized it.

And she not only nailed the chorus, she blew it out of the water for only newly turning 7 years old...

So needless to say, my taking notice just took a front seat. And for her birthday, she was gifted an expensive karaoke machine from her Nana and Poppy.

Now, her aspirations upped to appearing on Ellen and being a famous singer.

But, I battle with privacy... I do on here too. I love to promote my way of parenting and hope my writings are relatable and help others on their parenting journey. But I keep what I can private, like names and locations. That's my balance, and after 3 years, I figured out how to navigate it all while still sharing.

But, to put a video out there, makes me nauseous...

So I constantly delay.

I kept telling her to work on a few things. Thinking, I'd buy more time. But within a day or a week, she'd perfect what I asked. Then, I would offer up something else and she'd blow past that as well --So on and so forth.

Until I eventually said, you should be able to sing the song 10,000 times and it should never sound different each time.

We were at that point...

Then, this past Thursday evening, I checked my daughter's backpack and saw an open mic talent show sheet for our local Harvest Festival. Problem was, it was for the next evening. I paced, wandered, and waded through my thoughts, until I figured I should included my daughter into the process...

She begged and pleaded to do it and assured me she was ready.

Friday morning, I called the person in charge to asses the situation. I didn't want my newly 7 year old involved in some mega catty competition -think, Abby's school of dance.

-They assured me that it was family oriented.

So come Friday, we registered for the open mic.

We didn't have music with us, as this was literally last minute. But the other contestants did. And they ranged from 18 to my daughter's age and they were all in one category.

My daughter started to get nervous, as her time was quickly approaching (as anyone obviously would). She rattled off that she didn't think she could do it, but when they announced her name, a switch went off and she walked to the stage. She asked me to join her, which of course, I obliged. So I sat with my feet dangling off the stage beside her. 

She sung, Girl on Fire, acapella -she stood frozen in one place and barely looked away from me, but as she finished, the crowd cheered and she smiled the biggest smile and proudly walked off.

What a fete!

For her first time ever performing in front of anyone and trying to navigate a mic with surround sound, I was impressed.

And apparently, so were the judges, as they placed her third. The first and second place winners have performed before. And the first place winner was in a local theater group. So, with my daughter placing third among that pedigree, I was impressed again...

And her reward was to perform at the Harvest Festival on Sunday.

The day of, she worked the room, thanking the judges for the opportunity again and again. Many friends and family came out to support her, and the ones who couldn't make it, eagerly waited for the video to be posted on my personal social media.

Right before her performance, she was focused and still. She didn't talk much or move about. She was nervous, yet excited. And anxiously waited to be announced.

Then, right before walking on stage, she has another moment of panic. But this time, she said, "I won't let fear get in the way of my dreams," and took the mic from the stage manager and walked up the six steps to the stage, that overlooked about 50 people (with a crowd of 100+ passerbys in the background).

She announced her name and gave a thumbs up to the sound guy. I sat nervously on the ground in front of her -locking eyes. But when the music started, she didn't need me for comfort. She naturally transformed into someone else, effortlessly. And then, she started to sing. And I heard the random, "wow!" from behind me. And when she belted out the chorus, the crowd cheered -loudly. And the random passerbys, stopped and also cheered. Soon, people were watching and listening. And when she ended, she got a standing ovation.

She may have won third, but she gave a first place performance...

This time, she had stage presence, charm, and worked the crowd. And again, for just turning 7 years old, with no professional lessons, and her first time performing, I was proud. So proud, that I cried like a baby... Even other people cried too. 

It was an awesome experience.

And she told the judges upon exiting that she'll see them again next year, but she's trying for first place.

The best part of this journey wasn't only the process, but also, the conclusion too. Because, as we all continued to talk so much about it, reliving the moment over and over, my daughter was over it. Yes, she was happy, but she was incredibly humble about it. Or, she didn't quite realize how awesome it all was and how big of a step it was for her. Either way, I was not only proud of her performance, but I was also proud of her character. And to me, that makes her more of a star...

