Mid Week Humor: Things kids do...

I believe there are criminals out there who don't have the same forwardness that a child has, after they just wasted their dinner, but then say, they're hungry 3 minutes after everything was cleaned up... Motherhood, where, apparently, the kitchen is always open and we have nothing better to do...

The Happy Days Blog

A new change...

For the past year or so, my daughter has asked to cut her Rapunzel-like long hair. It seems more children in her age group have shoulder length hair or above shoulder length styles. And like all children, she wants to emulate her peers.

Over the months, I've trimmed a few inches here an there. While trying to convince her that her long hair is beautiful and she should stand against the norm. But in reality, I wanted it long for me... 

It's like her hair represented her childhood to me. Those brittle ends are still the same strands that hung on, throughout all these years. And in my mind, I'm able to hold onto her baby years, just a little bit longer because, those pieces are still intact.

But after Thursday night and watching her so disheveled and not knowing what the outcome was going to be, I've learned that she's always going to be my little girl -No matter what style hair she has on her head. The same little girl who will always need her mama, no matter how old she gets. And as the years pass, her needs will change too, just like her. 

And that's ok too...
Because, change means you're moving forward... 
And everyone should be moving forward...

So after her bath last night, while I was combing through her tangled, knotted hair, she asked me once more about cutting her hair. But this time, instead of trying to convince her otherwise, I pulled out the scissors and stood behind her, as I chopped chunks off...

I felt my heart skip a few beats, as I watched the stands fall to the floor. But the more I cut, the happier she became. She was so excited, that she had trouble sitting still, which resulted in me cutting her hair multiple times, in order for it to look even... 

But nonetheless, it was chopped... 

About 10+ inches...

And afterwards, she twirled around for her brother and father, and was so proud of her new "do." 

And I finally realized, that it's only hair. And, hair always grows back. And, her hair is not the gateway to her past and will not keep her forever young. Growth is always happening and change will always occur. But this kind of happiness, shouldn't have been missed, because I was holding onto an imaginary piece of reality...

And as long as she is healthy and happy, short or long hair, she'll always be my most favorite girl in the whole world...

And I will keep her snuggled close to me, for as long as she'll allow... 

And after that, maybe I'll get a cat...

A scary experience...

Over here, we've been dealing with a house full of sicknesses. My son and I only have a runny nose and feel fatigued, and somehow, my husband has skated past all this... However, my daughter has caught the brunt of everything.

And considering this is only the second time in 6 years, that she has been sick enough to stop the world around us, I'd say, we're on a good streak.

Monday and Tuesday, she was off of school with a sore belly and just wasn't feeling well. But on Wednesday, when I picked her up from school, her eyes looked tired and she wasn't her typical bouncy self. Within an hour after being home, she was noticeably ill and fell asleep by 6:00 pm... And when she woke back up at 9:00 pm, she had a fever.

Over the past 2 days, her fever has been up and down. She's very responsible for her age and she understands, that she must stay hydrated and continue to eat lots of fruits and veggies.

Which she did, effortlessly.

However, Thursday, she easily fell asleep for the night around 8:00 pm and stayed next to me, while she snored peacefully away. When my children are sick, I always keep them next to me, both day and night, so I can make sure everything is going ok.

You really didn't expect much differently from me... Did you? (lol)

Then suddenly, in my 35 years of existence, I felt an immense fear that I have never even slightly experienced...

My daughter woke up around 9:30 pm, very incoherent, which didn't surprise me at first because, that sometimes happens with fevers. I spoke with her and asked her questions about the upcoming holidays and holidays that passed (things like that). She answered them correctly and started randomly talking about how she cannot wait for when she's a teenager... I took her temperature and it was only 100 degrees. And I kept my calm reassuring demeanor and hugged her while we spoke. One minute she would say something logical, then the next, something off the wall... But then, out of nowhere, she had a blank stare and asked where her daddy was. Who was sitting right next to her. Then she got nervous and asked where I went... I was right in front of her... Her daddy tried to hug her, but she didn't seem to recognize him... 

My heart literally fell out of my chest and I panicked, as I stood up and clicked on every single light in the room. She continued to look disheveled and said everything was blurry and she felt different and confused.

I contemplated calling 911, because I wasn't sure what was happening... But I also didn't want to be one of those over exaggerating mothers either. 

When about 5 minutes passed and her behavior wasn't changing, I decided to call my parent's to meet me at the hospital. While, my husband stayed home with our son. But instead, they met me at my house and drove my frantic self, up. Then, my husband's father came to our house to watch my son and my husband met us up there afterwards.

