Mid Week Humor: Eating healthier... Or am I?

I'm one of those people who buys hummus to try and eat healthier. But then, I end up eating the entire container in one sitting and I'm left thinking, I should have just had that cupcake. Because, at that instant, I'm assuming they're equal... So in the end, it's kind of a moot point.

The Happy Days Blog

Beautiful weather causes lapses in posts...

As the weather quickly becomes more beautiful than the days before, I find myself falling into my spring pattern. My blog posts may become infrequent and inconsistent, but what remains consistent is, every year I seem to go into hiding when the first spring flower blooms. 

Blog posts become scarce and Instagram posts are far and few in between...

We become so home bound through our winter months, that even mid 40 degrees feels like summer to us. So, I instinctively begin spring cleaning and trying to fit every kind of outdoor activity into our day. Then, I actually <strangely> become overwhelmed at the thought of doing everything in one day -and become exhausted at sunset. Even though that is silly and it's not even realistic.

The beautiful weather has come at a perfect time too. Somewhere between us being sick, a blizzard, and freezing cold weather, we've all started to bump heads. I think for a second, our 1600 sq/ft home became too small.

My daughter and I were beginning that infamous, everything I say she has to disagree with phase. Which started from sun up to sun down, and has been delightful to say the least <insert sarcasm>. 

My son has begun following, Erik Erikson's initiative versus guilt stage, where he is asserting his independence ten fold and also doesn't understand the depths of apparent dangers when he attempts to do things like, stand on top of the cozy coupe while his sister pushes it, or something similar -then, I'm the bad guy when I try to stop him. 

My peaceful parenting has been tried, tested, and stretched. But in the end, we made it. With patience and understanding --And some early bedtimes. And LOTS of cupcakes (for me, not the kids).

And, as the rebirth of our earth transforms and new change emerges, the home dynamics begin to shift. Our days are now spent outdoors, exploring, pretending, and roaming without the constraints of artificial walls...

Perfectly timed, too.

Spring is the unofficial kick off to better, brighter times, and less stepping on each other's toes, times.

A time where my coed softball begins and my daughter's softball begins and her indoor ninja warrior classes are ending. 

A time when we move our rope swing and rope latter out of our basement and attach it to our outside tree. And our crocs are waiting, lined by the back door. Big wheels are parked outdoors and cozy coupes are now on grass. And, our patio is filling up with roller skates, scooters, and chalk...

And pool weather is just right around the corner.

So when we finally get used to the weather and the urge to not waste a single moment of outdoor air wears off -and it always does- I'll get back to blogging my three times a week again. But until then, I'll definitely keep it up at least once a week.

Because, I'm always so flattered when I lapse a week or so and people reach out to me saying, how they miss my posts or even asking, if everything is ok?

I'm grateful for you people... 

And, this is why I started blogging in the first place. To help parents through their days, just like other bloggers did for me. 

Because without all you lovely people, I would just be a blogger, writing to the sound of silence.

And thank you all for that :) 


**I wrote a previous post about voting for me on Top Mommy Blogs -You can view my post here for the details -->  Top Mommy Blogs Post 

Top Mommy Blogs Post...

Hey all. I just wanted to send out a reminder that for awhile now, I have been blessed with the opportunity to hold standings within the Top Mommy Blogs community. And, in the right side column of my blog, there is a Top Mommy Blogs icon hanging out there. I don't think you can see it through mobile version, so you'd have to switch over to web version...

Here's a screenshot of what it looks like

It's over there ----------------------------->

I'd appreciate it, if all you lovely people, could click on that sucker a few times a week, or whenever you head over to my site to read my posts... 

Each time you send that vote, it ups my ranking over on their site. And, the higher the ranking, the more views my blog gets.

And that would be awesome. 

You can only vote once a day. But thanks for the attempt at multiples -You get an A+ for effort. And, I'll send a virtual hug <3

Thank you all... I always greatly appreciate the support you all give to me. Because, without your support, I'd just be a mom blogger, blogging to the sound of silence in the dark air :) 

A memory of an ever-changing story...

