My internal turmoil, with going back to school...

I've fought with this internal turmoil that boiled up inside me.... I struggled with what would be the best decision for us... And, in the process, I've lost a lot of sleepless nights...

Because, the truth is, what is the correct thing to do when you're in the middle of a pandemic and your state is reopening in-person schools, in only just a few short weeks?

My daughter is already homeschooled, so that was easy. However, my son was in traditional school (by his choice) and wanted to continue... But, after reading countless news articles, opinion pieces, and watching the numbers continue to rise, I decided that for my own sanity, both of my children would be home with me this school year...

Because, in reality, what will the idea of school even look like now, anyways?

Will there even be a glimpse of years past?

Even with the best of situations, it'll still be unrecognizable - elementary kids will not be allowed to eat in a group lunch room, no recess, no games, no assemblys, 6ft apart from your best friend, one way hallways with children slowly walking through with donned masks... And, the obvious, hundreds of kids and adults in one building, all interacting with each other...

Teachers are going to be frazzled because of fear.. Fear of trying to keep themselves safe and their students safe...

And, like I've said in previous post, not all children are resilient and this new layout could be very traumatizing to them...

So, if I really sat down to think about it, I feel like I was holding onto a concept, that no longer exists.

Probably like others, I also felt like keeping him home (when he wasn't ready) was doing him an injustice - because, he flourished in the traditional school environment. But, one thing I know from my daughter is, being taught at home is never the short end of the straw - in fact, it's pretty vibrant. And, with schools throwing curriculums together and fumbling with Google classroom, at least I know there will be a solid curriculum in place...

And besides, there really isn't a baseline for education this year. And, EVERYONE is in the same boat.

So, I've settled in with my decision and now I'm really excited to begin 2020/2021 school year - on our terms. 

...Hopefully, sleeping will resume..

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Attachment parenting through the tween years...

So many times you hear about this crazy relationship that unfolds between a tween/teen daughter and her mother. You hear about the squabbles, sassiness, and banters. You hear about the door slams and the I hate yous...

Society mentally prepared you for this...

But, society doesn't prepare you for the parents who didn't raise their children in fear. Who didn't punish their children for every little wrongdoings. The parents who sat down with their children and guided them through tough situations with love and connection...

If they did prepare you for the latter, you wouldn't be shocked when your tween still snuggles with you and tells you how much they love you. Or, when your daughter runs out of her room to you because, she cannot wait to tell you all about her favorite YouTuber -Or, what her and her friends spent the last 2 hours talking about...

She wouldn't hesitate to come to you, to discuss difficult/new things.

It's strange because, society almost makes it normal to have these tussles and tifs - so many bloggers make quips and jokes about that daily - It's somehow normalized for daughter's and mother's to dislike each other for a chunk of their years. But abnormal, when children have a healthy relationship with their parents, instead.

I have to say, I was prepared for the norm, but thankfully, what I have is so much different. What I have, goes against anything I was ever taught.

And, I've never been so glad to be wrong.

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