Long weekends were meant for this...

After my son and I picked my daughter up from her half day of school, we loaded the car and headed to my parent's rental on the lake. It was a Thursday, the Thursday before the summer kick off weekend. The temperatures were just perfect for swimming and the sun was brightly shining down on us. The water was still a little cold, cold for adults, but never too cold for children. 

My parent's are renting a cabin on the lake for a few weeks over this summer. The cabin sits nestled among the established trees that surround the slanted roof. It has big thick logs with chinking in between the small cracks and a large front porch, with a hand built wooden table and lots of chairs to enjoy the view. Inside, the place is modest, but it has windows on every wall, which allows an abundance of natural light to shine and circulates a cool breeze through the long sheer curtains.  

Our feet weren't even onto the front porch before my children begged to go swimming. I swear my children are part fish. They would swim in a puddle if they could fit their bodies into it. So, I quickly changed them into their swim gear and we headed towards the sandy beach area.

It wasn't long after, that our family friends arrived to join us. And, my husband surprised us by arriving earlier than expected. Our guests brought quite a feast to indulge in while we sat at the wooden table on the front porch, overlooking the lake. 

We spend our duration in the water, jumping off the docks, digging in the sand, and swimming next to the fish that swam so close to us that they sometimes grazed our ankles. By the second day, the water was much warmer and many more motor boats filled the lake, causing bigger waves against the docks at a rapid pace -according to my children, the waves were the best part.

I ran through the 3 feet of water, grasping two cords attached to boogey boards, which both children laid their bodies across. We zipped and zoomed over the waves and around the fish, towards the floating dock. We pretended we were stranded on a floating island, awaiting rescue. We fought off pirates and big sea creatures that threatened our shelter. We eventually had to jump into the water again and swim to a raft that floated in our sights... A raft that our family friend spent the next 20 minutes or so, pulling both my children around on.

We ended the last night on the covered front porch, shielding us from the sun. We enjoyed a table full of food and great people, with great conversation. Two of our family friends (a father and daughter) are both greatly privileged musicians from our local area and they played an acoustic guitar and sang songs for us... 

There's a nostalgic energy that permeates the air when you're sitting on a porch attached to a log cabin that is sitting on a lake. It brings you back to the olden days where families ate dinners outside because it was too hot inside. Where you made room around a small table to fit as many people as you possibly could -which we totally did by the way. And there was always more food than you could eat.


We weren't short on laughs or making memories.

Just a little water, free time, great company, and lots of food made for a great long weekend... 

And if this was a glimpse of what this summer has to offer, I'm readily awaiting...


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A heavy day...

Today was one of those days where I was grateful for half day kindergarten. On a normal day, I love the extra time that I get to spend with my daughter and the idea of a 5 & 6 year old not spending repetitious hours learning in a structured classroom.

But today, as I packed the car, readying the drive to PM kindergarten, I received a robo call that the district was evacuating all students due to an on campus threat. A call that every parent with a child in a school system dreads. Thankfully, my daughter was still in my possession, otherwise, I think I would have driven up to the school like a NASCAR racer, with no concern for my own well-being.

Delightedly, after hours of investigations and sweeps from various local and state departments, no bomb was found and thankfully, every child arrived home safely. 

Sadly, this is the realization of the world we live in. But we're extremely grateful, in this incident, everything was kosher and no one was harmed. 

After my blood pressure lowered, my children and I took advantage of our afternoon free of school and went to my parent's lake house summer rental to play in the water on this 80 degree day. 

We put a positive spin on a heavy day. And tonight, I'll hold my children a little closer with the realization that things could have ended very differently today. And, that not all parent's who receive that kind of phone call, are as lucky as I am tonight.

Once upon a time, there was an outdoor BBQ...

Today was the first consistent day of sunshine. A day where the sky was blue and the gray, gloomy clouds were tucked away for another day. The temperatures grazed above 75 degrees and it was a Friday. Even though I'm a stay at home mom, Fridays are still a magical day of the week. It's the day where my husband comes home early and bedtime doesn't have to be rushed. There's room for those extra cuddles and one extra story, or five, if need be.

