Relentless bedtime fuss

After time, she finally falls asleep… After bribery, rocking, singing, reading, and a partridge and a pear tree.

I’m content and feel like I have achieved something. I feel like I could conquer the world. It's now my moment to finally take a breath and have “me” time -To quietly sit down and watch my guilty pleasure of reality shows, while having some tea and cookies. 

But that moment usually falls short after about an hour later, when my daughter wakes back up and is ready to take on the world.

Now, after being with my 3 year old for almost 14 hours straight, without a break, sometimes mommy feels like she’s ready to fly off the handle. I could hear yelling fits going on in my head, but I ignore them to sound as calm, and stable, as possible.

My son loves sleep. He goes to bed without a fuss and sleeps 12 hours, give or take, and naps about 2 hours during the day. He’s a happy little boy –when he’s not teething like a beaver. My daughter hates sleep –always has. She fights it like she’s boxing for the heavy weight championship. She sleeps under pure exhaustion. Then takes that little bit of sleep, wakes back up, and tries to run a marathon.

It’s frustrating.

A couple hours later, she finally falls back to sleep –usually holding tightly onto my hand and smiling. Of course after she has eaten again, played, and helped me “clean” the day away.

In that moment, when the house is quiet and she’s peacefully sleeping, I sit and stare at her. Feeling defeated that I was discontented in the first place. She’s such a sweet, good girl, and sometimes I become frustrated that I don’t get a lot of alone time -“me” time.

But then I think, what happens in another couple years, when her bed is no longer parallel to mine. When she’s in her own room, all night. When she no longer needs me to stay with her until she falls asleep. When countless bedtime stories do not have to be read. When she doesn’t wake back up, because she misses me.

I’ll have all that spare time to myself. But yet, I will be begging to relieve these so called “stressful inconveniences.”

I’ll be grasping for those moments where she wants to cuddle. 

Sleep and “me time” won’t seem so important anymore.

I’ll be longing for yesterday because, she’s already growing so fast -too fast.

So right now, I must take these interruptions with stride. Cuddle my little girl as tightly as I want because she’ll love that even more.

Cherish the relentless bedtime fuss and embrace the lack of sleep on my end.

Realizing that everyone becomes frustrated a time or two while parenting. It’s part of life.

While knowing, this demanding dependent stage is only temporary and one day, I’ll have all the time I want for myself. But my little girl won’t be so little anymore.