And when I figure out how to watermark the video, I might post it on here... So stay tuned :)

And now, she's working on Andra Day's, Rise up.

Mid Week Humor: Netflix binges...

Me: (6:00 pm) Oh my god! I'm soooo tired. I'm not sure how I'm going to make it another minute...
Also me: (1:00 am) Just one more episode. Come on! You aren't a quitter!

The Happy Days Blog

That time my son started preschool...

Well here I am, 3 years later, sitting in front of the same double doors that started it all with my daughter. 

My son started preschool yesterday. In the same building that my daughter did, in the same classroom, and with the same teacher... 

I wrote so many posts on my blog and Instagram about our past journey, because the transition for her was difficult. But, I continued with my peaceful parenting ways and never lost sight of my child's needs the entire time. And, I'm grateful for this preschool and the staff because, they allow me to parent my way... And I firmly believe, the gentle process helped form my daughter's love for school. And, even though she sometimes still cries when she leaves me, she immensely enjoys her day after the initial separation. Whereas, if she was peeled from me and left to cry to some stranger, she still wouldn't be so quick to leave all these years later... 

But yesterday I learned something... 

I learned, that my son isn't my daughter. And yesterday was such an easy transition, so easy in fact, that I was waiting for the other foot to drop. I sat in that empty parking lot, waiting for my phone to ring. Waiting to hear they needed me to comfort my crying son... And weirdly, I felt more unprepared for him doing great versus him having trouble. 

I called the school during the half-way mark, while I was still in the parking lot, because my anxiety was getting the better of me. The staff said, he was doing amazing, and was maybe even more social than my daughter... I was speechless...

But even after that phone call, and as the time slowly crept past, I kept thinking, he has to be crying by now, right? 

Well, when the 2.5 hrs were up, I was the first through those doors. By this time, my brain was playing out multiple negative scenarios... 

I felt like I was locked away from my child long enough and I was dying to see his face. Was he sad? Nervous? Confused? 

The classroom door opened and we locked eyes. 

And, he smiled the biggest smile and was so excited to see me. But even better, he said, he had so much fun and couldn't wait to go back!

I hugged him extra long and sung my praises...

What I also wasn't prepared for, was the conversation that unfolded in my backseat when we picked up my daughter... She was just as excited to hear about his day, as he was in telling her. 

She acted like a mother, softly hugging him, and telling him how proud she was for him.

They talked the whole way home about what they each learned and what they were going to learn. She talked about the fun things they would be doing in his school throughout the year and he can't wait.

It was like they were in their own secret club...

As the second day is preparing to play out, I still continue to be a little cautious with this whole situation. But, this school year has already thrown me off, by my daughter easily walking through her own set of doors without a single tear yet. 

It seemed both children miraculously aged within a week and it's a little difficult for my brain to keep up... 

I'm just hoping my son continues to love school, even after he finally figures out that he has to go continuously until May... And I'm hoping my daughter doesn't breakdown after the teachers go on strike again in just two short weeks...

But time will tell and I can't do anything to control those possible situations. All I can do is, reassure my children that they're doing great and how proud I am of them. And how brave they are to be actively involved in uncomfortable situations and are rocking it, like a boss...

... And thankfully, I have nothing but time to help them :) 

**If you want to read those posts about my daughter's preschool journey. Go to my blog's main page, on web version, and search the blog archive in the right side column. They will be under September 2014 until May 2015.**

*Here is one of the posts about my daughter...

I will never be THAT parent...

That time I went to the beach and it was easier...

I could remember my first beach trip as a mom. I was almost 7 months pregnant with my son and my daughter had just turned 2 years old the week prior. There was a lot of down time and there also was a lot of walking back and forth from the pool to the ocean, because she couldn't decide which she liked better. I had to carry her over the hot pavement and across the mile long sand to the ocean waters. And then, we sat in the surf, as the waves crashed around us. Thankfully, she didn't want to travel any further out.

