Mid Week Revelation: Showering Peacefully

I've realized that showering peacefully before 11:30 pm is a luxury only people without children can appreciate... Motherhood, it's not for the weak.

My Everything

When I was pregnant with my second child, I approached parenthood very differently. I didn’t find the need to fixate on the tedious things involved. I had the nursery done later and clothes barely washed upon arrival. My struggled was, “how do I balance two children and how will another child fit with my existing one?”

I just came off of parenting a child who was ranked top notch in the high needs department. So I was mentally prepared to be bull riding bareback -To hear non-stop crying. My daughter wasn’t easily soothed and could have cared less if I was hungry or tired. She had to be held and rocked, all the time –for hours on end. At one point, she wasn’t interested in interacting with anyone other than me. She not only laughed at the traditional baby methods, she stomped on them. Finally, I had to give up any knowledge I retained on parenting. I had to study her and parent her, not some prototype child.

The problem was, he wasn’t anything like her.  He soothed easily and crying was non-existent. He smiled a lot and giggled at the slightest tickle. He was happy to not be held, but would fall into anyone’s arm that would catch him. He didn’t have to interact in the world, just observe it. So again, I had to give up my previous knowledge of parenting and start all over. Learning him. Gaining new knowledge that would carry me through his infancy.

Thankfully, my once stressful infant has turned into an amazingly easy toddler/preschooler. She immediately took to him and he was more than content to watch her every move. When he wakes from a nap, he anxiously awaits to hear his sister run down the hall towards him. At only 9.5 months in, you could already see the love they have for each other.

Life is ironic -My children are 28 months apart, so my daughter remembers what life was like before her brother. She remembers when mommy spent all the days reading and playing with just her -Whereas, my son can’t imagine life without his sister.

With parenting two children I found that time management is a major factor and I discovered I’m horrible at multitasking. I feel like I spend my days in survival mode -Spending intermitted moments clinging on, white knuckling it, as I try to divide my attention. Sometimes, I’m huddled in the corner of my bathroom crying because of the pressure. I’ve learned my son will whine to eat while I’m reading to my daughter, or my daughter will whine when I’m dressing my son. And I say, “hold on” way too much, which tears apart my soul.

Life with two children is hard, but life without them wouldn’t exist. Sooner than I know it, my sleepless nights and eating with one hand will be missed. Eventually, I will walk through an empty house, with only memories of a previous life -No cheerios or toys left scattered throughout.

My chaotic life has become soothing to me. When my children aren’t around, my brain doesn’t seem to function normal. As the months are passing, balancing has become more attainable. Each day I’m winning more battles than I am losing. I still don’t feel like I have enough time in the day to meet everyone’s demands, however, somehow I am doing it.

Thanks to my husband, I have two beautiful, healthy children that I can’t imagine how I survived all these years without. With that, I have given them a gift of each other. These two will share an everlasting bond. They are best friends. They are my everything.

Mid Week Revelation: Competition

I've realized that exhaustion has become a cruel competitive game that you play -by yourself... Motherhood, it's not for the weak.

"Where did the time go?"

I know it’s a cliché when people say, “Where did the time go?” I never thought I would be saying that after having my daughter scream for the first year of her life. Frankly, at her first birthday I felt like she should have been 16 years old. I’m not quite sure what happened that second and third year. I believe one of the years we had a hurricane, I was almost 8 months pregnant and we were without power for 4 days while we all huddled in bed to retain body heat (including my 90lb German Shepherd) –that, I remember. But her getting older –That I don’t.

When you’re home every day by yourself with one or multiple kids, you tend to be in survival mode and robotically go through the day, meeting everyone’s demands. You don’t really have the time to sit and breathe it all in. In the moment, life seems to stand still (when you’re cleaning, feeding, doing laundry, etc), but when you look back, you can’t imagine how much has passed.

She has changed so much. She yearns for space and has her own separate wants and needs. Her main personality still holds strong –a feisty, outspoken, kindhearted, opinionated, tom-boy, joke-telling preschooler. But it seems like yesterday, she was this helpless little baby who eventually transformed into a well-spoken, more independent, big sister.

She no longer needs me for frivolous things, so I take every opportunity I can with her - When I carry my daughter, not because she needs me to, but because she wants me to, I notice how heavy she has become, how articulate her words are spoken, and how her once shorten legs now dangle past my thighs -I hold onto this moment for all eternity, I breathe it in, because I know in another year I’ll say, “Where did the time go?”

Mid Week Revelation -Telepathy

I've realized the very second I put one child down for a nap, the other already sleeping child will immediately wake up like some telepathic conspiracy... Motherhood, it's not for the weak.

Bedtime Debacle

Whenever I picture bedtime, I always had this image of the whole family piled into the parent’s bed. With big white fluffy down comforters and dozens of fluffy white pillows –mom and dad alternating the children’s favorite stories, while everyone is smiling and laughing until the children drift off to sleep… However, reality is VERY much different.

Usually after bath time, I’m chasing my 3 year old around the house while trying to get her pajamas on –somehow this turns into a competitive game of tag, you’re it. Then once I finally catch her, I feel like I’m trying to hog tie a wild bull or a slippery fish. My son is now crying because I had to put him down to chase his sister around the house (I thought I was home, not at a circus). Once she is wrestled and dressed (and all the hair and teeth brushing done), I release her back out into the wild where I now have to dress my other wild animal (my son) who twists, kicks, and stiffens during this process. Keep in mind, all this is occurring while my husband rests peacefully on the couch. But let’s face it, that must be exhausting for him to hear all this going on.

