Lately, with preschool as an addition to our lives, my daughter has become overly attached. So attached, that I could actually step on her foot when I turn in one direction.
I'm thinking it's the separation that still has her emotional lability disrupted. This causes her to want to be next to me all day long, talk to me nonstop, and always wanting to keep me in view. However, I can't blame the poor kid, she's 4 years old and within those 4 years, she's only been left with my parents (outside of myself) -dropping her off at preschool must make her uneasy (even though she isn't crying anymore and is happily going).
So... Quiet time hasn't happened in quite some time.
Adding to that, my son has some sort of internal competition going on. It appears that he is trying to obtain the title of "textbook terrible two" toddler of the year... Is that a thing? If it is, I'd bet he'd win.
In fact, I'd bet he would be the poster child for it.
All you need to say is "no" to him and satin comes out. Seriously, my son morphs into this beast who I am completely unaware of. He throws himself on the floor, cries, kicks and spins -I think his head spun around 360 degrees when told he was leaving ToysRus, although, it happened too quick to be sure.
So... Quiet time hasn't happened in quite some time.
This is completely uncharted waters for me. In 4 years, my daughter NEVER threw a tantrum. She whined, a lot, and argues like a teenager, but never tantrumed. She uses logic and reasoning as her defense, whereas, my son just flails -obviously, he's not too creative yet. Although, I have a feeling with his sister as his guide, he'll be just as vocal soon enough -stating his case like I'm being cross examined by a defense attorney.
With all that, my days have been chaos. Lately, I have one child glued to me and the other crying over his sock hanging off his foot too far. At this point, neither child is able to be reasoned with. Both are having a hard time within their own internal selves. While, these problems may seem trivial and very frustrating to me, these are authentic problems that are causing extensive disruptions within their inner selves right now.
As a parent, I am utilizing my attachment parenting strategies and conforming to help put her at ease. I am working with her in every attempt to guide her emotions and increase her feeling of security within our family...
I hug her -often.
I snuggle with her -often.
I talk to her -often.
I tell her I love her -often.
I praise her -often.
I tell her how proud I am of her -often.
Right now, she only needs reassurance, not conflict.
My son also needs guidance, not punishment. He doesn't need to be put in "time out" when he screams. He needs to be allotted his emotion and talked through them, calmly. He needs to know that it is ok to be frustrated and mommy is here to help him. Not yelled at, shamed, or punished because of his feelings. Specifically, because he still isn't able to effectively vocalize all his thoughts and expressions.
So... Quiet time hasn't happened in quite some time.
As a parent, these are the strategies that need to be utilized (for us), but as a person, I sometimes struggle with the constant tending. Especially when my son freaks out because I wouldn't allow him to eat his sister's crayon. The person part of me, wants to yell and cry with him, but the parent part (thankfully, the rationale part) is the patient and understanding one.
Who needs quiet time anyways?
That's the person who pulls them in closer, while telling them everything is and always will be fine.
So, consistent quiet time isn't here right now and it might not be here for another year or so. But that's ok, because my little ones need me more than I need quiet time. TV shows and social media will always be there, but my children's internal disputes are only a brief limitation. As I always state and restate, these young, demanding years, are only temporary and are the quickest stage to stumble upon. Adulthood and independence are the longest.
These babies, won't be babies much longer.
So, when I'm frustrated and needing some time to decompress, I quickly flip through old photos of my children and relish the amazement of how much changed in such a short amount of time. Knowing, that with love and patience, this too, will quickly balance itself... That is, until another complicated problem arises...
Thus the never ending cycle of parenting.
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