A special Mother's Day

For the past 5 years, I haven't really celebrated Mother's Day. Not because I didn't want to, but because there was always something going on. Whether it was my husband and I going through one of our many "not talking" bits, or, the day just seemed like any other day to me. Mother's Day never felt like it was special or it was something to celebrate. Heck, every day in my home is "mother's day" -- "mom, can you get me more fruit?" "mom, can I have more juice?" "mom, where are my crayons?" 

I would try to build up the day in my head, only to be deflated by the reality. Though, I could always count on my daughter to hand me a card that she made all by herself, because she "loved me so much" and I was the "best momma ever." But my husband never took the time to plan something for us to do, or involve the children with the day.

But this year was different. 

This year, it seems like all the stars were aligned. It seems like I finally have life running in a groove where I don't become as easily frazzled or feel like I'm all alone in this parenting journey. Life feels picture perfect and precise in my soul. And for once, my husband is now a bigger part of our everyday, not just an extra body in the home for decoration.  

This year, my husband and I have finally choreographed our own dance in life. After an inconsistent 5 year stint, we effectively figured out how to be happy together in this role as parents. We both have always gotten along perfectly as husband and wife, but we couldn't seem to meet halfway with our parenting. Our parenting is just so different, which is weird, because we're not very different. As all you readers know, I'm more a hands on parent, with my helicoptering ways. Whereas, he is much more of a parent who conducts from the couch. His famous words were, "oh they're fine." And that always pierced through me like a sword. 

With that, this year on Mother's Day, my husband helped our children create beautiful cards... They were filled with stickers, glitter, and heartfelt words -and my daughter's own handwriting and my son's own scribbles. They were so eager to place them right beside me, as they woke me up in the morning. Their faces were plastered with ear to ear smiles and I couldn't wait to hug their little bodies and squeeze them tightly, while telling them how lucky I am to be their momma.

Those cards now have a permanent home hanging front and center on my fridge for the world to see...

Oh, and my children were also fed breakfast by their dad before I woke up... He also bought me birkenstock sandals that I pined after for years. Included with that, was a diffuser and an essential oil named, Happy Days. I know, it was pretty sweet and a neat play on words. 

That was only just the morning. In the afternoon, we were lucky enough to finally have a warm, clear blue day, where we spent it at a local park with my husband's family. Included was, my husband's dad, his wife, my husband's sister and her kids, and my husband's step sisters and one of the step sister's family. (All the grandkids are approximately in the same age group). At the pavilion area, we created an old fashion fun day. We played wiffle ball, kick ball, and volley ball. And we did three legged races, egg tosses, and egg on a spoon races. We even built sand castles and went on a scavenger hunt. 

The children had an incredible time just being one with the outdoors. And I loved watching them, while being surrounded by family.

We ate our food on a blanket in the grass and let the sun kiss our yearning bodies. The air around was peaceful and the wind whipped through the trees. But as life would have it, the title of Mother's Day didn't stop my son from being a 3 year old. And let's face it, sometimes, it's tough being a 3 year old. My daughter was off playing with her cousins, while my son tantrumed about wanting to go home. For no reason that a rational person could think of, but perfectly rational for him. He cried, I cuddled, he cried some more, and I loved him some more. After awhile, he settled down, just about the time frame when I wanted to drive away by myself and try my luck as gypsy, instead of this motherhood gig. 

But the day ended the way it was meant to, with everyone smiling and happy and enjoying the company of loving family members. My son eventually joined the crowd and played a round or two of wiffle ball -and even helped his sister tackle his older cousin for the ball and chased him around. Nevertheless, this day will go down in the books as one of the better family fun filled days we had in a long time. And not only was my Mother's Day incredibly special this year, but it felt completely natural, like the way every Mother's Day should be.

And it's not about the gifts I received, but more about the appreciation my husband showed for me on this day. His actions illustrated his respect for me as the mother of his children. Something, I think he took for granted the years prior. This year, he built up the day, talked about it, and by him taking charge and capturing the day, that allowed my children to celebrate with me. That is the memory I'm taking away from this Mother's Day.


I hope all you readers had a very special Mother's Day too! 


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American Ninja Warrior; the 5 year old...