This image is a duplicate of the ones that are forever ingrained in my memories. They wait there, opened, like a field of daisies just waiting to be picked... I could remember walking past this door and seeing a toddler among a sea of books, her tiny pony tail standing high above the pile and her little fingers thumbing through page after page, pretending to read each one. As the years passed, the image stayed the same, but the content changed with the time. My little toddler..., turned into a little girl and that pretend reading, turned into actual reading. Now, when I pass this door, after my home becomes too quiet, I see her sitting in her desk chair, facing the opened windows, with a chapter book in her hands. Her eyes are focused and her body stiff. She's lost somewhere among tree house adventures, bratty first graders, and mysteries. And I stand in this doorway for a few minutes, before I'm even recognized. And in those few minutes, I'm able to relieve the short transformation that seemed to matriculate before my very eyes...

Mid Week Humor: Mom brain...

That awkward moment when you grab your grocery list, pack your son in the car, and head out to the store, only to arrive at said store, and realize you left your wallet at home... And apparently, your brain too... Motherhood.

The Happy Days Blog

Our annual Spring exploring...

After a blizzard producing a 22 inch snow fall and a winter that seemed to drag on and on, today's 68 degree weather was warmly welcomed... It was just warm enough for short sleeves and pants, but cool enough to hike around in our back woods without the bugs pestering us. 

The sky was crystal blue and the air was quiet. However, the scene was still barron, with not a color in sight. Only tiny buds showed their presence on the tips of the trees, but the brown dried leaves still heavily blanketed the ground.

My son and I donned our boots and we coaxed our German Shepherd to join us on an exploring adventure. My son likes to pretend she's our search and seek partner and asks her to "sniff out" clues. So, we wandered the grounds, stepping over fallen limbs and uprooted trees, as I carried a plastic ziplock bag with rocks, sticks, and pine cones piled inside. We would stop and empty the contents to see if anything resembled a clue, and I would related some object to something we passed and he would get excited, as that meant we were getting closer... To what, I never found out. 

Mid way, he would stop and say, "I think there's a dragon over there." Then I would stop and call for our dog to stop and pretend we were on high alert. And we all got quiet... For about a second -that's about how long my son can handle... He picked up a stick and said, "I got this mama!" Then, he ran towards the "dragon" and scared him off. You know, being the brave explorer protecting his followers.

Periodically, he'd reach for my hand, to help me navigate through the woods. Saying, "here mama, let me help you." But, I think it was more for his stability. Either way, I thanked him and reminded him how much I was grateful for his hand. 

We climbed deeper and deeper, so our home was just a white speckle between the trees. Our dog was now laying in the leaves, taking a break from her 10 year old legs. And, he and I pretended to set up a camp fire among the tall oaks that sat high above us. He used his sword stick to roast marshmallows and I cooked mac and cheese. He chatted about our next course and how we needed to find more dragons to keep the area safe. Then, we would head back home...

I could remember doing this same thing with his sister every spring. After the winter months, our stagnant bodies craved the outdoor air and our minds yearned for some adventures. But lately, pretend adventures aren't really her thing anymore. She humors us every once in a while, but she'd rather turn the logs and obstacles into an American Ninja Warrior event instead. 

So I take the changes with stride, I'm now becoming a professional at that, and I make sure to integrate both children with all the activities at the same time. It takes skill, but we make it work. And I know that I'll probably cry the day all this stops and the Spring season doesn't mean we go out into the woods to slay dragons, or save princesses, or even, look for clues. But today, it does. Today, it means, we walk the grounds and play together... 

And when Spring becomes just another day on the calendar, I'll always have these wonderful memories that will forever remain in the forefront of my brain... 

And at that time, the memories will be just as special as the real thing.

A little rant... School. Peaceful Parenting. And just basic human kindness.

I had something happen to me today that rendered me speechless. And for those who know me personally, know that's a feat. In fact, I usually strive to have the last word in any situation. But today, it took me far too long to process what I heard.

After months of trying to coax my daughter to effortlessly walk through the school's front doors without hesitation, she finally has been on a positive streak. But, that was due to having her walk with me to the inside of the double doors (the breezeway area -the part before the locked set of doors). I've been doing this as a way to take her away from the distraction of all the other children and in case she started to cry, it would save her from embarrassment. 

And since this whole debacle of the teachers strike has continued this far and now, the teachers refuse to open the doors a minute before their contracted time, this was my alternative for the best interest of MY child.

So today, the teacher who stands outside every morning, walked past us and a special needs family and repeatedly stated, "you're not supposed to be in here." Then with attitude said, "parents need to follow the rules to have order." Which really threw me for a loop. So much, that I couldn't even quickly reply...

