This was the first year that he was crazy excited for his big day... 4 years old, holy moly! It's a bazaar concept to comprehend, that your baby, is turning 4...
...So each morning, he would run down stairs, pull off the top number and say the remaining days left -while running around my dining room table...
It's hard to process the amount of time that has passed. How, when I first walked through our doors with my infant son, I didn't feel the same terrifying emotion that I once had with his sister. Instead, I felt at ease, confident, and prepared.
I was ready to tackle the bumpy infant years that we experienced with his sister. I had my sanity prepped and my emotions in check. However, he was nothing like her. At all... He fed well, slept through the night by 4 weeks old, and cried very little. He was happy to just lay around on the floor of his sister's bedroom, while my daughter and I played on either side of him. Most of all, he was content to follow his big sisters every move and emulate her love of certain things.
And to this day, he's still the same laid back child that he was as an infant...
It went from being only my daughter and I everyday, to being scared that my son wouldn't easily fit into our lives. I remember feeling claustrophobic with my thoughts of how everything would suddenly change. To him, fitting perfectly. But not only perfect, he was actually a piece of us that was missing. Only, we didn't know about it, until we met him.
And now, we can't imagine how we made it those 2 years without him...
The years have flown by and his personality blossomed. Originally, he was so enamored by his sister, that he was like her little clone. He wasn't his own person, at all, and it wasn't until this past year that he became, him...
A boy who loves Batman and Star Wars and DC Superhero Girls. He loves the corresponding books and could hear them a thousand times a day. He dislikes structured learning and sitting at a desk. However, he can count to 20 and recognize all the numbers and the ABCs. He can almost write his name and some of the numbers and letters... Most of all, he loves with all his heart and is so incredibly caring and sweet. He's thoughtful and polite, and never misses an opportunity to say, "I love you mama," Or, "you look pretty mama."
As his numbers tick higher up each year, I'm sadden by how quickly this whole motherhood gig is passing. I went from my two children being cradled in my arms and needing me to function. To, one in school full time and the other telling me how he cannot wait for preschool. And how, he won't cry when he leaves me.
See, no one tells us moms that we have to experience all these emotions too. How, just like our children are trying to figure out the world around them, so are we. We are all in this game of change and growth together, because, there isn't a manual out there that will tell you how you feel at this very second and then, how to fix it. But, I'm learning to grow with them and follow their cues, so my smothering will be out of love, instead of pulling them backwards.
And I now save the reminiscing until after my children go to sleep...
So this year, we celebrated his birthday with a dining room fully decorated with Batman prints and balloons, and a party at a bounce house place with friends and family. Complete with a Wonder Woman cake...
At this very moment in time, this little boy is a marvelous creature, who I hope continues his same path of having a loving and nurturing soul. So when he's older and has children of his own, he won't watch them grow from the background. Instead, he'll be hands on and doting and have just as an important role as the mom.
Because, when I'm raising him to be loving and not "all boy," I'm not raising him to be a weird child. No. Not one bit. Instead, I'm raising him to be a loving husband and father, who will have a sensitive soul to care for others.
Whereas, that's what happens when you love and cuddle your baby boy too much. He'll grow up with enough security to pass it onto others...
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