Why has parenting changed so much?

We live in a society where we are striving for tomorrow before we even indulge in today. Chaos is a normal part of life. People are functioning in fast mode, never stopping, while speeding through each chapter in their lives -their children are also along for the ride -making little adults out of them, with their own sets of responsibilities. 

With this, children are indirectly aging quicker than they should -an example, our society has a type of parenting called, “attachment parenting” and I can’t even wrap my head around that. Have we outstretched ourselves that much from generations back? I practice attachment parenting, but with my own modifications, and I’m very laid back. But if you break down attachment parenting, it’s basically the parenting we were all raised with. Kind of like organic was just the way our grandparents ate everyday –they didn’t have a fancy name for it.

Attachment parenting’s main premise is putting your child’s needs before yours –does there really have to be a type of parenting for that? Does that really need to be a style? It's pretty simple, if your child is crying –go to them. If your child is hungry –feed them (don’t wait for a scheduled time). If your child wants to be held –hold them. Again, does this all really need to be stated? 

Crying it out (CIO) was created to train your child to sleep, basically to make them conform to your lifestyle. I was always under the impression as parents we were supposed to follow our children’s needs. Think about CIO for a moment. If your child is crying when you put them to bed (and they’re fed, changed, etc), maybe they just miss you. Remember, to children and babies, you are their whole world and they'll only need you for a small amount of time before they start wanting their own space, while having their own lives. 

I feel I am an outcast with today’s parents -Even yesterday’s parents. I am a stay at home mom, I chose that. I have a master degree in occupational therapy and chose to live on one pay check. I chose to put all my wants and needs on the back burner so my children can have everything they want. I still follow that trend. I chose to “baby” my children –I find that people expect 3 year olds to act way too mature than they should. I cuddle my children (a lot) and I pay too much attention to them. I force them to say please and thank you –My daughter also says Sir and Ma’am. I let them speak their mind and have opinions. If I’m wrong, I tell them that (I’m not on a pedestal because I’m a parent), I take responsibilities for my own actions and expect the same from them. I let them have their own personalities, not one I designed for them. I indulge in their imaginations, I follow along with her wild stories, and nothing she says is unimportant –no matter how trivial.

My children don’t fit the profile of today’s kids. They don’t easily go to other people -they are not passed around between their mother and separated father, they are not in daycare, nor do independent activities away from home. They are rock solid in public, they are confident, and talkative, as long as mommy is near. They feel they could achieve anything, as long as mommy is near. Is that wrong? No, because they’re still babies. I want them to have a complete childhood, with appropriate age progressions, not today’s society push. Not a childhood filled with Spongebob cartoons, anti-Santa Clause, adult conversations, and adult television shows.

If this leaves my children attached to me, then I did something right –I’d rather that instead of them begging to leave before 18 years old. If my children live with me until they’re 40 years old, then they do (or maybe that’s just the Italian in me). I again, don’t have a problem with that. They are only children for a little bit and adults for the rest of their lives. I believe kids have too many demands placed on them. They have too many “scheduled” activities and not enough time to just sit and stare out the window. They are occupied 24/7 with technology and TV.

I realize the majority won’t agree with this post. Like I said, I find that I’m an outsider with my type of parenting. I pay full attention to my kids -I get down on their level and listen to their every word. They are my priority and nothing else. I treat them as little humans, not beneath me. I don’t parent them based off a power trip because my child said no to me –I pick my battles, if it’s not that important, then I don’t challenge it. I discipline, I don’t punish –I don’t bully nor embarrass them. I don’t want to be treated like that, why would they?

Parenting is less difficult if you put the time into your child. I think people have the misconception that “babying” their children will leave them unable to handle life. However, based on my opinion, I believe the child will be more confident and more stable later in life. Just look at how we all turned out and generations before (35+). I grew up with both self-employed parents that were always around and I had an incredible childhood –we are still very close today. I know and always knew I could count on them, they would/will always be there for me without judgement. 

I always try to parent based on a 1950’s housewife, more like June Cleaver -the one that was always cool, calm, and collective in every situation and always had the right thing to say (all while running the entire household). The children had three healthy meals a day –at a table with the family. Had someone home to greet them when they walked through the door. They never spent a moment wondering if someone would be there if they needed them.

Children will grow into their own anyways. Why not let them do it on their own time –when they’re ready to be independent. Children should have a childhood with complete ignorance and bliss –because it’s the only time in their life they can get away with that. Why should they have so many responsibilities, they will also have a lifetime of that. Parents should be less demanding and more forgiving –realizing that children will always test boundaries and are constantly changing. Parenting should be slowed down so you could start breathing in all the incredible moments, instead of punishing them.