Three years have passed since my daughter first laid her eyes on the television show, American Ninja Warrior (ANW). This was before Kacy became a viral sensation and every girl's inspiration, and before ANW was a household name. I actually believe that was the first season that didn't have a daytime running course in what looked like, a parking lot behind some grocery store. To her, watching this show is like watching any other sport on TV. She diligently watches each contender run the course and fantasizes about one day, running beside them. Ever since that first episode, she's been consistent with saying, she wants to be an American Ninja Warrior when she's older --and a school teacher, but that's another story. 

Since then, she creates obstacle courses at every playground she attends. She pretends she's herself, then uses an announcer's voice to state what she'll be doing and gives a play by play as she glides through her designed course. On any given day, she'll tackle anything and everything climbable in her path... That part makes me cringe more times than not. 

She watches the show on her kindle and on our saved DVR. I would venture to say, it's equivalent to a football player studying game films before walking out onto the field. 

I have to say, the American Ninja Warrior community is a very humble and kind community. I've reached out over social media a few times to some of the big "stars" and they all have been gracious with communicating back. Which to my daughter, makes her vision seem more like a reality and makes her feel incredibly special too.

When I listened to her end of the year kindergarten program speech, where she said she wanted to be a school teacher and an American Ninja Warrior when she's older, I believed her. I believe that my feisty 5 year old will accomplish anything she puts her mind to. Heck, I see evidence of that daily in our lives. However, based on what I see, I'm thinking a lawyer may be a better fit for her future, rather than a teacher. 

But, I'm sure her professional career idea may change several times over, but I don't think being an ANW will. Although, it may take a back seat to different love interests throughout her teen years and typical behaviors of that age group. But, I'm patiently waiting to see if that day actually does come and if her original interest that was sparked at just 2 years old becomes reality. 

Because... How neat will that be?

Mid Week Humor: Is it possible for toddlers to stay dressed?

I think it's nearly impossible to dress a toddler ahead of time and expect every article of clothing to still be on when it's time to walk out the door... Motherhood. 

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An illness strikes with a vengeance

I'd like to think it's our outdoor lifestyle and lack of processed foods that keeps our family healthy and strong. But, even with the best of diets and overload of fresh air, every now and then, we all succumb to an illness. This past weekend/early week, a stomach virus ripped through our home with a vengeance. Every one of us was laid up and hunkered down in my king sized bed, wishing the days away. But, thank goodness for kindles and recorded DVR shows and family, to get us through the duration. Now that my daughter is back in school, my husband is back at work, and I sit at home staring bleakly at the mounds of laundry and left over cups and plates scattered throughout the house, I want to hop back in this bed and wish the days away all over again...

So much change in such a short time

I awoke this morning with my daughter pouncing on my bed, shrieking, "it's my program day!" Yes, today was her kindergarten end of the year program...

We have been hearing these songs for weeks now and even my son knows most of them by heart. Last night, I felt like it was the first day of school all over again. I sat bedside, stroking her hair, as she asked me what to expect from the show. She asked questions like, would there be a lot of people? Or, what happens if she cried? I answered her various questions the best way I knew how and told her that even if she cried, I would be so proud of all the hard work she put into the show and nothing would disappoint me.

All her family was there waiting, as she walked in the single file line with her classmates into the stuffy gym. Her daddy, brother, myself, my parents (nana and poppy) and my husband's dad and step mother (grandma and grandpa) were all in the front row cheering her on. I sat, almost direct center, with my video camera in hand, as she profusely waved to us. She sung and performed her heart out, without a single tear to be present. I, however, had a few tears when I saw how much she was enjoying herself. She did also occasionally yell out to her brother and wave to us during the show, and I must say, that was the part I loved most.

She closed out the program by saying her name loudly through the microphone and that she liked school and American Ninja Warrior, which one day, I hope plays on her audition tape when she applies to the show.

Upon conclusion, she leaped into my arms and proclaimed her happiness for participating. I hugged her long, dangling body as I kissed her rosy cheeks. The program was over and with it, a piece of my heart. I breathed in the moment... Another milestone has been completed and another chapter ended.

It's hard to imagine kindergarten coming to an end. I feel as if it just begun. I remember her first day jitters and me snuggled up beside her the night before. She wanted me to tell her all about kindergarten and what would her days be like. She had her favorite outfit picked out and already posed in it a few dozen times. She packed and repacked her book bag, making sure everything was just right.

