Tuesday, February 16, 2021

Our Respectful Parenting Lifestyle...


Imagine for a second that you're at a restaurant with all your friends. You are all laughing at the table and having such a great time. The waiter comes over and hands you your drink, while you're in mid conversation. Now, imagine that your friend next to you immediately cuts you off and loudly projects, "I didn't hear you say thank you to the waiter. Say thank you." 

What would you do? 
Say thank you? 
Or completely shift gears and pull yourself inward and close yourself off to everyone around? 

That scenario sounds absolutely ridiculous, right? It's shaming to an extreme level, right? Well, it's exactly what we do to our children - all the time. 

Our children receive such mixed messages from adults... Children are expected to act like adults; not have big feelings in public, sit still when told, cooperate in all situations, etc. 

...But, they're not treated like adults. 

...They're never given that same respect.

Respectful parenting isn't about letting your children get away with everything and having no rules... It's about respecting your children enough for them to live their own life - It's allowing them to set their own boundaries and know their limits. It's allowing them the freedom to use their voice, without punishment. It's about them being who they were meant to be, not who you want them to be.

I know, I know... I hear it all the time... "I tried to use peaceful parenting, but it just didn't work for me." That's because, respectful parenting is a lifestyle, not a strategy... It's not something you can pick up on whim and expect it to work when you want it to work... It's a life form of its own... 

It's about constant conversations and mutual respect between the parent and child - and it definitely involves no punishment. Because, we as parents are supposed to be guiding our developing children, not punishing them because, their decisions weren't perfectly executed. It's a lifestyle that is started at birth and carried throughout their lives... It's allowing them to make their own mistakes and understand that their incorrect actions weren't a direct dig at you. But instead, it's about them trying to figure out the world around them... I think if most people understood that sentence, they would parent differently. 

Respectful parenting is about understanding your child, on their level... The same way you would for your best friend...

I get looked at weirdly when I tell people that my children never went through terrible twos, bad toddler years, or bratty times... I get called some fancy name and then, it's automatically assumed that I'm trying to mom shame others because, we didn't have the same experiences... The only difference to each scenario is, I have never once attempted to dominate or control my children, so they never felt the need to rebel.

While other 10 year old girls are trying to get as far away from their parents as possible. I have the one who would rather be with me, than friends... And, it's not that I'm trying to be that parent who is "besties" with her daughter - it's not like that at all. We're 100% parent and child. But, my daughter doesn't feel that intimidating authoritarianism from me... And, that's the difference...

The difference is, she is comfortable to sit down and talk to me. She doesn't hesitate to come to me when things are weird or she needs help navigating things... 

It's like that famous saying, "if you don't listen to the small stuff, they won't come to you for the big stuff." And, that has been a big mantra in my parenting.

------------------------------------------------------
Don't forget to follow me on my Instagram - Click Here - I post and vlog in my stories every day <3 

No comments:

Post a Comment