The next year, my son was only 8 months old and cut his first tooth -of course he did... There was a lot of crying during the day and the vast majority of my night was spent walking up and down the alley of the motel, so my daughter could sleep. My son also hated the sand and cried as soon as it touched him. And he wanted nothing to do with the ocean or pool.

There was also a year when, our car's air condition broke during the 5 hour drive down to the beach, in 98 degree temperatures. 

And another year, when we attempted to play mini golf and my son tried to swim in the murky water and my daughter tried to climb the windmill.

*Don't get me wrong, there were definitely great moments. Like, when my daughter learned how to boogie board for the first time. Or when we couldn't get my son off the sand, once he loved it... But for purposes of this article, we're going with the negative ;)

As a mom, I'm guilty of looking backwards towards the nostalgia of when my children were babies. There's an odd craving to keep our children young and their need for us, strong.

And for how many times I do look back at these photos and think, wow, I miss them being so little. I'm also struck with the realization of how wonderful it is to experience each new stage with them, as they get older. That the prior beach trips were filled with tears and their attention spans of gnats. And that, with each passing year they age, they age to a cooler, more adult-like person.

This is the first trip where we didn't have any tears or short attention spans... It was effortless and dare I say, relaxing? It reminded me of one of those stories you hear from a friend's cousin's brother's uncle... Never first hand.

My children are newly 7 years old and almost 5 years old and we spent the majority of this beach trip thrashing through the waves and boogie boarding in the ocean for hours. We sat on the balcony and talked. Colored. Played cards. We walked parts of the boardwalk and window shopped. We laughed more than ever. And swam in the pool when the sun dipped below the earth.

I've written about every beach trip since 2013 on this blog (You can search them by viewing the right side column of my blog and searching the month of August under each corresponding year). And each year, I always wrote about the chaos and the stresses. Then as usual, I put a positive spin on it all. But I always concluded with saying, one day, the chaos will all be over...
... Of course, in the moment, you never think it will. In the moment, you can never imagine a time when you won't be carrying your crying child or rocking a baby to sleep or begging your child to sit 2 minutes longer in a restaurant, while you shovel food down your throat like it's the end of the world. 

In the moment, it feels like you're caught in a spin cycle and can't get out...

But then one day, you do...

And you don't realize it happened until you have something to compare it to.

Like me, with this beach trip. This was the first year that I didn't feel like I needed a vacation from my vacation. I had fun WITH my children, instead of around them. And the most monumental moment was, my children slept in until 10:30 am. One of the days, I actually woke up earlier than them and sat on the balcony with my coffee and was unsure what to do with myself.

But my main message of this post to all you mamas out there reading this and doubting the infamous family vacation is, always take the vacation... Sure, it might be hard. But, you'll also have great memories. Some good, some bad, but memories to share later in life nonetheless. Then one day, it will all click and it will be easy and fun. And each year following, it will be easier and easier until eventually, they're with their friends and you and your spouse are sitting alone on the beach. And you'll watch all those new parents with frustration written all over their faces and you'll silently reminisce to your earlier days at the beach with your little ones. And you'll miss it. You'll miss it hard. And you'll immediately want to do it all over again, even knowing the tough moments, just to be part of it one more time.

Because, you only have these short times with them. And, we're only the center of their universe for a blip in time. And, when it's over, it's over. And you can't go back...

And even though I thoroughly enjoyed this trip and look forward to the following years to come, a part of me was saddened by the lack of consistency. Like, a chapter of their lives is now over...

So, create the memories, cry with the frustration and tiredness, laugh at the awkward tantrums, and enjoy the measly 5% of good moments when they're young. But remember, it all changes so quickly... And, that might be the last tantrum you see. Or, the last inconvenient nap taken. Or, the last time you'll carry your child across the sand. Or, the last time they'll ride the baby rides on the boardwalk, that were in the hottest building ever, while they're on their 15th go around...

Enjoy it all...