Mid Week Revelation: Different responsiblities

I've realized that the definition of being sick is very different for a man than it is for a woman -and so are the responsibilities... Motherhood, it's not for the weak.

Sometimes there just isn't enough candy

Confession? I sometimes find parenting very difficult –not difficult like an account during tax season, but more like an Alaskan crab fisherman during the winter months. Sometimes there just isn’t enough candy in the day to bribe with and begging for the whining to stop doesn’t hold much ground. Sometimes, the vision of speeding off in the car, fist clenching, wild eyed, with my hair blowing in the wind seems more like a dream.

  

I realize I am blessed with my three year old, because she is a really good girl –but she’s still three years old. Meaning, she is testing boundaries all the time, she’s opinionated (like her mommy), and she tries to dominate most situations (again, like her mommy). But a new phase has risen up, she is constantly whining –over anything and everything. And after 12 + hours of hearing it, I’m willing to give her a whole bag of chips to take into her room and quietly eat them by herself. My son, who is approaching 11 months, has become my appendage. If I even turn my back to him the slightest, he screams bloody murder as if I left the room. So here’s a typical scenario, I have one child who is whining about wanting a drink this second –not two seconds, and while I’m getting that drink, I have my son screaming because I’m facing the refrigerator. This happens VERY frequently throughout the day.

I also feel like there isn’t enough time in a day to get everything accomplished that needs to be done. I am ridden with guilt that sometimes I can’t spend all the time I would like to with my children –especially my daughter who feels it the most. With being a stay at home mom, I have to do everything, besides raise the kids. After breakfast, I’m usually baking or steaming or boiling foods for my son to consume (or for the household). Then when he goes down for his nap, I’m either cutting or blending those foods for storage. His nap time would be the perfect opportunity to spend quality time with my daughter, however, I find his naps are the only time I could get productive things achieved during the day. Thanks to my husband, I now take one night a week to spend quality time with just my daughter. We go to the bookstore for story time, then window shop at the toy store –she thinks she’s in absolute heaven when we do this, and that makes me feel even worse.

Then with all that stress ensuing, something miraculous happens. When I’m on the brink of my head exploding, my daughter must sense it, she then comes over to give me the biggest hug in the world and a sweet kiss on the cheek, ending with I love you mommy. She must also sense that I need to get things done at times, so she started encouraging her brother to join in and play -They are just starting to explore together. She quietly reads to him and shows him all that books have to offer. He chases after her in his walker as she speeds off on her big wheel. I stop whatever I’m doing and take a moment to watch these blissful milestones. Then the thought crosses my mind that this craziness is getting better. I will always get stressed out, but these two gorgeous kids will always keep me grounded.

Motherhood is tough and I didn’t believe that for a minute until I started living it. In my opinion, parenting can be as tough as you want it to be. If you take the time to not only be a part of your children lives, but to actually live it with them too, then you’ll reap so many rewards. I know all my children’s thoughts and emotions before they express them, I can anticipate their reaction even before they know how they’ll react –and they know the same with me. Don’t get me wrong, I’m stressed 5 out of 7 days a week, but I wouldn’t change that chaos for anything else in the world. I am beyond grateful that my husband is content with us living on one paycheck and coming home to a sometime frantic, still dressed in pajamas, wife. I love this chaotic lifestyle and I can’t believe I’m already 3 years into it. My children are my world and this world is just temporarily chaotic. 

Mid Week Revelation: TV

I've realized that I let my children watch way more TV than I'll ever really admit... Motherhood, it's not for the weak.

It's a sibling thing

I don’t know about everyone, but for me, when I was pregnant with baby #2 I was border line neurotic worrying how my daughter was going to take to her little brother. I didn’t know if she would go about her life and pretend he wasn’t there –never accepting him. Or scream and tantrum the second I went to his aid. My daughter was the only one for 28 months. She didn’t have to share her toys, belongings, or worst –mommy’s time (eeeek!).

I grew up with a brother who was 26 months older than me, I worshipped him. We instantly took to each other and to this day, we are extremely close. He was my best friend growing up –a constant person who was always guaranteed to be in my life. He accepted me and always made sure I was allowed to play with him and his friends.

So when I was expecting a boy the second time around, I had visions of my brother and my relationship –all the fun we had and the incredible bond we still maintain to this day. And I couldn’t contain the joy the memories brought to me.

Thankfully, my daughter is a good girl. She would give someone her last piece of food if they needed it. She shares, gives, and is grateful for anything and everything. So, I wasn’t too surprised when she welcomed her little brother with open arms into our lives. She had a few hesitant moments –like when he was going through a crying period, or when he wants nothing more than to be attached to mommy. But she trudges forward and continues to accept him.

Now that my 10.5 month old is mobile, she is overly concerned about particles on the floor or if a toy is too small for him to have. If he falls, she picks him up. If he cries, she hugs and kisses him. She watches over him like a hawk and is forever concerned for his well-being.

She’s graduated from saying “mommy, can you put him away” to “I love you my honey bunny” (her nickname for him) in 10.5 short months.