These days passed without warning. Our drop off and pick ups were just a blur of repetitive motions, filled with lots of hugs and kisses. Although, it seemed she never really was ok with being away, but handled it with such grace. Some days, she would hold onto our hug a little longer and walk towards the door with tears in her eyes. And, I would hang back in the parking lot just in case she needed me, with my heart in my hand, shattered into a million pieces. But by the time pick up happened, her face was covered in smiles and she was so eager to tell me about all the fun she had. Then, as I buckled her into her car seat, with her bombarding my ear with story after story, I was able to gently fix all my shattered pieces... 

With just 7 more weeks remaining, I see the wear of the school year on her folder and backpack. Her lunch box has been permanently dyed from various fruits that she left the lids off of. Her Frozen folder has been thickly taped around the edges to keep from fraying. But she never wanted a new one because it was her favorite. The wear on her school materials mimics the wear on my soul. Watching and seeing her go through so many emotions, good and bad, ages me more than time can ever do.

This year was not only an emotional roller coaster with milestones and separations, but also included such growth and maturity. I love seeing how proud she is now that she can read almost everything that her eyes can see. Learning to read has opened a completely new chapter in her life and has transformed the way she previously knew how to play. Play now consists of sitting on her bedroom floor and reading various books to her "pretend" students and leaving me love notes beside my pillow. When I watch all this unfold, I no longer see a baby or toddler, but instead, a little girl with enough sass and courage to take on the world. However underneath, I still see a little girl who will always need her momma, even when she tells me to stop giving her kisses so she could walk inside with her friends.

So much change in such a short time.

But I'm assuming this is what every adult who has raised children is talking about when they say, "enjoy these years because they'll be over in the blink of an eye"... They're talking about these chaotic years, the years where you don't even know what day of the week it is and the years where you spend more time doubting yourself than you ever have. These years, that pass at an alarming rate. These are the years that provide the most change in such a short time frame. 

So many milestones are shoved into the first 0-6 years and it's no wonder parents are so emotional with either trying to hold onto moments or wishing them away...  

But as long as change is happening, it means we're all evolving and moving forward. And as parents, that is what we want for our children. We want them to take the positive messages from school and be strong enough prevail over the daily blunders... When they grow in that direction, it then becomes a little easier for us to slowly release the rope that is tightly wound around and linking our hearts and provide them with more freedom... And that is something to celebrate.

The good old days?

There's an opening quote from a beloved 80's/90's TV show that I love because it speaks true to my soul. It's a staple mark that I try to visualize while family rearing in today's world.

"Whatever happened to predictability. The milkman, the paperboy, evening TV? You miss your old familiar friends, waiting just around the bend..." -Full House

I am a lover of all things vintage and "the good old days" of family dinners around a table, no technology to separate human contact, and a stay at home mom waiting at the doorstep when you arrived through your door. When life was as simple as playing outdoors and riding a bike without a destination in mind. Saying hi to all your neighbors and knowing the entire family generations who lived in the homes around you. When life was just about you and your loved ones, and not about what materialistic objects you can attain. When you didn't feel obligated to "keep up with the Jones."  

I was incredibly lucky to have the opportunity to grow up in a neighborhood in the late 80's/early 90's that still mimicked Andy Griffith's Mayberry. We lived on the same street that my grandmother and mother were born on. My extended family still lived within a few block radius and all the neighbors were the same people my grandmother grew up with. Everyone watched out for other people's children and we ran through random backyards, played baseball, and some wicked games of hide and go seek. I remember stopping many times to help an older person unload their groceries in between my bike riding and I remember a neighbor walking me back home when I fell off my bike. Or our neighbor across the street always had popsicles in their freezer, just in case we wanted some.

These are some of the experiences my children will never have. They'll never know the freedom of not talking on the phone, but just walking or riding a bike to your friends house instead. Playing outdoors blocks away from your home until the street lights turn on. Or the always favorite, leaving your home right after breakfast and not coming back until dinner...

I couldn't imagine even letting my children leave the house without me in their teenage years, let alone my 5 year old daughter playing on the next street without me being present. Not because I'm a hovering parenting (I am that, but that isn't my point), but because it's just not the same world nowadays. 