With the weather being gorgeous and displaying the first official sign of spring, we grabbed the opportunity and had an outdoor BBQ and fire. 

My husband cooked the steaks on the grill, while a pot of rice pilaf simmered on the side gas burner. Our children played in our woodsy backyard, beyond the grill. They climbed trees, played tag, and swung on their swing set. Then after dinner, while my husband and I sat on our weathered folding chairs around the fire, our children pretended they were on a busy town mystery with Huckle. They hiked around our shallow woods and followed clues to find different imaginative items. 

My husband and I sat and stared at the fire, listening to the magical adventures that were occurring right around us. We sat quietly for a few minutes, admiring the fun they were having. He and I talked about how lovely our view was and how lucky were are to have this life... And were quite astonished that they were playing something for a duration without one of them whining about the other. 

Moments later, our children joined us again, this time it was to make smores... Because, who doesn't love smores?

But let's face it, the magical moment that played out in my head, didn't matriculate in reality. Our relaxing fire, quickly turned into a stressful game of, making it through the evening without a child falling into the fire. After their consumption of smores and our "around the fire" stories became too boring, my son and daughter wanted to play in the smoke that permeated the patio area. Far enough from the fire, but for a helicopter mom like myself, 100 yards is too close to a burning fire. Just about the time that my blood pressure raised to scaring levels, both children wandered off to play house in their play area under the tree.  

Up until this point, I was actually starting to believe the hype that my children didn't argue. I was mislead to think that we have passed that stage. Well it turned out, mine were just late bloomers, or they had this whole thing all planned out. I'm not quite sure. But lately, something as simple as playing house can turn into a court room debate. Both sides arguing about something they had or they wanted more than the other, then coming to me to prove their side. So, after hearing my children fight over a climbing rope for about 15 minutes, I called it a night. I then carried two, overtired, slippery fish children, upstairs into their bedrooms. While they offered up every explanation on how they weren't tired.  

I laid them in their beds and cuddled them close, while I reassured them that I understood how tired they were. I told them I knew they didn't mean to argue or to carry on, but they are both still little and are trying real hard to keep it all together. So, I promised them another fire on a weekend, so we could do it at a much earlier time, instead of late after dinner. They both gladly accepted and we carried out our night of stories, cuddles, and me softly singing nursery rhyme songs as they fell asleep.

Motherhood has taught me a lot of things, but one in particular is that nothing is predictable. One evening that is planned out one way, will almost guaranteed, turn out a completely different way. Having a 3&5 year old also comes with its fair share of patience and understanding. They are both still learning to navigate through all the emotions and stress life serves up on a daily basis. They are still at the age where they'll cry at the drop of a dime, laugh like best friends, and fight over something that is completely irrational to an adult. 

But to them, it's important. 

And they're trying. 

They're trying to figure it all out. 

And when they do, it'll all make sense to them. 

But until then, they require all the understanding of a saint, even on the days when you think all the arguing, crying, and irrationality will drive you over the edge. 

It's at that moment, you realize just how much you're learning from your children, as they are from you. You realize that life is not meant to be picture perfect, but instead, reality is perfection. You realize they are teaching you to have more patience than you ever thought possible. Patience with allowing them to make mistakes, act out, argue with their sibling, and be irrational to learn how to develop. And, they teach you understanding because you realize, even as an adult, we all act unreasonable at times. And, life is all about learning and growing, even for adults.



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Mid Week Humor: Distinct sounds

Sorry for having the mid week humor a day late. We have been doing a lot of running around the last few days and I haven't yet entered into the 21st century and cannot post blogs from my phone. And last night, after my softball game, I was sans kids and walked aimlessly around Target for a good hour... If you haven't done it, I highly recommend it.

Mid Week Humor:

There's something about the distinct sound of an entire bin of matchbox cars being emptied onto the floor that makes me immediately want to cry. It's kind of like Pavlov's Theory, but instead of dogs and salivating, it's cars and crying... Motherhood.