In the 3-4 minutes it took for my parents to arrive, I paced the floor of my back living room with my little girl dangling in my arms. She leaned her head tightly against my neck and periodically, talked coherently. I told her how proud I was of her and how brave she was being. And, she cried into my shoulder saying, how scared she was to go to the emergency room.

In those minutes, I questioned if I would ever see my little girl again. If she would be the same girl I've known all this time, or if she would come home, a different child...

At triage, my daughter was still having difficulty seeing, but was able to see more shapes and figures around her. She stayed clung to me in my arms, confused and scared. Basically, the same emotions I felt on the inside, as I screamed and cried soundlessly.

Her doctor was wonderful, cracking jokes and making her laugh. By this time, she was back to herself, except for this odd blank, glassy, look in her eyes.

We sat on the bed in the hallway of an over packed ER. She rested her body on the side of the rolly bed and I sat on the floor in front of her. I stared forever into her eyes, grateful for her... Loving her...

The tests all came back normal. She just has a viral infection with a high fever. And the odd experience was probably caused by a weird glitch in her body. The doctor said, it wasn't the weirdest thing he's ever heard and our doctor also confirmed too.

But for me, I was just overwhelmed with gratitude that everything turned out fine. That I was lucky enough to only experience a reversible situation for a short amount of time. And, how many other parents aren't lucky enough. How, one moment can change someones entire life, so quickly.

So, when we arrived back home, I carried my sleeping girl through our doors. I sat on the couch for what felt like hours, as I cradled her in my arms, just like I once did when she was a baby. I rocked her back and forth and sung the same nursery rhyme melody, that I used to sing during her colicky hours.

Then, I laid her in my bed, close to me and snuggled next to her for the rest of the night... During the sleepless night, she would occasionally reach for me and our hands would clasp and I stroked her head... 

Loving and appreciating every moment of cosleeping, that I once was so eager to change.

You truly don't realize how much time has passed and how much you miss the little things, until they are no longer there. And it's times like these, I'm incredibly grateful for the life I lead... How I'm able to solely focus all my attention on my children and never miss a moment of their lives...

Because each moment of my life, is so incredibly full...

And I'm grateful that my little girl is back to herself and doesn't remember much about last night... She is still sick with a fever, but is functioning perfectly...

And, is cuddled tightly in my arms, until she is fully better... 

And of course, forever after that...

Mid Week Humor: Eating your vegetables...

I guess I was naive to think peer pressure was limited to the obvious situations. Turns out, it also applies to not eating junk food for snack as well... Motherhood, where apparently, it's not cool to bring vegetables to school.

The Happy Days Blog

American Ninja Warrior dreams...

Back in 2013, my daughter and I were nestled snugly on our couch, flipping through the cartoon stations, during the later hours of the evening. Me being the clumsy person that I am, I accidentally dropped the remote, well, because, my fingers got in the way... And upon wrestling the remote to prevent it from dropping to the ground, I changed the channel. Within seconds, my daughter was mesmerized with what she was viewing. I tried to change it back to Dora or Little Einsteins, but I was met with a stern, "leave it on and let's see what it is..."

Well, it was American Ninja Warrior...

The early years...
Back when it looked like they ran courses in some grocery store parking lot at 1:00 pm in the afternoon.

The show didn't have all the bells and whistles that it has today. No lights, fire, or crowds of people pushing their way to the front of the bleachers. It didn't have Kacy completing all the obstacles in regionals, or Jessie Graff making it to the first round of the final's course, or even have a finisher on American soil.

It was just a bunch of people running through obstacles, just trying to finish first and have the best time in order to make it on the American team and eventually, compete in the finals over in Japan.

But either way, my daughter was hooked...

At only 2.5 years old.

We dvr'd all the episodes and she would sit and watch them the same way other children watch those toy review vlogs on YouTube.

She watched all the regulars become household names... She watched Brent Steffensen make it the furtherst on stage 2, Megan Martin be the first girl up the wall, Kacy be the first girl to finish all the courses, Joe Moravsky become an instant favorite, and Jessie Graff make it to finals.

Daily, she created anything and everything into obstacles and worked very hard for months, to be able to complete all 22 monkey bars at the local playground - at only 3.5 years old.

Over the years, I've added bits and pieces around the house to fuel her dedication. We even added a rope climb, rope latter, cargo net, and monkey bars to our basement...

But, we live in a small town that takes years for outside trends to catch on. So, after hearing about a local gymnastics gym offering an 8 week Ninja course, I knew, we had to sign her up.

And at the first class, among 8 other children, boys and girls split, she finished first place out of all the other children, in all timed obstacles...

At 6 years old...

And, she made it look so easy...

