Why do gender roles matter?

It’s amazing how two children are raised the exact same way, in the same household, with the exact same parents, but yet, are two completely different individuals.

Both of my children display very similar morals, ethics, and values (as much as a 4 year old and almost 2 year old can demonstrate), however their roles are almost completely reversed.

I wrote a mid-week about gender roles a few weeks back and I wanted to discuss a little deeper about my household…

…So in short, my daughter is more masculine and my son is more feminine.

My daughter isn’t afraid to sweat. She doesn’t get hurt easily or cries when she falls down, instead I hear a grunt and a, “I’m ok” as she moves on. Hugs and kisses are hard to obtain, I have to trick her to come over to get them -then she runs away. She gets down and dirty and is extremely athletic for how young she is. She could throw a ball further than most boys I know. She could play coach’s pitch baseball and hit the ball more times than she’ll miss. As most of my steadily readers are aware, my daughter is obsessed with American Ninja Warrior and goes to our local obstacle course playground and pretends she’s competing… And she’s able to utilize the course that is labeled for 6-8 year olds.

Her personality fits the athletic mindset, as she’s in a mode to strive to achieve greatness. She’s not ok with being average. She learns something and then gathers as much information as she can to further her knowledge. I always say, she was born talking and born to challenge everything.

Instead of playing with toys, she would rather read.

She would rather do puzzles, crafts, preschool learning books, and counting games.

She uses her kindle fire for only educational, preschool and kindergarten games –by her choice.

She wants to know everything life has to offer and never stops asking questions…

Never….

…Not even long to enough to breathe sometimes.

On a completely different side is my son.

My son is 4 months shy of 2 years old and is displaying a much softer side. He cries easily and is very cautious. He doesn’t get down and dirty –instead he wants his hands wiped constantly when they are dirty. He falls, he cries, in fact, I’d bet if he farted too loud he’d cry. He gets his feelings hurt and wants a hug to make everything better.

His personality is very laid back. He’s content with being mediocre.He doesn't challenge anything and accepts pretty much everything. He’s happy sitting alone in his bedroom playing with his cars and trains on the floor. He doesn’t need to be mentally stimulated, he only needs toys. He flips through picture books, but that’s only to find all the cars and trucks and pretend to run them across the floor like a toy.

He rarely talks.

He doesn’t do flash cards, or sit long enough to listen to books.

He’s completely disinterested in learning words or educational puzzles.

He loves his baby dolls. He loves rocking them and humming lullabies.

And he loves hugs and kisses.

Both of my children have the same foundation, but are completely different children. My daughter does have glimpses of her being a girl and my son does have glimpses of him being a boy. I see them when my daughter has her dress-up outfits on and when my son has an innate obsession with cars and trains. However, they are forming their own individual personalities based on their own likes, not what society pushes. That to me is the most wonderful part.

There shouldn’t be boys or girl’s toys, just children’s toys -Toys that any child can play with and not be looked differently upon. Toys that parent’s should be able to buy their children without some stranger offering input about the subject.

How it works in my house is, the toy they like, is the toy they get. It doesn’t matter that my daughter’s bedroom floor is blanketed with Jake and the Neverland Pirates, Octonauts, and Mike the Knight, or my son has a cradle with a baby doll next to Minnie’s bowtique in his bedroom.

I love watching them develop into their own person and not following the trend of what’s appropriate, because technically, what works for them is appropriate for them.

They are both loving, respectful children. I’m extremely lucky to have them be healthy and happy in their own light. Gender roles are irrelevant right now. Happiness is the focus. Being a parent, I am blessed with the unique opportunity to see my children start in one place and end in another. Sometimes the paths are the same, and sometimes the paths are completely different. Either way, as long as they are happy and successful, then this momma will be one happy momma.