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*Join the conversation by adding your comments below of something funny that happened during your parenting adventures. You could also add your comments on social media by using the hashtag thehappydayshumor.

13 years later... Life changes, for better or for worse.

Today marks my 7th wedding anniversary to my husband, but, 13 years ago, was when he first walked into my life. Yes, so far parenthood has passed by with a blink of an eye, but my relationship with my husband flew by at an alarming rate. 

I was young, very young, and he was young, still older than me, but younger nonetheless. I was newly 21 years when this handsome, arrogant man stood before me. He was so sure of himself, confident with his words, and steadfast. He was like no one I've ever met. 

Our first meeting was brief, but he left such an impression on me, that I was the one who seeked him out afterwards. I was still in college and it was field hockey season, so I was pretty busy with school, late practices, and games that consumed hours out of my day. He was already out of college and working swing shift hours, which made meeting up a fete. But after living the first couple of weeks on the phone and random quick encounters, we went on our first date. I'm not a fancy person and thankfully, neither was he. We went to local restaurant after one of my late games and ate a nacho supreme and drank soda. We talked about 1980's WWF (world wrestling federation) and 60's and 70's music. I laughed more than I had in ages and I felt like I've known him my entire life. Being with him was as natural as breathing. And here comes the cliche, when he dropped me off that night, I knew that one day, I was going to marry him. 

We stood outside his car in my parent's driveway until 2 am, talking about our plans for the future. He told me how much he loved traveling and how he would love for me to join him on these adventures. At the time, I thought he was feeding me some cheesey line, but it turned out, he fulfilled all his aspirations.

From that moment in my parent's driveway, our relationship progressed without a hiccup. We took every opportunity to spend time with each other and I sometimes even stayed awake until he ended work at 4 am. At the time, I was only senior in college and I still had a 5th year left for my Master degree and after the fall semester, I was done with field hockey. My time was finally freed up. I had summers off, fall breaks, end of semesters, and spring breaks to travel with him. And that was exactly what we did.

We aged, developed, and grew smoothly together over the years...  

It wasn't until our first child, our daughter, was born 7 years later that things got rocky. My pregnancy went smoothly and we were just like all the first time expectant parents. We talked nightly about how excited we were and fantasied about what life was going to be like. We were in sync with all our thoughts and views on parenting and couldn't wait to raise this perfect baby together as a family.

But when my daughter was born, she wasn't the average child. She was severely colic and cried nonstop -hours on end. And never slept. I spent my hours trying to be the best mom for her, that I had nothing left for he and I. I was stressed, he was stressed, and we pulled apart fast. 

Life changed. We didn't talk much anymore. I was a nervous first time parent that had a child who wasn't anything like the children in the What to Expect book. I felt like a failure and I was overwhelmed. He took all the overtime shifts he could and stayed hunkered down in his living room. We handled the situation completely different. It wasn't until after her first birthday that things leveled out, but by that time, I was a different person. I changed from being a "by the book" mom, to a full blown attachment parent. Whereas, my husband still parented without a connection. 

When my son was born, my husband and I were in a routine of life. We never fought, that wasn't us. We just kept our distance from each other. We talked as we passed each other in the hallway and at the dinner table, but we lost touch with our relationship. I would snip at the way he parented and his lack of interest with us and he would crawl further into his shell. 

Each year that passed, we had great days, weeks, and months, but with every step forward, we took 5 steps backwards. However, something changed this past year. I guess it was somewhere between reevaluating my life and my decisions, that I realized all the potential left for us. I realized I was selling my husband short on a lot of things. I never gave him a chance to build his confidence with parenting. And I still loved/love this man just like the first day I met him.

Previously, I was too bitter to think clearly because, I don't think either of us were prepared for how much our lives would change. But as my children age and grow, I find myself being more content. I find myself being more understanding with my husband. Motherhood came very easily to me, however, it was finding my way through my marriage that became harder. I would become upset because at the time, it felt like he wasn't as involved as me. And truth is, he may not be in the trenches like I am, but instead, his contributions are different. He goes out to work everyday and brings home a paycheck so I could be home with our children. He cuts the grass, takes out the garbage, and even cleans the kitchen after we eat. Somethings that I never gave him credit for.