This is just elementary school, right?
A socialism program that 60% of the funding for this district is paid by the taxpayers (I've attended too many school board meetings since the strike). 

The funny part was, when I went back home and reviewed the policies, it only stated that families cannot enter the building without signing in the office first... Nothing about being in the locked off section.

Then, this led me to that infamous statement... "well, if we let you do it, then we have to let everyone do it."

Then let everyone do it...

We're living in a society where it somehow became socially acceptable to put more faith in other caregivers of authority, than ourselves. Parent's do it automatically... My children are going to school, not prison. I'm not signing over custody to them for 7 hours a day, they're still mine. And if I want to stand away from the crowd in a separate area to say goodbye to my daughter, I should be allowed to. Hell, the teachers are putting their needs first with this strike, why shouldn't we as parents put the needs of our children first. And I'm astonished that there aren't more parents who don't find all this absurd. And, to use the statement, we need order, reminded me of a regime, and that's the part that rendered me speechless.

But frankly, it's more about control. I've written time and time again about how children always get the bum deal in all this. How they're the only group who have absolutely no say or rights in their own lives. And many would say, it's because they're not old enough to understand. And yes, there is truth to that. But, they're old enough to know when they're being disrespected and not trusted.

All these rules and policies are written to obtain control over the child. Their day is ridden with threats and punishments. Maybe not corporal. But punishments of no recess or not being able to participate in fun activities, if they do something wrong. Not participating, is more detrimental to the child's welfare than, it just being about fun. Children need breaks in the day and a way to diffuse anxieties and being bored. Preventing this, will only cause more disruption.

And I can't imagine that fear of doing something wrong is actually helping progress a child's education (or even help behaviors at home), especially, if they're not exposed to it.

I raise my children in a home without punishment. There are no threats or items being taken away. They are being raised with mutual respect and understanding. And communication of emotions in a loving and secure environment. 

And, it's not that I need anyone to treat my children differently. But how about, they treat every child that way. Why do children need to be feared into listening? Can't they just listen because that's the correct thing to do? Can't they be given that extra second or two to be explained?

Why must we shout at children like they're cattle, not moving in the correct direction? Why must we continue with the old way of, if one child acts up, then the whole class is punished? Haven't we progressed more as a society to accept the psychology and understand basic human communication?
--Basically, in order to be respected, you must show respect.

I'm even more floored that I'm looked at as odd because, I care about these issues. What seems mundane to others, is a big deal to me. And with that, I'm mocked as a "hippie" or, "snowflake" or, "babying my children" because I care about their well being and the way they're being treated out of my care. 

Because I decided, that the old way of doing things, isn't necessarily the best.

Besides, children do not all have the ability to externalize what they're processing, like adults do. They don't easily brush things off. Instead, they internalize it all. When something happens to them, they think it's directed solely at them and they begin to doubt themselves. With that, teachers have the innate ability to make or break a child. Some would say, they have too much power. Contrastingly, the ability of an adult dealing with a boss who is down right mean, comes with age. It comes when the brain matures and you stop thinking the world revolves around you and everything that is happening around you, is about you. A skill that makes puberty unbearable.

So, being tough on children and drawing attention to their weaknesses isn't going to help them grow. Moving cards from green to red isn't going to motivate every child. Just like, secluding them from the class isn't going to add positivity. Instead, it creates unnecessary insecurities and embarrassment, as they age.

If schools (and even parents) focused more on positive reinforcement versus the negativity, you'd lose that negative attention seeking behavior and the urge to rebel against the walls of structure and rules. You'd be surprised what happens when you give children a little control over their lives and the respect to allow them to make mistakes and suffer the natural consequences of said mistake.

If people were even a little bit more kind to one another, instead of assuming everyone is the same and only seeing the negative, the world would be a much gentler place.

And I hope to raise my children to not be tough or hard to face this world, but instead, to be gentle and kind to help soften this world. 

And I proudly wear my snowflake badge with honor...

*Disclaimer: So far, my daughter has been blessed with great teachers throughout her education. And with the exception of 2 or 3 teachers, the whole elementary school has a great reputation. We live in a higher socioeconomic district, and our school is ranked nationally, and our class sizes are small for a public school. So other than a few general mishaps here and there, I'm very satisfied with our district, as opposed to homeschool (of course, other than the whole strike thing). But this post is focused more on the general sense of humanity and the need to control and punish children... Not just in schools, but in life.