Temporary farewell

Her packed bags were all waiting at the door -stuffed to the max with Octonauts, princess figures, and books of various kinds. She patiently waited, her tapping finger made a continuous thumping sound against the glass slider. She steadily asked,"are they here yet?" Before I was able to saunter over for verification, we heard their car pull up the driveway. To which she bailed on her bags and ran out the door –jumping into their arms.

She was having a sleepover at their house.

She talked a mile a minute about all the things she wanted to do while there. She plans the day and they follow her lead.                                                                                                                                                                                   

See, my parents are different. When my children are at their house, their attention is on them 24/7. Mommy doesn’t exist while in their company. They play, dance, sing, and pretend. They treat her like royality.

But this temporary farewell is only the beginning to many more to come.

My daughter said her goodbyes with hugs and kisses, but was chomping at the bit to get the car moving. Her almost 18 month old brother tried jumping out my arms to get one more kiss from his sister. Peeling him back, we stepped away from the car. He yelled, “bye bye” and waved. Sister then replied, “don’t worry brother, I’ll be back before you know it!” He smiled contently.

While the car was backing slowly down the driveway, Nana said, “you’ll come with us next time.” He giggled with excitement. He seemed content with knowing that information, but we both missed her already…

He’s starting to understand when she leaves, sleeps, and wakes.

He staggered back into the quiet house, hand in hand with mommy, then sat in his room and played Thomas by himself. Mommy attempted to read him some books, but he wanted alone time. I think he missed his sister as much as mommy did.

It’s amazing the amount of noise my 3 year old brings to this house on a daily basis, but my home is deafening without her in it…

Both big wheels remain still. There isn’t a dramatic car chase going on between both of them.

My freshly cleaned floors don’t have skid marks on them.

My laptop is shut and Sheriff Callie songs aren’t looping on repeat.

The sun is fading and the walls are cluttered with darkness...

One night is too long without her giggly face.

But one night is all she needs with her Nana and Poppy. She’ll come running through my doors just as ecstatic to see me, as she was to see them the day before.

As she continues to age, I have to accept that she will leave me for periods of time throughout the day. But I’m not sure I’ll ever be ok with her not being with me all the time –just the same with her brother. I’ve heard parent’s say, “I can’t wait until my child goes to school.” I don’t know how they feel that way, because my heart aches with just the thought. If it were up to me, I would keep my children in a bubble, away from harm and this cruel world they will grow in. I had children so I could raise them and be with them, not to be away from them.

Apparently, growing is not only for children. It’s for parent’s to progress alongside their children –to mature along with them and develop at their rate.

As parents, we’re all learning this together.

But, we can’t just do the best with what we have…

We have to make it the best, no matter what.