Our parenting is just so different that I spent my time trying to make him parent just like me, instead of appreciating what he has to offer as an individual. Our children don't need two exact parents. They need diversity. And he might not be a hands on dad with the day to day tasks, but he has and always will be there for the children when they need him.  

When I learned to trust in him and let him be the "other parent," it broke down the wall that was put up between us. We laugh again, we talk again, and we want to spend time with each other again. And, I'd like to think that our disinterest in each other over the years was hidden among the children, because we always put on a smile and did things as a family anyways. But, I like that they get to see daddy hug mommy more, or see daddy make mommy smile spontaneously. Because, they will learn what a relationship looks like from watching us and I want them to know that mommy and daddy will always love each other no matter what.

Throughout these past 13 years, I discovered that you never stop growing and evolving. And you should never let your relationship take a backseat to life. There will always be good times and bad times, but it's how you prevail in the end that matters most. When my husband and I took our vows 7 years ago, we meant, "for better or for worse." We are both fighters and are up for any type of challenge. And I'm sure we'll never be completely out of the woods with challenges in our relationship because, no one ever is. But, as long as we take every situation as a lesson and learn to develop and grow from it, I'm sure we'll make every anniversary, "until death do us part..."

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Mid Week Humor: Naps

If fighting naps became an Olympic sport, children would bring home the gold every time.

www.jackyhappydays.blogspot.com

*You can participate in the mid week humor post by adding your comments below, of funny parenting moments, or comment on any of the social media sites I belong to, by using the hashtag thehappydayshumor.

A special Mother's Day

For the past 5 years, I haven't really celebrated Mother's Day. Not because I didn't want to, but because there was always something going on. Whether it was my husband and I going through one of our many "not talking" bits, or, the day just seemed like any other day to me. Mother's Day never felt like it was special or it was something to celebrate. Heck, every day in my home is "mother's day" -- "mom, can you get me more fruit?" "mom, can I have more juice?" "mom, where are my crayons?" 

I would try to build up the day in my head, only to be deflated by the reality. Though, I could always count on my daughter to hand me a card that she made all by herself, because she "loved me so much" and I was the "best momma ever." But my husband never took the time to plan something for us to do, or involve the children with the day.

But this year was different. 

This year, it seems like all the stars were aligned. It seems like I finally have life running in a groove where I don't become as easily frazzled or feel like I'm all alone in this parenting journey. Life feels picture perfect and precise in my soul. And for once, my husband is now a bigger part of our everyday, not just an extra body in the home for decoration.  

This year, my husband and I have finally choreographed our own dance in life. After an inconsistent 5 year stint, we effectively figured out how to be happy together in this role as parents. We both have always gotten along perfectly as husband and wife, but we couldn't seem to meet halfway with our parenting. Our parenting is just so different, which is weird, because we're not very different. As all you readers know, I'm more a hands on parent, with my helicoptering ways. Whereas, he is much more of a parent who conducts from the couch. His famous words were, "oh they're fine." And that always pierced through me like a sword. 

With that, this year on Mother's Day, my husband helped our children create beautiful cards... They were filled with stickers, glitter, and heartfelt words -and my daughter's own handwriting and my son's own scribbles. They were so eager to place them right beside me, as they woke me up in the morning. Their faces were plastered with ear to ear smiles and I couldn't wait to hug their little bodies and squeeze them tightly, while telling them how lucky I am to be their momma.

Those cards now have a permanent home hanging front and center on my fridge for the world to see...

Oh, and my children were also fed breakfast by their dad before I woke up... He also bought me birkenstock sandals that I pined after for years. Included with that, was a diffuser and an essential oil named, Happy Days. I know, it was pretty sweet and a neat play on words. 

