Bedtime Debacle

Whenever I picture bedtime, I always had this image of the whole family piled into the parent’s bed. With big white fluffy down comforters and dozens of fluffy white pillows –mom and dad alternating the children’s favorite stories, while everyone is smiling and laughing until the children drift off to sleep… However, reality is VERY much different.

Usually after bath time, I’m chasing my 3 year old around the house while trying to get her pajamas on –somehow this turns into a competitive game of tag, you’re it. Then once I finally catch her, I feel like I’m trying to hog tie a wild bull or a slippery fish. My son is now crying because I had to put him down to chase his sister around the house (I thought I was home, not at a circus). Once she is wrestled and dressed (and all the hair and teeth brushing done), I release her back out into the wild where I now have to dress my other wild animal (my son) who twists, kicks, and stiffens during this process. Keep in mind, all this is occurring while my husband rests peacefully on the couch. But let’s face it, that must be exhausting for him to hear all this going on.

Now, my daughter is begging for food, drinks, anything that will keep her from going to sleep. My son is whining to go to sleep (yes, polar opposites). My husband now peels himself off the couch to put my son to bed. My son is overly attached to me -The second he’s asleep in my arms and I transition him to the crib, he wakes up and reaches back for me. He doesn’t have that same reaction when my husband puts him down. My daughter requires me to lay with her and either read or tell her made up stories (while she’s consuming milk and a pb&j sandwich in bed, hence the non-white bedding). This goes on for quite some time until she asks to hold your hand, then drifts off to sleep.

After it’s quiet in the house, some 3-4 hours later, (and my husband is already on the couch), I now have to play cleaning fairy and tidy up the entire house, wash dishes, and put laundry away –you know, all the things that I avoid doing during the day because life with a 3 year old and almost 1 year old is enough in itself. As I scrub the floor and try to wipe away the day (literally), I go to my happy place and think maybe bedtime will be a quicker, more serene task one day.

My daughter was never a sleeper -she thinks sleep is the devil. Before kids, I was like every new parent. I had a complete mindset of what I was going to do and how I was going to accomplish it. However, like most new mothers, I found that is impossible –and reality slowly took a new shape. I swore I was never going to co-sleep. I’m tough, I was going to ride this storm out (I personally don’t believe in CIO (crying it out) it just doesn’t fit into my lifestyle –I’ll talk more about that on another blog post). Two years of my daughter waking up 5-6 times a night, every night, I finally caved (told you I was tough). I was pregnant with my son, very ill from all day sickness, and just plain exhausted; I brought her in my bed, where apparently she’ll be until she’s 20 years old. Who cares about rules when you’re exhausted –I would have given her cupcakes if that would have made her sleep. Now at 3 years old, we have yet to find a mutual respect for sleep. She sleeps better, just doesn’t need as much as I would like her to have (Isn’t 20 hours normal?).

My son on the other hand is a dream with sleep. He slept 6 hours by 3 weeks and was sleeping 10 -12 hours by 3 months. His bedtime requires about 10-15 minutes the most. Every day I flinch at the thought of it all ending and him waking up and saying ok, I’m done. Or realizing that he sleeps in his own room and why does his sister get to sleep in mommy and daddy’s bed?

I’m sure flawless bedtimes do exist; my household just isn’t one of them. As I dig a little deeper into the parenting hole, I realize what works for one child probably won’t work for the other. And as my children grow and mature, so will their bedtime routines. Until then, I’ll laugh at the crazy and enjoy the fact that my daughter loves to sleep in bed with us, because sooner than I know it, she’ll be a teenager and want to be as far away as possible.