To not fit into one box

It's hard for me to imagine my daughter fitting into one mold. To have her adhere to unreal standards that are difficult for a child of her age. Ones that require robotic, schedule oriented methodology.

My daughter is active. That's a nice word for saying she talks and moves around a lot -I hate the word hyper, as that implies negative energy. She's like her mama, in that she gets bored easily, and not in a bad way either. She's just constantly striving to improve on skills and is determined to make something out of herself -a commendable skill.

She's not your typical child.

She interprets information differently than others of her age -she's an old soul. She relishes in simplicity and doesn't miss a beat. For example, she loves princesses, and not because of the tea parties and dresses, she loves them because of their deeper meaning. She's able to dissect each movie and point out what Mr. Disney was implying. She likes "how the dwarfs take in Snow White and care for her" as she cares for them. She likes "how Cinderella is still nice to her step mother and step sisters even though they are mean to her" and Cinderella's incredible love for animals. "How Belle still sees the beauty in the beast and isn't scared by him." 

By the way, my daughter isn't even 4 yet. 

Her mindset makes me sad that she has to be released from the shelter and safety of her home into the cruel, real world. Her mentality doesn't allow her to see evil in people, she doesn't understand when someone is being mean or mocking her. That's because she believes everyone is her friend and is kind. It'll be a sad day when that is no longer a reality.

As a parent, I would love to keep her in a bubble -away from harm. Because everyone being respectful to each other should be a reality, not a fantasy.

She sees things that an ordinary person would overlook. When I'm driving the same road every day, my eyes are focused forward, to get to the destination, ignoring the structures and objects that don't pertain to me. However, she's in the backseat, stopping to view every site. Everything is beautiful to her, as should they be, and she'll notice the details that I overlook...

The color of the flowers.

The scent of the air.

The direction the birds are flying (and their color).

How many mountains are in view.

How a decrepit house had beautiful windows, or a nice color exterior.

How the rocks are stacked.

How the green grass appears to go on forever.

Everything, is beautiful to her... 

I would love for her to be this way forever. 
To never become jaded and hardened to fit in this world. Instead, I would love for her to be soft and help soften the world. 

To be her own individual...

And never be bullied into being like all the other children.

Children have the ability to start from scratch. They aren't born with evil, vindictive personalities, those are acquired through learning. Every child is a new beginning to make a change in this world. To help establish appropriate morals, values, and ethics.

To not fit into one box. 

I personally take the time to teach my children these good traits. To appreciate all life has to offer, whether big or small. To be respectful in every aspect and to mind their manners -and no one is beneath them, not even insects. 

If people started to accept everyone for who they are and not try to fit everyone into a certain box, then we would be more kind individuals. If someone where to label my daughter as hyper, because she doesn't fit the trend, then they would miss all the wonderful things she has to offer. Seeing that everyone has something important to share. But, when someone is pushed to believe and follow the trend, then you miss the opportunity to see it. And it might be a world changing event.

Mid Week Revelation: You have ears

My daughter says 9 million words a day... It's hard to listen to every single one she says, especially when I'm trying to have an important conversation with my husband. I paused and told her, "give mommy and daddy a second, because we can't hear you right now while we're talking." She responds with, "but you have ears and you could listen out of them." Touche kiddo... Touche.

Weekend festivities

Saturday we spent the evening at my husband's big family gathering. All of his dad's side was there, even the out of towners stopped in -crashing at people's houses. It was an all weekend party with events scheduled at certain houses, occurring at different times. Saturday evening was hosted at my husband's aunt's house. This was a very significant party, as it was the first time everyone was together after my husband's uncle had passed. 

However, the mood was calm, with cheerful conversations. Children laughing in the background -Or crying, as the evening turned late. People of all ages sat around the fire and shared stories of how different the party was without the Patriarch sitting at the head. He wasn't there to tell jokes, be sarcastic, or see all the kids and how much they have grown.

It brought a somber mood, as reflection appeared to be the main objective. But the energy was eventually uplifted with the positive memories that were being summoned. 

There was an incredible amount of people there to shift your mind to something else. So many out of town family members telling their life stories -updating everyone.

