Sunday, January 10, 2016

My little boy, the 3 year old


Three years ago, I hesitantly sauntered down the empty halls towards labor and delivery for my induction. I was 11 days early, my belly huge and my son palpable from the outside. I was extremely uncomfortable and barely walking due to the deterioration of my SI joints from my preexisting arthritis. Thankfully, I was already 6 cm dilated and 90 % effaced, so at least my body was in active agreement that it was time for my son to vacate my body.

My first delivery was a wonderful experience. I was in labor a total of an hour and had my daughter completely natural, without pitocin or pain medication. Luckily, there wasn't much pain. So, even with my impeding induction and all the horror stories I have heard, I knew I would still have another natural birth, minus the need for pitocin. 

After another quick labor, but horrific pain and my head spinning around 360 degrees at one point and my doctor walking out of the room because I refused to push, I gave birth to a large healthy baby boy.

My daughter was colic from the moment she was born. She cried as soon as she was delivered and continued well past 6 months old. She was my first, so I was awkward and helpless. However, when my son was born and placed ever so gently into my arms, he was calm. His serene eyes glanced up at me and he nuzzled his soft cheek into my bare chest. He fit perfectly against my body. He was my son, the remaining missing piece to our little family.

Today, my beautiful son turns 3 years old. With the memory of him being placed in my arms so vivid, it's hard to imagine that my last child is no longer a baby. When I close my eyes, I could still smell the new baby scent that radiated from his dark haired covered head. I could remember how wonderfully he slept from day one and his abnormally large appetite that helped his already big frame grow even larger.  

My little boy, such a sweet, soft soul, he contains. 

He's nothing like his older sister, at all. He's completely passive, nurturing, and loves to play by himself. He's easily content and low maintenance. He's nothing of what you would describe a stereotypical boy. He's sensitive and sometimes, overly sensitive. He loves cuddles and hugs and being with his momma.

But, like his sister, he loves to talk, a lot. He has to know what everything is and why it is what it is. He asks well over the allotted toddler questions, usually rapid fire, and under a minute. He's also goofy, silly, and loves to dress up in superhero costumes. 

One thing that's more than prevalent, is his love for his sister. The sun rises and sets with her. She's his rock, foundation, and his confidant. They spend countless hours being together; riding big wheels, playing hide and go seek, going on pretend adventures, and sitting side by side playing their kindles and learning together. He not only knows all his shapes and colors, but he also knows the alphabet and how to count to 15.

Years from now, the image of seeing my son snuggled up next to his sister, with his head rested on her shoulder, while she reads to him, will be forever etched into my memory...

These are my children... Forever...

When I begun this parenting journey 5 years ago, I didn't know what to expect. My daughter was first and immediately stole my heart. I never expected motherhood would change me the way it had, and for that, I'm grateful for my children. After time, I found out that I make a much better mother, than I did as just a woman. I'm more comfortable and confident in my motherhood role. So, by the time my son was born, I passed all the new mom nervous jitters. I was ready and willing for my love to succumb to this beautiful new human. But this time, he didn't change my life, he added to it. 

With having two children, a girl and boy, I'm able to experience the differences within them. I'm lucky to have two with such different personalities. Of course, some days, it's a constant push pull of parenting to figure out how to make everyone happy, but on a normal day, it allows me to parent individually and focus on their own needs.

Having my son born into our lives was our final gift. He was the other half of his sister, the final piece needed to close the circle. Now, the four of us are able to relish in our everyday love and continue to enjoy all the milestones that exist as the world turns.

Happy Birthday baby boy! 

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