And hopefully, she'll stick this out and one day, we'll all be able to watch her on TV, knocking down all the restrictive barriers, and climbing to the top of Mt. Midoriyama to be an official, American Ninja Warrior.

Birthday growth...

On the baseboard wall of my dining room, sat a tear away countdown of numbers. It was snuggled next to our elf door, but below the decorated wall of art work that hung high above. This tear away countdown was created for my son in anticipation of his upcoming birthday and party...

This was the first year that he was crazy excited for his big day... 4 years old, holy moly! It's a bazaar concept to comprehend, that your baby, is turning 4...

...So each morning, he would run down stairs, pull off the top number and say the remaining days left -while running around my dining room table...

It's hard to process the amount of time that has passed. How, when I first walked through our doors with my infant son, I didn't feel the same terrifying emotion that I once had with his sister. Instead, I felt at ease, confident, and prepared.

I was ready to tackle the bumpy infant years that we experienced with his sister. I had my sanity prepped and my emotions in check. However, he was nothing like her. At all... He fed well, slept through the night by 4 weeks old, and cried very little. He was happy to just lay around on the floor of his sister's bedroom, while my daughter and I played on either side of him. Most of all, he was content to follow his big sisters every move and emulate her love of certain things.

And to this day, he's still the same laid back child that he was as an infant...

It went from being only my daughter and I everyday, to being scared that my son wouldn't easily fit into our lives. I remember feeling claustrophobic with my thoughts of how everything would suddenly change. To him, fitting perfectly. But not only perfect, he was actually a piece of us that was missing. Only, we didn't know about it, until we met him.

And now, we can't imagine how we made it those 2 years without him...

The years have flown by and his personality blossomed. Originally, he was so enamored by his sister, that he was like her little clone. He wasn't his own person, at all, and it wasn't until this past year that he became, him...

A boy who loves Batman and Star Wars and DC Superhero Girls. He loves the corresponding books and could hear them a thousand times a day. He dislikes structured learning and sitting at a desk. However, he can count to 20 and recognize all the numbers and the ABCs. He can almost write his name and some of the numbers and letters... Most of all, he loves with all his heart and is so incredibly caring and sweet. He's thoughtful and polite, and never misses an opportunity to say, "I love you mama," Or, "you look pretty mama."

As his numbers tick higher up each year, I'm sadden by how quickly this whole motherhood gig is passing. I went from my two children being cradled in my arms and needing me to function. To, one in school full time and the other telling me how he cannot wait for preschool. And how, he won't cry when he leaves me.

See, no one tells us moms that we have to experience all these emotions too. How, just like our children are trying to figure out the world around them, so are we. We are all in this game of change and growth together, because, there isn't a manual out there that will tell you how you feel at this very second and then, how to fix it. But, I'm learning to grow with them and follow their cues, so my smothering will be out of love, instead of pulling them backwards. 

And I now save the reminiscing until after my children go to sleep...

So this year, we celebrated his birthday with a dining room fully decorated with Batman prints and balloons, and a party at a bounce house place with friends and family. Complete with a Wonder Woman cake...

At this very moment in time, this little boy is a marvelous creature, who I hope continues his same path of having a loving and nurturing soul. So when he's older and has children of his own, he won't watch them grow from the background. Instead, he'll be hands on and doting and have just as an important role as the mom.

Because, when I'm raising him to be loving and not "all boy," I'm not raising him to be a weird child. No. Not one bit. Instead, I'm raising him to be a loving husband and father, who will have a sensitive soul to care for others.

Whereas, that's what happens when you love and cuddle your baby boy too much. He'll grow up with enough security to pass it onto others...

Mid Week Humor: Tough defeat from a six year old...

That awkward moment when you think you easily beat your six year old in a game of Uno, only to be fooled by her poker face and watch her drop the +4 card last minute like a boss. Then, she does a mock mic drop and goes out on her next turn and says, "that's how it's done mama!"... Motherhood, where your child apparently inherited her daddy's ability to strategize like a professional.

The Happy Days Blog

A perspective of daddy and marriage...

From my kitchen, I watched both my children sitting nestled on either side of my husband. They rested in that space that lies under his arms, right against his burly body. Their bodies were tucked under our colorful afghan, with a few toes dangling out the bottom. I would peak over the sink occasionally, to see the smiles on their faces, as they discussed the details of my son's upcoming birthday party. He listened intently, while lowering the football game that was playing on his TV. Periodically, my son would jump out from under the covers and demonstrate how he will jump at his bounce house party. My husband caught the brunt of a wild arm or leg during the process. Then, my daughter would jump on the opposite end, to show off her acrobatic ninja skills.