That was only just the morning. In the afternoon, we were lucky enough to finally have a warm, clear blue day, where we spent it at a local park with my husband's family. Included was, my husband's dad, his wife, my husband's sister and her kids, and my husband's step sisters and one of the step sister's family. (All the grandkids are approximately in the same age group). At the pavilion area, we created an old fashion fun day. We played wiffle ball, kick ball, and volley ball. And we did three legged races, egg tosses, and egg on a spoon races. We even built sand castles and went on a scavenger hunt. 

The children had an incredible time just being one with the outdoors. And I loved watching them, while being surrounded by family.

We ate our food on a blanket in the grass and let the sun kiss our yearning bodies. The air around was peaceful and the wind whipped through the trees. But as life would have it, the title of Mother's Day didn't stop my son from being a 3 year old. And let's face it, sometimes, it's tough being a 3 year old. My daughter was off playing with her cousins, while my son tantrumed about wanting to go home. For no reason that a rational person could think of, but perfectly rational for him. He cried, I cuddled, he cried some more, and I loved him some more. After awhile, he settled down, just about the time frame when I wanted to drive away by myself and try my luck as gypsy, instead of this motherhood gig. 

But the day ended the way it was meant to, with everyone smiling and happy and enjoying the company of loving family members. My son eventually joined the crowd and played a round or two of wiffle ball -and even helped his sister tackle his older cousin for the ball and chased him around. Nevertheless, this day will go down in the books as one of the better family fun filled days we had in a long time. And not only was my Mother's Day incredibly special this year, but it felt completely natural, like the way every Mother's Day should be.

And it's not about the gifts I received, but more about the appreciation my husband showed for me on this day. His actions illustrated his respect for me as the mother of his children. Something, I think he took for granted the years prior. This year, he built up the day, talked about it, and by him taking charge and capturing the day, that allowed my children to celebrate with me. That is the memory I'm taking away from this Mother's Day.


I hope all you readers had a very special Mother's Day too! 


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American Ninja Warrior; the 5 year old...

Three years have passed since my daughter first laid her eyes on the television show, American Ninja Warrior (ANW). This was before Kacy became a viral sensation and every girl's inspiration, and before ANW was a household name. I actually believe that was the first season that didn't have a daytime running course in what looked like, a parking lot behind some grocery store. To her, watching this show is like watching any other sport on TV. She diligently watches each contender run the course and fantasizes about one day, running beside them. Ever since that first episode, she's been consistent with saying, she wants to be an American Ninja Warrior when she's older --and a school teacher, but that's another story. 

Since then, she creates obstacle courses at every playground she attends. She pretends she's herself, then uses an announcer's voice to state what she'll be doing and gives a play by play as she glides through her designed course. On any given day, she'll tackle anything and everything climbable in her path... That part makes me cringe more times than not. 

She watches the show on her kindle and on our saved DVR. I would venture to say, it's equivalent to a football player studying game films before walking out onto the field. 

I have to say, the American Ninja Warrior community is a very humble and kind community. I've reached out over social media a few times to some of the big "stars" and they all have been gracious with communicating back. Which to my daughter, makes her vision seem more like a reality and makes her feel incredibly special too.

When I listened to her end of the year kindergarten program speech, where she said she wanted to be a school teacher and an American Ninja Warrior when she's older, I believed her. I believe that my feisty 5 year old will accomplish anything she puts her mind to. Heck, I see evidence of that daily in our lives. However, based on what I see, I'm thinking a lawyer may be a better fit for her future, rather than a teacher. 

But, I'm sure her professional career idea may change several times over, but I don't think being an ANW will. Although, it may take a back seat to different love interests throughout her teen years and typical behaviors of that age group. But, I'm patiently waiting to see if that day actually does come and if her original interest that was sparked at just 2 years old becomes reality. 

Because... How neat will that be?

Mid Week Humor: Is it possible for toddlers to stay dressed?

I think it's nearly impossible to dress a toddler ahead of time and expect every article of clothing to still be on when it's time to walk out the door... Motherhood. 

www.jackyhappydays.blogspot.com

**Remember to join in on the conversation by commenting your parenting humor below or commenting on any of the social media site I belong to. Or you could use the hashtag thehappydayshumor **