My Everything

When I was pregnant with my second child, I approached parenthood very differently. I didn’t find the need to fixate on the tedious things involved. I had the nursery done later and clothes barely washed upon arrival. My struggled was, “how do I balance two children and how will another child fit with my existing one?”

I just came off of parenting a child who was ranked top notch in the high needs department. So I was mentally prepared to be bull riding bareback -To hear non-stop crying. My daughter wasn’t easily soothed and could have cared less if I was hungry or tired. She had to be held and rocked, all the time –for hours on end. At one point, she wasn’t interested in interacting with anyone other than me. She not only laughed at the traditional baby methods, she stomped on them. Finally, I had to give up any knowledge I retained on parenting. I had to study her and parent her, not some prototype child.

The problem was, he wasn’t anything like her.  He soothed easily and crying was non-existent. He smiled a lot and giggled at the slightest tickle. He was happy to not be held, but would fall into anyone’s arm that would catch him. He didn’t have to interact in the world, just observe it. So again, I had to give up my previous knowledge of parenting and start all over. Learning him. Gaining new knowledge that would carry me through his infancy.

Thankfully, my once stressful infant has turned into an amazingly easy toddler/preschooler. She immediately took to him and he was more than content to watch her every move. When he wakes from a nap, he anxiously awaits to hear his sister run down the hall towards him. At only 9.5 months in, you could already see the love they have for each other.

Life is ironic -My children are 28 months apart, so my daughter remembers what life was like before her brother. She remembers when mommy spent all the days reading and playing with just her -Whereas, my son can’t imagine life without his sister.

With parenting two children I found that time management is a major factor and I discovered I’m horrible at multitasking. I feel like I spend my days in survival mode -Spending intermitted moments clinging on, white knuckling it, as I try to divide my attention. Sometimes, I’m huddled in the corner of my bathroom crying because of the pressure. I’ve learned my son will whine to eat while I’m reading to my daughter, or my daughter will whine when I’m dressing my son. And I say, “hold on” way too much, which tears apart my soul.

Life with two children is hard, but life without them wouldn’t exist. Sooner than I know it, my sleepless nights and eating with one hand will be missed. Eventually, I will walk through an empty house, with only memories of a previous life -No cheerios or toys left scattered throughout.

My chaotic life has become soothing to me. When my children aren’t around, my brain doesn’t seem to function normal. As the months are passing, balancing has become more attainable. Each day I’m winning more battles than I am losing. I still don’t feel like I have enough time in the day to meet everyone’s demands, however, somehow I am doing it.

Thanks to my husband, I have two beautiful, healthy children that I can’t imagine how I survived all these years without. With that, I have given them a gift of each other. These two will share an everlasting bond. They are best friends. They are my everything.