Mid Week Humor: Organic or Chips?

On some days, my parenting borders a fine line of my children eating nothing but homemade organic foods at our table. And other days, my children split a bag of sour cream and onion chips in front of the television, while I hide in my bedroom.

www.jackyhappydays.blogspot.com

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Sister and brother

For the past three years, my two children have embarked on quite the journey among their relationship. I have heard my daughter whine every time her little brother came across her path. Then, it transitioned to her allowing him around, but, as long as she was the boss. To the current stage, where they are both equals and best friends. And are rarely seen without each other. This image that unfolds before my eyes is a magical one. It's an image that I have waited for. An image that has played out in my head many times before. And I'm sure, it's an image my son has waited for his whole life.

Motherhood and sharing

Throughout my motherhood journey, I am continuously learning a lot about myself. I'm in my mid 30s and still, I sometimes find myself a stranger in my own skin. I've learned that I have more patience and understand that I ever knew existed within myself. I've learned that I could love two little beings more than I love breathing. I've easily learned to put myself last and I've learned to mind my words, because words are more stronger than anything physical. I've also learned, I'm a completely different parent than I ever thought I'd be. 

However, my strong personality is sometimes a handicap with growth and development. I'm always trying to do everything myself and I don't like reaching out to others for help, unless I'm backed into a corner without much choice. Asking for help makes me feel weak, like I'm not doing everything I can to accomplish it myself. 

So, it's no wonder that in the 5&3 years of my children's lives, they have been in my possession 99.9% of the time, with the occasional stay at Nana and Poppy's house for only a few hours. I've always felt like they're my children and my responsibility. And quite frankly, I really enjoy being around my children and don't have an urge to get away from them. However, over the past few months, I've realized that reaching out doesn't mean I'm weak, it means, I'm sharing my children with my family members. And that concept makes it a little easier to swallow.

Looking back, some of my greatest childhood memories were with my grandparents. I could vividly remember all the love and attention my brother and I had while in their care because, they were retired and able to solely focus all their energy on us. I learned how to draw, color, and craft from my poppy and I remember baking cookies with my grandmother. And, just watching Charlie Brown on their dark brown recliner, while we talked about free association topics.

Lately, I've been taking the opportunities that come my way. If my step mother in law asks to take my children for a few hours, instead of finding every excuse to say no because I feel bad for "pawning" my children off on her, I say yes, then I make plans with my husband. Because, as much as I love being around my children, I also want our family members to have that opportunity to get to know my children on a deeper level, instead of only seeing them a few hours over holidays and special occasions.

It's still a work in progress, but having grandma and grandpa or Oma stop over for a few hours doesn't seem so much as a burden anymore. Instead, I view it as, my children have an advantage to make memories that they will fondly look back upon. My children will have time to build lasting relationships outside the home, outside of mommy. They'll create similar memories that remain so vividly in my own brain. 

I know it's benefited my children because when I walk through the door into my home, neither child immediately runs to me, but instead, they whine for grandma and grandpa to stay longer.

It's in that moment that my type A personality slowly regresses and the realization of yet another change throughout this motherhood journey emerges. And like all the rest, I embrace it and learn to grow around it. I use it as a guide to navigate the path of righteousness among my children. And for me, one of the hardest parts of motherhood isn't parenting, it's learning to share my children with the world.

Lake life

Today was the type of day where the sun kissed our skin a little longer than usual. The sky was almost a translucent blue and the water was warm like the air, but turned cold against our bodies after hours passed. And just about the time when the sun started to dip below the tree line, my son began swimming in the lake with his sister. A sight that isn't a constant, as he is more cautious and fearful than all of us put together. But today, he conquered that cautious side of himself and donned his vest and tube and swam right beside his sister and myself. We cheered him on and his confidence grew. And when his little body pushed through the 2ft water and he climbed onto the floating dock, he danced around yelling, "I did it! I did it!" Then, his sister climbed right beside him to congratulate him on his brave accomplishment, afterwards, they both hopped back in the water, where they swam the evening away... Just one of the many pleasures of motherhood that I'm able to bask in daily.

Flower power

Last year, we were hiking through our back woods and my daughter stumbled upon a beautiful yellow flower. At that time, it was a single stalk with one vibrant yellow flower that peaked out from the layers of dried leaves and downed branches. My daughter wanted to take it back with us and plant it in our flower bed. I wasn't sure if it would make it or not, but she watered it twice a day, everyday. And it not only survived, but it quadrupled in size. Now this year, both my son and daughter care for the flowers and brag about how beautiful they are to everyone who stops by.

(This is the original flower that my daughter dug up from last year)

Mid Week Humor: Grocery store behaviors

I can't complain about my children misbehaving, because they rarely do. And I'm grateful for that because, it's usually just me and them in all facets of the outside world. But today, both my children, in unison, behaved like they were in an apocalyptic end of world situation at the grocery store. There was a lot of screaming, loud noises, crawling under objects, quickly grabbing various items from the shelves as we ran by, and I swear I saw a zombie at one point. Although, the zombie may have been my reflection in a passing mirror... I almost walked ahead of them and turned back saying, "children, where are your parents?" Motherhood.

www.jackyhappydays.blogspot.com

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Rebels around a camp fire

Some days, you just have to decline the everyday table manners and throw a blanket on the ground and have dinner around a fire... Why? Because it's a Monday, and some manners are occasionally meant to be broken and life is meant to be lived without the constant restraints of walls.