An event like this had to be documented. So they hired a photographer. Something that had me stressing about since before we arrived. 

In my mind, how was a professional photographer supposed to take a picture of about 50 people? With a big amount being young children. 

Well, I'm not sure I know the answer to that. But somehow it happened. 

When the photographs were being taken, everyone herded their children into place -with most of the 3 year old's screaming bloody murder, mine included. The adults behind the camera were jumping around like fools in every attempt to make these children smile... Some worked, others not so much. At one point, I had to hold both of my kiddos on my shoulder/arm and hide behind the bigger kids, when they wanted a group photo of the youngest generation -Of course, my children wouldn't cooperate and that forced me to hide in the background, while reassuring my kiddos that I was right there... 

They still cried.

Somehow, even with all the hysterics, the silver lining is that these are memories being made. Memories are being created with family and eventually my children will grow and crying won't be an issue anymore, hopefully -and at least I'll have this time on record.

When you have a huge gathering of family, different generations of all ages, the background noise is random. Just sitting on the step listening, you hear funny conversations, happy ones about pasts, new ones about milestones, and future ones about longing. You also hear the toddlers crying about not getting the proper color glow sticks, or not the same amount of marshmallows as the other kid, or the fact that their standing, instead of sitting. 

That's the change now-a-days as parent's of young children. BBQs and gatherings are not a social event for us. When you look around, you see the parent's of older children (who paid their dues) sitting contently and chatting the time away. My husband and I weren't able to have a conversation with family. I wasn't able to chat about all the good things in life. At one point, I attempted to eat a plate of food -The horror, I know. My daughter was off playing with her cousins that were the same age and I strapped my son in the Ergo on my back. That allowed me the opportunity to eat standing up -and very quickly, as he was whining because he wanted to get down to play on the steps. He didn't even want to play with the kids, he just wanted to walk up and down the steps for infinity. 

The closing of the night was easy, as both of my kiddos were exhausted. I dressed them in their jammies and we said our goodbyes to all of our loved ones. Thankfully, we'll see them Sunday for a brunch at my in-laws house and we'll continue the last day of the weekend. 

My kiddos get one more opportunity to play with their cousins.

The car ride home was peaceful as both kids didn't say much. My daughter held tightly onto Curly Shirley and her sheet, while my son snuggled into his blanket and dog. The bright, round moon shined through the back windows allowing just enough light to skim their faces. My daughter's only spoken words were that she couldn't wait to see her cousin's again, as she had so much fun with them.

That is what this weekend was all about...

Family.

To have these children know who their family is and have them all meet. To have all the adults chat about the best parts of their day and to keep our chaotic lives as positive as possible.

To attempt to slow down our busy lives and congregate in one location.

Hopefully, this will be a constant. Hopefully, we'll have this as an annual event. So our uncle can watch from up above. So he can see how well all the family meshes and how much all the children have grown over the years. 

So this yearly event can put a smile on his face and keep his memory alive with everyone.

Because that is what life is all about... Family, even the ones that are no longer with us, but alive in our hearts.

Mid Week Revelation: The mind of a 19 month old

You sometimes have to giggle at the mind of a 19 month old... My son and I were looking at a picture book and we stumbled upon a picture of a wagon. Within seconds, he was signing the emotion excited, and his whining started to increase -Then it dawned on me what was happening and I said, "no silly, you can't ride that." To which he immediately deflated and said his famous "oh" word -Silly boy was actually considering his ability to ride it.

Everyday love

Laughs and belly laughs…

Giggles and snorts…

And utter silliness…

Conversations being had…

Conversations being heard…

Stories being read, stories being told…

Hugs and cuddles…

Snuggles and love…

With too many kisses…

There isn’t anything I love more than hearing these sounds… Living this life. My body stands still with the outside world whizzing past me. Time is obsolete. My time is different from others. My time as a stay at home mom is measured by the happiness of my children, not by what people tell me.

This is my identity.

My job doesn’t pay in money… It pays in hugs.

My annual report is determined how my children act and behave. When someone hands them something and they say “thank you” without any cues.  Or, when they say excuse me while walking past a group of people (or attempting to squeeze through). It’s measured by how they act in society and how much love they will bring into this world.