With all that said, I must say, there are some pros to growing up in this age. While my children won't have the safety freedom of roaming the outdoors and their life is bombarded with technology and everything is telling them to be an adult too soon. In return, they have a more non judgemental world to bask in. In today's world, people are more open and respectful of others in all shapes and sizes (physically, mentally, and emotionally). Something that generations back didn't have. People expected you to be what society thought you should be. Children followed the trades of their parents and every girl aspired to be a mother and a housewife. Women had a role and a place, and now, one is running for president.

This new generation is paving the way for people of all walks of life to be normalized. Mental illness isn't a closed door conversation, the word, Transgender, can be mentioned at the dinner table, and being gay, isn't something to hide  -Unfortunately, I realize this is not like this everywhere, but the fact that it's being covered by major broadcast companies, TV programs, social media, and it's on your TV for the 6:00 news, is a big deal. 

Also, I know when my parent's went to school (1950s), corporal punishment was an everyday thing, even at home. If the teacher hit them, their parent's would too, and the parent didn't even want to hear an explanation or the child's story. Children didn't have a place in society, except to be seen and not heard. So, I must say, I was shocked when I saw that viral post circulating about the child getting paddled in Georgia. I thought we were past that as a whole and I'm flabbergasted that this is still an issue in today's world. It amazes me that children are the only ones you can spank, but in turn, are the most emotionally affected. You can't even hit another adult without proving you were being attacked. But yet, the barbaric message of fear unfortunately still prevails in some parts. 

Here's a random funny story about me attending kindergarten down south in the mid 1980s... I was being dragged down the hall by my teacher towards the principals office to be paddled because I was talking too much (that's not shocking for people who know me in real life). We were from the North, so I had a strong northern accent that they told me to stop using as well (hilarious, I know). Another parent called my parents to notify them what was happening (because obviously, they weren't going to notify them even though my parent's signed the waiver that I wasn't allowed to be paddled). While I waited on the chair for my punishment (hysterically crying), my mom busted through the door (literally), like it was out of a movie. She got in the principal's face and said if you touch my daughter, I'll show up to your house when you least expect it and beat your ass and see how you enjoy it... Needless to say, I was pulled from school that day and we moved back north where kindergarten wasn't mandatory. And I'm grateful that I didn't have that traumatic incident forever branded into my brain cells. But, I feel sorry for the children who's parents didn't go all God Father on the principal. 

See, I was raised in a gentle/peaceful parenting household before it was labeled as such. My parent's always listened to my thoughts and opinions and wanted to hear my side of the story. I was told I could be anything I wanted and they supported me no matter what I did, good or bad.

Thankfully, my children now live in a world where spanking is frowned upon and schools wouldn't even dare to punish a child outside of the home. Parents are becoming more understanding and treating their children with respect. Breastfeeding openly in public is a trending topic and raising kind children to soften the world, instead of toughening children, is no longer mocked. Being a stay at home mom, isn't looked at as laziness and Attachment parenting has become normalized and a widely recognized community. Gentle/peaceful parenting now has a voice and listening and conversing with your children is being heard with open ears. And if you parent "crunchy," people just call you a hippie and they move on with their lives... 

You don't have to fit into category A, B or C anymore. And you're not being bullied into squeezing yourself into category D, E, or F.

While I do love "the good old days" and yearn for a more simplistic lifestyle, I am very fond of the progress we have made as a society. I am happy that our children are growing up in a more liberal light and are allowed to freely express themselves and be who they want to be. But life is all about balance. There is always good with the bad and with that, I will never be on board to "keep up with the Jones" and live my life chasing the dollar. My children understand that happiness comes from within and nothing materialistic you buy will ever replace that happiness. In my home, we will continue to have home cooked dinners around the table, outdoor adventures, and nothing but patience, love, and understanding. I will combine both worlds, old and new, and create a wonderful haven for my children to grow up in. And years from now, when they're talking to their children about their childhood, they'll think of it as, "the good old days."

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Mid Week Humor: Moments of quiet

You know you're a parent when the most exciting part of your day is that quiet few seconds you have when you walk to the driver seat, after buckling your children in their car seats.



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