Daddy's home

After working about 2 months straight of overtime, my husband took the past week off from work. It was a nice change in my daily routine as the months prior, he left our home before 8:00 am and returned back home close to 9:00 pm every weekday. Our children haven't spent much time with him, other than on the weekends, but even then, our weekends have been filled with teeball games, birthday parties, and endless yard work that is on a constant cycle of repeat. 

By this week, I was ready for a break. But, let's not get too crazy, I'm a mom, so I never actually get a break from life, but I was able to talk to another human during the day and that alone, was worth its weight in gold. 

And with him being around, there were days when both children were fighting with each other over anything and everything or in a constant state of neediness, and he stepped in. 

He not only stepped in, but, picked up our whining son when he was sad. Or our daughter when she was overtired. He scooped them up and walked with them, caressing their heads as they laid upon his shoulders. He talked sweetly in their little ears as he rocked back and forth. He acted silly with them to entice them to laugh or to get them to crack a smile. 

The days where I felt like I had nothing left to give, he was my back up. A system that we never utilized before. He was there to hold my hand when tears streamed down my face, as our daughter walked out of the school for her last day. And he was there to hug her tightly and tell her how proud he was. 

He was there for our usual bedtime routine of stories, lots of stories, hugs, lots of hugs, and kisses, lots of kisses. But instead of me laying with our children, it was him who our daughter held onto. She gripped his hand so tightly, as if she never wanted to let go. 90 % of the time, I had to go back up and retrieve him from the bedroom as they both peacefully fell asleep.  

I relied heavily on him this past week and I was sad to see him return to work. I never realized how much of the normal day to day small things he misses when his days aren't rushed. But I was glad he was there for her big moments, as he wouldn't miss those for the world. And I know our children were happy daddy was home all day, even if it was only for a week.

Mid Week Humor: Things kids say

Son: Mama, could I have more Batman guys?
Me: Sorry, not right now. But I'm sure Santa will bring you lots.
Son: Can he bring some more tomorrow?
Me: Tomorrow's not Christmas and we don't have our tree up.
Son: Then lets put up our tree!
Me: That's not quite how it works.
Son: That sounds exactly how it works...

Touche kid... Touche.

www.jackyhappydays.blogspot.com

*You can join the conversation by adding your parenting humor to the comments below. Or add the hashtag thehappydayshumor to any of the social media sites that I belong to.*

Behind childhood expectations...

Friday had a thick overcast above our heads. The air was muggy, but cool, and the clouds were a fierce gray with rain occasionally sprinkling down when they became too full. 

My daughter and I stepped out of our car as we walked hand in hand towards her school's doors. She chatted in my ear about the weather, nonstop, as we stepped onto the sidewalk to join the other parents waiting by the door. 

Today, was the day she had been waiting for all year, field day. 

A day to play games. This was right up her alley.

My daughter didn't hesitate walking in that day. Usually, she draws out the goodbye process, turning it into a repetitious act that requires more hugs, kisses, and secret hand shakes than humanly possible. But field day was different. She knew I was going to be on the grounds and she felt more at ease walking away from me.

I was there volunteering to aid assistance with her field day. I stood among a sea of fellow parents who were all eager to start the festivities. We were quickly separated into our groups, while the children all stayed in their classrooms, and we filed out of the gym and onto the outside grounds to set up our stations. I was very lucky to be partnered up with my friend who I adore spending time with and we met another great fellow mama, who was very sweet too. Our station was one of the better ones, not just because I was biased, but it was a general consensus among the children. It was called Drip Drip Drop. Just like Duck Duck Goose, but with water. It's literally played how it sounds. You sit in a circle and drip a drop on one persons head, walk some more, drip another drop, walk some more, then drop the whole cup onto someone else. Then run around the outside circle to get back into their spot before getting tagged. The kids loved it. 

The field day was set up with grades K-5, with a few children from each grade on a team. So every team contained a child from every grade. It wasn't focused on competition and winning, but teamwork instead. You couldn't get a point for your team unless you won as a team. I loved the idea and the concept.

