And a bit scatter-brained, kind of like a computer with several opened tabs, but reflecting nonetheless...
I'm left with a to-do list a mile long -with things I wanted to accomplish that just never manifested... It was either there wasn't enough time, not enough money, and some, just plain laziness.
But all in all, my year was pretty spectacular... It wasn't anything fancy or vibrant, but for me, it was satisfying on my own scale.
*Family vacations, day trips, watching my daughter perform, watching my son step out of his shell, personal fetes, and mainly, everyone being healthy and happy...
As for me personally?
hmmm... Well, after a lot of self reflection, I find there is some things that I need to work on as I move forward...
I continue to put myself on the back burner, as usual. Something I struggle with a lot as a mom - I have yet to figure out how to balance being a person and a mom at the same time... And, I exhaust all my energy into my children, that my identity has been lost in the mix.
I also wanted to put more time into my blog, but instead, I ended up putting even less time into it this year.
So, if we were to talk resolutions...
I want to continue to be an active, engaged mom. I wouldn't change anything on that front. But, I'd love to have a little more one on one time with my husband, outside of parenting. I also want to blog more and focus on creating a brand for myself (But, I have stopped typing about 20 times during this post just to answer questions, get drinks, snacks, and listen to my daughter talk about how cool her favorite new song is - so there's that)…
I also have been considering changing up my blog a bit. See, right now, my writing only communicates one side of me. The serious mom, who is fighting for children's rights and documents events that demonstrate how to handle parenting peacefully... But, there is another side to me - a sarcastic, funny, and sometimes, inappropriate humor type person. I guess you can say, that is who I am, outside of being a mom.
It's funny because, my parenting style doesn't quite fit into one bracket. In real life, I consider myself a multitude of personas (and sadly, that makes navigating mom groups very difficult). I am a peaceful parent, uschooler, respectful parent, free range, and ironically, a helicopter parent all wrapped up into one. I'm progressive, but still an early 80s child at heart... I kind of pick and choose from each style and combine them to make my own. But, I add a lot of humor and sarcasm -Like, that is the dominate of it all. And, that's the side my children display the most of, too.
So, when I do navigate mom groups, I mostly see parents are all one way, with no exceptions. Their children always seem to be perfect and quiet -and everyone seems to be so serious. Whereas, I have this really neat balance where my children are really great kids, but they're funny. They're loud, talkative, and wild. But, sweet and loving. And, I'm rarely serious...
So, my thought process was, to continue writing about what I already do. But, focus more on the ability to blend parenting styles. So, you don't have to be an all or nothing type parent. You can totally be a peaceful parent, but be humorous as well. You can be an attachment parent, but dislike cosleeping like it's the early centuries and the plague is on the rise (I hate cosleeping -but my 8 year old daughter still doesn't sleep through the night). You can be an unschooler, but say no to your child. You can be a free range parent, but helicopter the same time.
I want to be less serious, some of the time...
And, labels are sometimes restricting... Also, they seem to continuously validate or score you as a parent -and who needs that constant hassle?
Being a parent, is just simply putting your children's needs ahead of your own, it doesn't mean you have to like it, you just got to do it - because, it's only for such a short time and sooner than you know it, it'll all be over with. And then, you can be whoever the heck you want to be after that...
In the 5 years of blogging, I bet my readers never knew any of that. I did try to do a mid week humor, but writing jokes without being able to physically animate them, is a lot harder than you'd think. Because, the true essence of me, is borderline obnoxious... As my friends say (and the people who were backstage with me at theatre), I learned how to whisper in an airport hanger with people using chainsaws...
So, I'm thinking, I might start doing a video mid week humor... That's an idea I've been toying around with -I do already post a lot of videos on my Instagram account, so check them out (the_happy_days).
I haven't figured it all out yet and I'd love some feedback...
But one thing for sure is, I do want to start doing more for me and create a space in which I feel accomplished outside of just being a mom -Although, just saying that out loud, sounds really scary... However, I do have to say, it will be hard to top, because being a mom has given me such a sense of accomplishment and confidence in my life.
It brought me to where I am today...
On the other hand, change is good... And growing is even better...
But, balance is the best of all.
And having balance, will be my new mantra of 2019...
I look forward to seeing what the new year will bring...
And, I'm looking forward to hearing your thoughts as well...
**Here's a look back on some moments throughout our year -
Happy New Year!
No comments:
Post a Comment