Eventually, our couch turned into a gymnastics center and my husband was forced to a small section, which he voluntarily scooted himself to the edge, without complaint.

After almost 15 years with this man, I still smile to myself with how lucky I am for his loyalty to us and passive nature. How, he can sit on the smallest part of the couch and listen to nothing but chaos around him, without losing his patience once. How, he is ever so present in our lives, the best he can, with how much he works. How patient he is with the kids, when the days get to be too much for me. How, he'll sit in our daughter's room a half hour longer than I'm sometimes willing to. Or, that he'll walk both children back to their beds at any time of the night, repeatedly, if need be.

That's the thing about my husband. He's incredibly easy going and I sometimes wish I was THAT easy going.

Over the decade and half with my husband, there has been so many changes. From being selfish in our endeavors and traveling at the drop of a dime. To buying a dog, getting married, and buying a home. To surviving our first months as new parents. To figuring out how to co-parent, when I've completely changed so much as a person.

See, that's the thing about marriage, especially when you're together for a long time, you have to learn to move forward with all the changes that occur. And even when the times are tough and you don't think you'll ever make it out alive, somehow, you do. And in the process, you realize you now love each other for completely different reasons, than you did when you first fell in love.

Your love is a deeper connection. Not superficial. It's simple and easy. Not complex, fueled by emotions. And it's mainly about understanding...

He has loved me when we were the exact same person who loved the same things. He loved me when I became a new parent and couldn't figure out who I was anymore. And he loves me now, when I am no where near the same person that I was 15 years ago.

However, he may not have been my #1 cheerleader through those years, but, he never doubted us and our strength.

So now, as our children spend the highest percentage of their days with each other, it's now just my husband and I, on the couch, catching up on silly TV shows. It's us again, laughing about something stupid, or me being weird, or he and I doing our telekinetic language that we have always had -the ability to know what the other will say or do, or know what the other is looking at or sees in our surrounds... All without a single word ever being spoken.

Because this life isn't only about my motherhood journey. It's also about my role as his wife and the balance between them both. It's about knowing each other, and finishing where the other person left off, and together, being one awesome parent. 

It's about my children seeing a functional, cohesive dynamic system. 

And to see my husband, finally saunter so effortlessly into his role as daddy.

And, I'm glad that I'm traveling through this chapter of our lives, with the same man who I've experienced all the previous chapters with.

And continuously moving forward to many more new beginnings with our family of four...

Reconnecting with the past...

Our holiday season also had a lot to celebrate outside of our little family unit... Over the past few years, there has been some extended family situations that arose, causing a split among cousins/aunts/etc. But outside of my parents, I've been mending fences, trying to re-establish an extended family unit.

Currently, we only have a solid relationship with my husband's side of the family and my parents. Both his mom and dad and their spouses are a huge part of our lives and we're grateful for them in so many ways. But, I want more for my children. I want them also around the individuals who had influence on my life when I was growing up and were always a constant. 

I want them to be around the ones who celebrated my graduations, birthdays, wedding, and baby shower.

Also, the women in my family all have a consistent personality and myself and my second cousin are so much alike, it's scary. We're all loud, talkative, and hyper. However, my husband's family is not like this, at all. They are more reserved and expect quiet at the table and children are to be seen, but not heard. Sadly, my daughter is a mini me and fits the stereotypical mold of the females on my side. Whereas, my son is more of a quiet natured boy. 

This factor was a leading role on why I wanted to create a stronger, extended family. Mainly because, I don't won't my daughter growing up and only seeing people who are very different than her and make her doubt herself. Because, if I didn't have my family as a child, I would have definitely missed out with learning a lot about myself as an individual. 

And plus, it's always great to know where you came from...

So this New Years Day, we were around my dining room table with my side of the family, who hold so many of my past memories.

And, it's was just how I remembered it...

We talked of old stories, about past family members, and future endeavors. My daughter stayed at the table and no amount of questions or conversation was too much for them. And she loved every minute of sitting there, chatting with the adults, just like I did at her very age.

And when she grew stagnant, she donned her infamous roller skates and circled the table a few dozen times...

She was loud... But not once did they ask her to stop or huff at her actions. They laughed and commented on how well she skated and how much she reminded them of myself at her age, and we just continued along with our conversations.

With reconnecting to my side, she's learning to appreciate her talkative nature, instead of always hearing that she "talks too much." With my family, you have to talk quick and loud and sometimes interrupt, in order to get a word in... And my daughter quickly fit in. Also, she's learning that what she says is important too and that other adults, outside of mama and daddy, are interested in what she has to say, instead of being talked around like she's invisible.