Now, my daughter is begging for food, drinks, anything that will keep her from going to sleep. My son is whining to go to sleep (yes, polar opposites). My husband now peels himself off the couch to put my son to bed. My son is overly attached to me -The second he’s asleep in my arms and I transition him to the crib, he wakes up and reaches back for me. He doesn’t have that same reaction when my husband puts him down. My daughter requires me to lay with her and either read or tell her made up stories (while she’s consuming milk and a pb&j sandwich in bed, hence the non-white bedding). This goes on for quite some time until she asks to hold your hand, then drifts off to sleep.

After it’s quiet in the house, some 3-4 hours later, (and my husband is already on the couch), I now have to play cleaning fairy and tidy up the entire house, wash dishes, and put laundry away –you know, all the things that I avoid doing during the day because life with a 3 year old and almost 1 year old is enough in itself. As I scrub the floor and try to wipe away the day (literally), I go to my happy place and think maybe bedtime will be a quicker, more serene task one day.

My daughter was never a sleeper -she thinks sleep is the devil. Before kids, I was like every new parent. I had a complete mindset of what I was going to do and how I was going to accomplish it. However, like most new mothers, I found that is impossible –and reality slowly took a new shape. I swore I was never going to co-sleep. I’m tough, I was going to ride this storm out (I personally don’t believe in CIO (crying it out) it just doesn’t fit into my lifestyle –I’ll talk more about that on another blog post). Two years of my daughter waking up 5-6 times a night, every night, I finally caved (told you I was tough). I was pregnant with my son, very ill from all day sickness, and just plain exhausted; I brought her in my bed, where apparently she’ll be until she’s 20 years old. Who cares about rules when you’re exhausted –I would have given her cupcakes if that would have made her sleep. Now at 3 years old, we have yet to find a mutual respect for sleep. She sleeps better, just doesn’t need as much as I would like her to have (Isn’t 20 hours normal?).

My son on the other hand is a dream with sleep. He slept 6 hours by 3 weeks and was sleeping 10 -12 hours by 3 months. His bedtime requires about 10-15 minutes the most. Every day I flinch at the thought of it all ending and him waking up and saying ok, I’m done. Or realizing that he sleeps in his own room and why does his sister get to sleep in mommy and daddy’s bed?

I’m sure flawless bedtimes do exist; my household just isn’t one of them. As I dig a little deeper into the parenting hole, I realize what works for one child probably won’t work for the other. And as my children grow and mature, so will their bedtime routines. Until then, I’ll laugh at the crazy and enjoy the fact that my daughter loves to sleep in bed with us, because sooner than I know it, she’ll be a teenager and want to be as far away as possible.

Mid Week Revelation... Dishes Galore

"I realized that I apparently possess supernatural powers which enable me to place a dish into the dishwasher. Motherhood, it's not for the weak."

Hello World!

Hello cyber world! I am finally up and running. It took me a bit to start blogging because I couldn’t seem to fixate on a name that sparked my interest (silly me for thinking the name would be the biggest roadblock –turns out, it’s trying to find time to write with two little ones in the house. Time in general isn’t even an issue. It’s to find the time where I could think –you know, where I would be able to focus enough to do simple math… 99% of the time, I can’t). Happy Days was created while I had the rare moment of silence –My 3 year old daughter was playing nicely by herself and my teething 9 month old son wasn’t fussing. It was a moment where everything was calm.  A moment where I basked in the love, joy, and pride of my family… These are the happy days in my life.

I am a stay at home mother of two. But I’m not your average stay at home mom, my husband isn’t a doctor or a lawyer. He is your average hard working man who will work 80 hours a week if that means I can stay at home. So technically, I probably shouldn’t be staying home.  But I always said, I would rather live in a motor home if that meant I could raise my children myself. I no longer have needs or wants –My children do. And as long as I keep meeting their needs, then my life is complete.

 I budget, I don’t coupon clip (I personally don’t understand it, to me it seems like you have to spend more money in the first place), if we don’t have it, we don’t spend it (I’ve walked into Dollar General and bought 1 paper towel roll because that’s all I needed at that time). Like I said, my two kids come first, I’m not even sure I’m on the list. Showers and eating regular meals have become a luxury to me. My days are filled with providing for everyone in my house –even the dog. At least husband comes home to two happy kids reaching and climbing all over him when he walks through the door. Food is on the table –But, I am sometimes unrecognizable as I stand there with baby food smeared throughout my clothes, or a moo moo, basically whatever I woke up in (again, changing out of pajamas is an inconvenience throughout the day). Sometimes I’m grateful I’m married and have been with my husband as long as I have (over 10 years). Because I sometimes look at myself and say thank god he met me when I was 20-30 lbs thinner and more youthful looking.

Kids do this amazing thing to you. They unleash a level of love that one could never imagine… No matter how stressed I am at my 3 year old, she could make one face that will completely redirect my attention and make me laugh hysterically.  My son (who is teething like a bear eating out of hibernation) whines A LOT, but he has a smile that lights up a room –it’s contagious. With all the daily struggles of raising two kids while a husband works a lot, these little ones are what make my life meaningful.

I am going to do a weekly blog about my days (I would like to do more, but seeing how long it took me just to write this first one, I would say once a week is going to be a task)… I was an occupational therapist and also worked as a child behavioral therapist before having children. I have a lot of different insights on parenting from those 2 professions. I would consider myself a laid back parent –I choose my battles and definitely find humor in a lot of things. And I would say I practice attachment parenting with modifications. I live a very “natural” lifestyle, not organic. I buy as much as I can locally and I make all my meals. We hardly eat in restaurants (maybe once every other month the most) and I don’t buy frozen meals for my kids. I’m not a preacher by any means -to each its own. Whatever I write is just my opinion and my life. Laugh at it or absorb it, don’t take it as something you should be changing or doing.

I look forward to partaking in this journey with all of you... Until next time, enjoy your Happy Days!