My time was well spent when I see my children content.

When they know mommy will move mountains to make them happy and fix anything they need.  Or, when they never have to second guess if I’ll be there to support them.

My life is complete when I know they are secure, not financially, but with comfort and love.

When they realize that no one will have their best interest like family. That mommy and daddy will always be in their corner and their sibling relationship will be their foundation for friendships to come. Luckily, my kiddo's bond is growing daily. My daughter is so eager to tell her brother all about the world, and he’s hungry to eat it all up.

My days are filled with this background noise -The sounds of two children enjoying life and each other. These two kiddos are learning how to share, play, and imagine with more than one person. They are learning life lessons by doing this simple task of participating in each other’s lives. They are learning how to be soft-hearted individuals due to not having to fight their way through the family tree.

I could sit in my chair, drinking my cups of coffee, and enjoy every second of these blissful sounds for a thousand years. I’m not sure when it will all end, but I know it’s just starting.

Mid Week Revelation: The secret pact

Apparently my two kiddos have a secret pact to slowly wear me down in time for their teenage years... When my son is doing his whining dance, the next second (almost perfectly timed), my daughter then has to ask me 5 million questions in rapid sequencing -while the whining is still occurring -making a static/white noise sound in my brain . These two are going to make a genius team when they are older.

Apparently, quietness has a different meaning for each child

Quietness… Such a calming word. When I think of the word, I picture Snow White singing in the forest with all the woodland creatures dancing alongside her (without sound, just the image). The sun is blotchy through the thick trees and thousands of flowers blanket the ground -I don’t know why that is the peaceful image displaying in my brain, but it is.

When my daughter was younger, the word quiet didn’t mean the same thing it does now with my son. It usually meant she was reading, coloring, or playing. She never bothered anything she wasn’t supposed to. She stayed to herself and never needed child proofing. Even if she ever touched anything that she wasn’t supposed to, it was done with precision and fragile hands.

My son on the other hand has taken the word quiet to its literal, parenting form. You know the concept, “if my child is quiet, he or she is up to no good.”

The other day, my daughter and I were washing dishes while my son was in the playroom. He eventually left, walking into the living room, out of sight. I assumed he was getting his big wheel to ride (that’s where they are usually parked). After about a minute of not hearing a sound, my daughter turns to me and said, “what do you think brother is up to?” I stopped in my tracks, placing down a toweled dried plate, to walk into the room after him (my daughter shadowing my steps).

Luckily, what I found was not only adorable, but hilarious.

I walked in to find my son standing in front of the record player, with all the children’s records out of their sleeves and scattered on the floor at his feet. Hearing me enter, in one motion, he drops the current record from his hand onto the player and turns to me with a smirk (keeping his hands extended in front of him). As if he was saying, “I don’t know how this all happened?”

Knowing he isn’t allowed to touch the player or records, he runs past me saying “bye bye,” waving, at top speed. After internally laughing and my daughter saying, "what a silly brother," my daughter and I help pick up the mess and looped on repeat her favorite Snow White record –as we mocked danced to the music.

My son eventually re-entered the room, he can’t pass up dancing –especially with his momma and sister.

I’m apparently a slow learner, or I’m still riding high in the blissfulness of my daughter’s well behaved personality, but it takes me a few seconds to realize when my son is quiet, he’s into something he shouldn’t be. Thankfully, my house is child-proofed and rarely he's out of sight, so he can’t harm himself in anyway. But even in sight, tables get climbed, records get scattered, and his sister’s leap pad gets played with (usually hiding behind a chair).

Having a boy has been quite an eventful journey thus far. On one end, he’s not your typical boy. He’s very gentle, nonabrasive, and cuddly. He plays with dolls more than my daughter ever has and he’s very cautious. However, when it comes to getting into everything and climbing on anything he can, he is all boy.

But as time continues to pass, I’m curious to see if his personality will change or modify to fit his life at that moment. To see if his soft side turns rugged, or his mischievous side turns obedient. Either way, I’m enjoying having the contrast to my daughter. It adds adventures to my otherwise vanilla day.