And considering this is only the second time in 6 years, that she has been sick enough to stop the world around us, I'd say, we're on a good streak.
Monday and Tuesday, she was off of school with a sore belly and just wasn't feeling well. But on Wednesday, when I picked her up from school, her eyes looked tired and she wasn't her typical bouncy self. Within an hour after being home, she was noticeably ill and fell asleep by 6:00 pm... And when she woke back up at 9:00 pm, she had a fever.
Over the past 2 days, her fever has been up and down. She's very responsible for her age and she understands, that she must stay hydrated and continue to eat lots of fruits and veggies.
Which she did, effortlessly.
However, Thursday, she easily fell asleep for the night around 8:00 pm and stayed next to me, while she snored peacefully away. When my children are sick, I always keep them next to me, both day and night, so I can make sure everything is going ok.
You really didn't expect much differently from me... Did you? (lol)
Then suddenly, in my 35 years of existence, I felt an immense fear that I have never even slightly experienced...
My daughter woke up around 9:30 pm, very incoherent, which didn't surprise me at first because, that sometimes happens with fevers. I spoke with her and asked her questions about the upcoming holidays and holidays that passed (things like that). She answered them correctly and started randomly talking about how she cannot wait for when she's a teenager... I took her temperature and it was only 100 degrees. And I kept my calm reassuring demeanor and hugged her while we spoke. One minute she would say something logical, then the next, something off the wall... But then, out of nowhere, she had a blank stare and asked where her daddy was. Who was sitting right next to her. Then she got nervous and asked where I went... I was right in front of her... Her daddy tried to hug her, but she didn't seem to recognize him...
My heart literally fell out of my chest and I panicked, as I stood up and clicked on every single light in the room. She continued to look disheveled and said everything was blurry and she felt different and confused.
I contemplated calling 911, because I wasn't sure what was happening... But I also didn't want to be one of those over exaggerating mothers either.
When about 5 minutes passed and her behavior wasn't changing, I decided to call my parent's to meet me at the hospital. While, my husband stayed home with our son. But instead, they met me at my house and drove my frantic self, up. Then, my husband's father came to our house to watch my son and my husband met us up there afterwards.
In the 3-4 minutes it took for my parents to arrive, I paced the floor of my back living room with my little girl dangling in my arms. She leaned her head tightly against my neck and periodically, talked coherently. I told her how proud I was of her and how brave she was being. And, she cried into my shoulder saying, how scared she was to go to the emergency room.
In those minutes, I questioned if I would ever see my little girl again. If she would be the same girl I've known all this time, or if she would come home, a different child...
At triage, my daughter was still having difficulty seeing, but was able to see more shapes and figures around her. She stayed clung to me in my arms, confused and scared. Basically, the same emotions I felt on the inside, as I screamed and cried soundlessly.
Her doctor was wonderful, cracking jokes and making her laugh. By this time, she was back to herself, except for this odd blank, glassy, look in her eyes.
We sat on the bed in the hallway of an over packed ER. She rested her body on the side of the rolly bed and I sat on the floor in front of her. I stared forever into her eyes, grateful for her... Loving her...
The tests all came back normal. She just has a viral infection with a high fever. And the odd experience was probably caused by a weird glitch in her body. The doctor said, it wasn't the weirdest thing he's ever heard and our doctor also confirmed too.
But for me, I was just overwhelmed with gratitude that everything turned out fine. That I was lucky enough to only experience a reversible situation for a short amount of time. And, how many other parents aren't lucky enough. How, one moment can change someones entire life, so quickly.
So, when we arrived back home, I carried my sleeping girl through our doors. I sat on the couch for what felt like hours, as I cradled her in my arms, just like I once did when she was a baby. I rocked her back and forth and sung the same nursery rhyme melody, that I used to sing during her colicky hours.
Then, I laid her in my bed, close to me and snuggled next to her for the rest of the night... During the sleepless night, she would occasionally reach for me and our hands would clasp and I stroked her head...
Loving and appreciating every moment of cosleeping, that I once was so eager to change.
You truly don't realize how much time has passed and how much you miss the little things, until they are no longer there. And it's times like these, I'm incredibly grateful for the life I lead... How I'm able to solely focus all my attention on my children and never miss a moment of their lives...
Because each moment of my life, is so incredibly full...
And I'm grateful that my little girl is back to herself and doesn't remember much about last night... She is still sick with a fever, but is functioning perfectly...
And, is cuddled tightly in my arms, until she is fully better...
And of course, forever after that...
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