And it’s not only her. When I watch him looking at her, I can’t imagine another human being loving another person the way he loves her. My daughter loves her brother, but she knows a life without him. But my son doesn’t know a single second without his big sister in his life –he adores her like royality.

I am beyond grateful that I have the opportunity to watch these two grow, laugh, and love. They are giving me a gift that I can never repay. Siblings have a bond that is incredible –they will stand by each other through thick and thin. They will love each other despite flaws that others see. Hopefully, these two will grow up to maintain their friendship like my brother and I did. 

Mid Week Revelation: Appearance

I've realized that 90% of the time I look worse going to bed than the average person looks waking up in the morning... Motherhood, it's not for the weak.

Food for Thought

I think food must be the most talked about topic among parents (at least out of my group of friends). What you feed your child? How much you feed them? How often? Etc… Everyone has an opinion in some direction and everyone has come across a person who is aggressive about their ideals. They think their way is the perfect way and you can’t deter from it (These are the people who make me feel guilty for having vanilla cookies in my cart). I know we all have seen the families with their shopping carts filled with soda, chips, and frozen meals. Then on the opposite side, you see families who have their shopping carts filled with nothing but organic brand foods. In general, I’m a moderation type person and never an extremist in any direction. So, I wanted to share my opinions because I too have strong opinions on the way kids should eat, but the difference is I believe there is a middle ground. I believe you could eat healthy without buying just organic, but avoiding certain products and ingredients. I also understand that life goes on and sometimes there just isn’t enough hours in a day to make a meal and a drive thru is of utter convenience.

So here it is -I truly believe feeding your child only homegrown, homemade food is the best way to go... I believe it, doesn't mean I always live it –sometimes eating pure, real foods is not always realistic. I’m not a mom who won’t allow my child to have the same candy everyone else is eating because of its ingredients. Thankfully, I’m that way because I have a 3 year old who often goes on food strikes and the only substance I could get her to consume is deli ham, hot dogs, or frozen waffles (ugh, I know).

If she's not on a food strike, I will provide my staples food as pure as possible. For example, we don’t buy frozen premade foods (only for food strikes), products with dyes or preservatives, and no high fructose corn syrup. But, I do not buy all organic foods. I think people are under the misconception that boxed mac and cheese is better because it’s organic –My thought is, it’s still processed and broken down to be powered cheese. I’d rather make homemade mac and cheese that only requires flour, pasta, butter, milk, and cheese. To me, meals that are made from scratch with one or two whole ingredients are better for you than organic. Healthy means real food you could see, not what a package or brand says is healthy.

Also, if you buy and cook smart, healthy snacks and meals could be cheaper than you think. For example, I don’t buy much snacks, my daughter doesn’t really know what snacks are outside of goldfish crackers (children’s snacks are very expensive). Her snacks are local fruits and veggies. If it’s off season, I buy organic off of the dirty dozen list (you could google it). The rest, I buy non organic. And to be honest, if I’m short on money, I’ll buy non organic off the dirty dozen too –in my opinion, pesticide contained fruits and veggies are safer than fruit snacks, or any other processed snack products out there.

Plus, you don’t always have to buy premade meals to make life easier –you could make your own premade meals. Think simple about it –make a batch of homemade chili (not the packet one), homemade meatballs (without sauce), homemade pasta sauce, homemade fried chicken fingers, homemade beef and/or chicken soup, homemade gnocchi, homemade pierogies, and freeze them in individual containers for an easy defrost later. Also, our local grocery store sells ripe produce at a reduced cost. I buy them, cut them up and freeze individually (instead of buying already prepackaged frozen veggies). My freezer is usually the most filled compartment in my house.

As a parent, I’ve learned to trust my gut instinct. To do what I feel is best for my family. Some days I’m golden with preparing healthy well rounded meals and other days, my daughter is eating ice cream for breakfast, while my son is eating frozen waffles. Children are going to have preferences with certain tastes –they like what they do and dislike what they don’t. They’ll go through days when they love fruits and other days where dollar store cookies are the number one hit. Moderation is key. We should follow their lead, and with our own guidance, make executive decisions for us, not society.

Mid Week Revelation: Motherhood problems

I've realized that mothers are living every moment of everyday with a bladder (which only needs to contain .5 ML of pee) that will leak the very second you laugh, cough, or sneeze... Motherhood, it's not for the weak.

Changes

When you become a parent, life is pretty much repetitious… Things are guaranteed –like you know you’ll always find a cheerio somewhere on the floor.

When I hear silence for a few minutes, I know I’ll walk into my children’s play room expecting to see my daughter reading, with 50+ books piled around her and an empty shelf in the background. I’ve seen this image thousands of times -it’s as predictable as the sun rise.

However, this time I see her sitting, diligently working on a lacing craft -Very unexpected.

In my household, the statement, if my child is quiet they’re doing something wrong, does not hold truth. If there is quiet, it usually means my daughter is being creative or participating in some kind of play.

It is strange to me how much she has changed so far. How her interest and likes unravel into something completely different. She might not be the same child who reads for hours, but she is turning into a girl who loves playing pretend preschool, crafts, tea parties, and play-doh. She is a girl who is entering into a whole new chapter in her life… A preschooler.