Once upon a time, there was an outdoor BBQ...

Today was the first consistent day of sunshine. A day where the sky was blue and the gray, gloomy clouds were tucked away for another day. The temperatures grazed above 75 degrees and it was a Friday. Even though I'm a stay at home mom, Fridays are still a magical day of the week. It's the day where my husband comes home early and bedtime doesn't have to be rushed. There's room for those extra cuddles and one extra story, or five, if need be.

With the weather being gorgeous and displaying the first official sign of spring, we grabbed the opportunity and had an outdoor BBQ and fire. 

My husband cooked the steaks on the grill, while a pot of rice pilaf simmered on the side gas burner. Our children played in our woodsy backyard, beyond the grill. They climbed trees, played tag, and swung on their swing set. Then after dinner, while my husband and I sat on our weathered folding chairs around the fire, our children pretended they were on a busy town mystery with Huckle. They hiked around our shallow woods and followed clues to find different imaginative items. 

My husband and I sat and stared at the fire, listening to the magical adventures that were occurring right around us. We sat quietly for a few minutes, admiring the fun they were having. He and I talked about how lovely our view was and how lucky were are to have this life... And were quite astonished that they were playing something for a duration without one of them whining about the other. 

Moments later, our children joined us again, this time it was to make smores... Because, who doesn't love smores?

But let's face it, the magical moment that played out in my head, didn't matriculate in reality. Our relaxing fire, quickly turned into a stressful game of, making it through the evening without a child falling into the fire. After their consumption of smores and our "around the fire" stories became too boring, my son and daughter wanted to play in the smoke that permeated the patio area. Far enough from the fire, but for a helicopter mom like myself, 100 yards is too close to a burning fire. Just about the time that my blood pressure raised to scaring levels, both children wandered off to play house in their play area under the tree.  

Up until this point, I was actually starting to believe the hype that my children didn't argue. I was mislead to think that we have passed that stage. Well it turned out, mine were just late bloomers, or they had this whole thing all planned out. I'm not quite sure. But lately, something as simple as playing house can turn into a court room debate. Both sides arguing about something they had or they wanted more than the other, then coming to me to prove their side. So, after hearing my children fight over a climbing rope for about 15 minutes, I called it a night. I then carried two, overtired, slippery fish children, upstairs into their bedrooms. While they offered up every explanation on how they weren't tired.  

I laid them in their beds and cuddled them close, while I reassured them that I understood how tired they were. I told them I knew they didn't mean to argue or to carry on, but they are both still little and are trying real hard to keep it all together. So, I promised them another fire on a weekend, so we could do it at a much earlier time, instead of late after dinner. They both gladly accepted and we carried out our night of stories, cuddles, and me softly singing nursery rhyme songs as they fell asleep.

Motherhood has taught me a lot of things, but one in particular is that nothing is predictable. One evening that is planned out one way, will almost guaranteed, turn out a completely different way. Having a 3&5 year old also comes with its fair share of patience and understanding. They are both still learning to navigate through all the emotions and stress life serves up on a daily basis. They are still at the age where they'll cry at the drop of a dime, laugh like best friends, and fight over something that is completely irrational to an adult. 

But to them, it's important. 

And they're trying. 

They're trying to figure it all out. 

And when they do, it'll all make sense to them. 

But until then, they require all the understanding of a saint, even on the days when you think all the arguing, crying, and irrationality will drive you over the edge. 

It's at that moment, you realize just how much you're learning from your children, as they are from you. You realize that life is not meant to be picture perfect, but instead, reality is perfection. You realize they are teaching you to have more patience than you ever thought possible. Patience with allowing them to make mistakes, act out, argue with their sibling, and be irrational to learn how to develop. And, they teach you understanding because you realize, even as an adult, we all act unreasonable at times. And, life is all about learning and growing, even for adults.



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