After the horn blew and the first round of children entered our station, I quickly scanned the open field to search for my daughter. Thankfully, each grade was designated a certain color tee shirt so it helped narrow down the process. I scanned and scanned with no avail, until about ten minutes later. And I swear her and I have some sort of soul connection because I happened to look up to my right and I finally spotted her. But when I did, she was crying and a teacher was already consoling her. I told my group I would be back and I had to tend to my daughter. I ran across the open field like I was running from a burning building. Mid way, she saw me and released herself from the teacher and ran towards me. I scooped her up, kissed and hugged her, and walked over to the teacher. She explained she tried to comfort her, but there wasn't much else she could do. I asked if my daughter asked for me and she replied yes, but she wasn't going to take her and search for me. I huffed and walked away from the crowd with my daughter still in my arms and softly spoke to her, consoling her myself. I knew she was upset because she became overwhelmed with the crowd of unfamiliar people. And, she knew I was supposed to be there, but among the 600 children and over 20+ volunteers, it was like finding a needle in a haystack for a 5 year old. So, I showed her where I was standing and explained that I will be staying at that station the entire day and the children will rotate through each station. Once she understood the process and knew I would be in one spot the entire time for whenever she wanted to glance over to me and wave, which she did countless times, and she looked relieved.       

She quickly calmed herself down so she could return to her group and I stayed for her first turn to watch her throw a football through a ring, which she did, three times. She said she felt much better and was able to return to her friends. I obliged and told her how much I loved her and I would keep and eye out for her the whole time. I walked back to my station and continued my day...

When a floater parent occasionally stopped by my station, I would take that opportunity to sneak away and go watch my daughter play in some games (and to double check that she was fine). Each time I showed up, she was playing with friends and enjoying the games. She was happy and waved frantically at me. Once I was confident she was secure, I'd go back to my station.

Towards the last 15 minutes or so of the day, PTO coordinators were walking by to explain how we were going to end; what to do, and where to go. Then one coordinator stopped before me and asked if I was the mom to the little girl who was crying earlier. I answered yes. She was quick to offer up some judgmental comment about how they can't cater to children in school age. She also stated how her children are living all over the country and that children need to be mature enough to leave home (In my head I'm thinking, calm down lady, she's only 5 years old. But I knew what she was getting at. It's the same judgment that attachment parents frequently receive about something we're doing). I held my tongue to the best of my ability, but quickly rebutted along the lines, "Yeah, I get that, but she's only in kindergarten. And she's a young kindergartener (She has a late August birthday). Intellectually, she's placing higher, but emotionally, she's just different. But she'll catch up, on her own time. You wouldn't become frustrated or say you won't cater to a child if they struggled intellectually or even if they weren't growing physically like all their classmates. No, you wouldn't. You would figure out how to work with them and how to make the environment better suited for their needs. Because growing physically and learning comes to different people at different times. So then, why must it be different for a child who isn't where all her classmates are emotionally?"

Needless to say, she didn't have a response and just said, "to each their own" and walked away.

There's not much I honestly say I hate, but I hate that kind of response. I hate that people expect all children to fit into a one size fits all box to make their job/life easier. But, it's not that simple. Everyone is their own person, at least that's what I'm teaching my children -not to be like everyone else. If my daughter needed me to be with her the entire day so she could enjoy field day, you bet your ass I would have left my station and done so. 

I know my children are different from other children. And, I love that my daughter isn't where all the other children are emotionally. It makes her, her. But I'd say, it's because she's home all day with me. She's in the same home all the time. She isn't passed around between parents or day cares or grandparents. At home, she isn't told to go play in another room by herself. I play with her/them. I engage daily with them. We do things together, all the time. So right now, she isn't used to all types of change. That doesn't make her immature, it makes her unexposed. And exposure to school and their routines will help her develop and grow and become familiar with change. Isn't that what school is for? Developing and growing on all levels.  

Each year, she'll get better and better at it. She already surpassed my expectations this year, as opposed to last year. And next year, I'm sure she'll do even better. But, I will continue to walk my daughter to the front doors of that school every day and give her the biggest hug and kiss, and do our secret handshake, until the day she becomes too embarrassed for me to step out of the car. Because contrary to popular belief, that day will come. That day will come too soon. That day when she's hopping in the car with her friends and driving herself to school. Nonchalantly giving me a quick kiss goodbye, while trying to avoid a hug. 

I'll never understand the logic in forcing children to behave like adults at such a young age. My daughter is only 5 years old. In the grand scheme of life, she's still an infant. I still hold her, carry her, and sometimes rock her to sleep at night. She's only this young once. She's only a child once, but an adult for the rest of her life. Then once she crosses that threshold into adulthood, childhood is over. Then comes life, with vast responsibilities, and accepting responsibilities for your own actions. So why must we rush that? I sure as hell don't want to.

I want my children to enjoy every part of each stage in their life. I want them to savor it, take their time, and move on when they're ready. I want them to always feel secure, no matter who they're with or where they are. I want them to always be soft, sensitive, and be their own person, whoever that person will become.     

And if it takes them a little longer to get there...

...Then so be it...

The world isn't going anywhere any time soon.

Mid Week Humor: Alpha child

My daughter and I are both alphas. Most of our days, we mesh very well. However, on some days, I feel like we're both climbing the same endless ladder to reach the top. On other days, I feel like I'm hanging off the side of the ladder, clinging with one hand, as she steps up another rung over my dangling body... Motherhood.

www.jackyhappydays.blogspot.com

**You can join the conversation by adding your parenting humor or revelation in the comments below. Or add the hashtag thehappydayshumor to any of the social media sites I belong to.**