In my almost 35 years on this planet, I've learned that you can never have too many family members. And the older generations are such a blessing, because, they are the ones who still hold onto past traditions and have the best stories to share. And finally, a holiday dinner (or any day) should be full of people, noises, loud conversations from all ages, and love... Always, lots of love.

And we're incredibly lucky to have that much love, back in our lives... And we're excited for what the future holds...

Mid Week Humor: Being cool isn't my thing...

I was never cool. Not for a single moment in time... I feel sorry for my children in their later years, because, I also cannot pull off the "cool mom" thing either. I will totally be awkwardly trying to kiss and hug them when they're 16 years old, wipe their faces clean in front of friends, and attempt to chaperone prom... I won't be the mom who the kids say, "let's go to your house to hang out and chat with your mom." It'll be more like, "let's go to your house to get some baked cookies or homemade food." I kind of already feel bad for them... Motherhood.

The Happy Days Blog

Our New Years... The simple life...

When my husband and I celebrated New Years Eve before children, we were usually somewhere warm and partying like rock stars. We dabbled in areas like, Key West, Vegas, Orlando, South Beach, and Fort Lauderdale. We were dressed to the nines and enveloped in crowds, club lights, and dancing. Then, taxi cabbed it back to the hotel after 2:00 am.

There's was always something magical and high society about New Years Eve. It's the time when you get a do over and, everyone gets a second chance. 

And at midnight, you prepare your resolutions for the new year.

But since having children, all that seems so long ago. I am at a point in my life where I feel so content where everything is. And, I don't make resolutions because, I don't want anything to change... Well, maybe lose a few pounds, but for god sakes, I don't need a resolution for that, I just need to put down the baked goods...

I look back over my recent New Years Eves. Most were spent putting children to sleep early, doing feedings, and rocking a colicky baby around my house while I desperately tried to stay awake until midnight. I sometimes sat on the rocking chair in the nursery feeding my baby, listening to the countdown from the living room TV, while my then sleep hating toddler ran outside the door.

But each year, became a little more exciting than the last...

And this year, was the most different yet. My children are now older, aware, and little people. They were so eager to start the countdown and be part of this exciting holiday. After dinner, we played board games, hide and go seek, they ran through the house banging pots and pans like a parade, and they practiced their countdown -on the highest volume.

They were ready...

Except around 11:15 p.m, after they ate donuts to help give them a sugar rush, but their eyes still were heavy. My husband pulled out the video camera to do a mock countdown, they did, but immediately retreated back under the covers, where I sat with both children under my arms.

Within minutes, my son said, "mama, I can't do this New Years Eve thing anymore." Which I then told him the countdown wasn't all that it's cracked up to be and it was ok to go to sleep. But when I looked to my left, my daughter was already snoring. And his eyes fell closed a second later.

My husband and I smirked at each other, relishing in the cuteness that surrounded my still body. We watched a little bit more of Rockin Eve, under the glow of the side table lamp, before carrying the children upstairs to their beds. 

However, my daughter woke back up during the transfer and quickly begged to come back downstairs, which of course we obliged. Although, my son didn't even stir and was out sleeping like a log, with a do not disturb sign shadowed over his body.

And at midnight, my daughter banged those pots and pans under the star lit night...

I've never seen her happier, standing there, jammy clad, with her long light brown hair disheveled on top of her head, looking more mature by the minute.

After both children were sleeping, about 3 minutes after midnight, it was down to just my husband and I... Like old times. But instead of fancy clothes and disco lights, we were in our jammies and on our fluffy oversized couch. And I'll tell you, I'm having more fun in this life, than I ever had in my past life...

And when the night was at its close, I felt immensely grateful for my life. I felt such satisfaction of where it is, this very moment. 

See, over the years, I've learned that there is so much more to life than what society deems successful. I personally view success from how happy you are as a person, versus how well you are financially. My husband and I went from a life of money and "things," to a life of one income and simplicity. And once we stopped trying to keep up with the Jones', I have never been more at peace. 

You realize happiness is being home with your children, cooking fresh meals, being available to your family when they need you, and spending the summer's outdoors and making memories. Not being at a 9-5 job so you can have the biggest house, the newest cars, the fanciest clothes, and the latest technology. 

I feel just as important in my role, as I would as a working mom. To me, there isn't a difference. Both are contributing the same, just in different ways. And I never feel less superior to my husband because I don't have an income. If anything, I feel stronger, because I'm the one who holds this whole life together...

Sometimes, all you need to do is, be present. 

And stop worrying about so much stuff...

Because, as long as your bills are paid and you have a roof over your head, then you are by far, richer than you think...