Disclaimer: This article is about my experiences and they may be very different than yours... I live in a small town, in a rural area, so we never had the numbers that other areas had. I'm grateful for all the workers in the Health industry who fought tirelessly everyday, around the clock. I understand some of you had to sacrifice time with your own family, to keep them safe. And, I'm also grateful to all the essential workers who kept up our supplies and kept the world running... I'm thankful for all of you...
A year ago today, all of our lives were forever changed... The weeks leading up to this day, I sat glued in front of the television screen, as we all collectively watched COVID spread across the world and ultimately ending in our home towns.
A year ago today, I stood outside of my son's school, awaiting pick-up, as I received a robo call that still haunts me to this day... It read: School is closed until further notice...
It felt like an opening scene in an apocalyptic movie.
Last March, we cut ourselves off from the rest of the world, until almost June. I made a decision that I felt most comfortable with - And, I did what I felt was right, with the information I had.
It was scary... And no one really knew what was going on from one day to the next. Doctors, hospitals, administrators, CDC, the WHO, no one knew how to help all these sick people... So, mama bear kicked in and I took control of an uncontrollable situation and made the decision to keep us safe the only way I knew how -- keeping us together.
Our State of Emergency officially begun that Monday, March 16, 2020. That Monday, everything non-essential was shut down... Scene two, of an apocalyptic movie... With no where to go and not wanting to leave, I quickly fell into this trap of watching the News around the clock. Those first few days, I flinched every time a notification beeped through my phone. I begun to feel so much fear from the chaos - There was just so much death being shown... The uncertainty was excruciating... Our weather was still cold and the sun stayed hidden among the clouds... It was so easy to stay in that fear - to stay in that mindset... Because, the unknown is just so frightening...
But, like a switch, I suddenly decided to shut off the TV and disconnect my notifications on my phone. I decided, if we were going to stay in this bubble, it would be memorable... In that moment, I decided we were going to live, instead of falling into this seclusion and succumb to fear.
So, we lived... Every day...
The thought occurred to me that decades from now, this pandemic will always be spoken about. It will be taught in History classes, just like the Plague and Spanish Flu. This pandemic will live on for generations... So, I wanted my children to have a happy memory. I wanted to close them off from all the darkness that was happening around them, and leave them with memories of sunshine and happiness...
A year later, so many adults and children are suffering from depression and anxieties. Kids are under tremendous pressure from schools. And, parents are left feeling that their children are behind - And children are feeling like they're failing...
This was something I didn't want to manifest with my children... But, thankfully were already homeschooled. So, the transition was flawless and we even incorporated lessons into our outdoor days. However, school work wasn't the focus... I wanted to make sure their mental health was the priority.
As this anniversary approached, my daughter spoke so much of all the events leading up to this time. She had just landed a leading role in her community theatre, she was flourishing in homeschool, and she just entered this cool rhythm where she was attending her in-person specials at her old school with her friends...
When she speaks of the lockdown, she remembers it as such a joyous time. She talks about our long walks and our outdoor adventures. She reminisces of staying up late and video chatting with friends. She remembers only the good of that time...
And, the time flew!
My children remember walking through the woods in our PJs and having lunch on a log, while laughing because a piece of cheese fell onto the leaves below. They remember our patio fires at 2:00 pm on a Tuesday and eating dinner on a blanket. They remember our walks and hanging out for hours in a cemetery, just to make sure we steered clear of other people who were out and about.
I think they remember most of all, a time where anything was fair game and expectations were limited... We literally had no where to go and nothing to do.
But, what brings me joy is, my children never talk about the pandemic as being more than just an concept. They never had any fear or stress. I did, everyday. But, that wasn't their weight to carry... And, hearing them speak about how much they enjoyed that time being together was honestly one of my proudest parenting moments. Because, in the end, they only saw the good. They never felt what I was feeling on the inside.
We as parents, have this innate instinct to protect our children. I'm just so grateful I had the opportunity to do it.
Not one of us knew how to navigate parenting during a pandemic... How would we? It wasn't like there was a, "What To Expect, While There Is A Natural Disaster," book out there... We all did what we could, to keep our families safe. Some of us had an easier time in seclusion. While others did not. We were lucky to discover that we do wonderfully together... And, I'm grateful we had the means to do it.
A year later, I count my blessings that we are not only physically healthy, but mentally healthy as well. I'm grateful that I am a stay at home mom where my children are my only responsibility... And, my heart breaks for those who had to juggle it all, while still trying to stay safe.
Years from now, we all get to tell our story... Each one of us have an individual story that is tailored to our own personal experience during that time... And, when my children tell theirs, it won't be about a pandemic where hundreds of thousands of people lost their lives or their livelihoods. Instead, thankfully, they can tell a calming story about love and peace... A time when life slowed down and we literally stopped to smell the roses. How a normal chaotic life, led to a moment in time where you could sit in a field and feel the sun against your skin.
There is so much darkness and sadness in this world on any occasion. All I tried to do as a parent, was add some sunshine on an incredibly dark time... And, I thank my lucky stars I had the privilege to do so...
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