I have never worn make up, not even on my wedding day. It just never fit into my "tomboy" persona. I have always been like the son my dad never had. I was taught how to change a tire, how to change the oil in an old car, and I know what ever tool is used for. I was taught how to hit a ball with the back end of a broom handle and I grew up playing backyard football and baseball with all the neighborhood boys. I was usually picked in the top among the boys at gym class to play flag football and kickball. And, I was a varsity athlete and a division III college field hockey record setter. Being a woman the way society pushed, just wasn't me.
I didn't have that girly edge. I usually felt out of place, but I always felt comfortable as being one of the guys. It seemed like there were two categories in life, one, you loved shopping and two, you loved make-up. And neither phased me. I didn't relate to girls. What would we even talk about? I also wasn't into the drama that accompanied being around them. I disliked heels and frilly dresses and getting "dolled up" and my clothes were usually two sizes too big. I'm a simple girl who is low maintenance. And in my 34 years around the sun, I've never tried to be something I'm not.
Motherhood was the only moment in my life that connected me to a woman's life. But it didn't happen overnight. I went from being a pregnant first time mom who knew it all, to a woman living a life that was perfect for her. I swore it wouldn't change me and I wasn't going to let it soften me. I used to think I would parent like Robert De Niro's character in Meet the Fockers (never holding my child out of comfort, only for need). Basically, I thought I would parent like a typical guy. But once my daughter graced my life, all squishy and small, something changed. The change happened so naturally that I didn't even notice, until I reflected back. The first week or so, I was robotic through all the motions and only focused on her needs. Then, all of the sudden, I found myself staying up all hours rocking and singing to my baby, never letting her cry unnecessarily. I effortlessly accommodated all her wants, instead of only her needs. I was so willing to hold her for pure comfort. And just like that, this motherhood experience went from being foreign to something as natural as breathing... Before I knew it, I was babywearing and practicing attachment parenting and gentle parenting... And turned into a total peace loving hippie.
Motherhood not only softened me... It completely changed me.
From that moment, I felt like I finally fit into a category. Each year I age as a mother, I become more and more comfortable in my own skin. Here I am, now 34 years old, and about 35 lbs of extra weight pulls on my body, dark circles lay under my tired eyes, my hair is speckled and streaked with gray, and my favorite attire is sweats. However, I have never felt more myself. Because, it's no longer about appearance, but more about my role as a mother and my empowerment as a woman.
The empowerment sprouted from the ability to grow a baby, birth a baby, and feed a baby without any assistance from the outside world. Being a woman is a remarkable experience.
After motherhood, I fit in with more women and have much more to talk about. Since blogging, I have met many other cyber mommies who have similar lifestyles and beliefs, and even though I have never met most of these women in real life, I feel as if I have befriended them. And I no longer feel so out of place in this woman world anymore.
With motherhood, there isn't a one size fits all. There isn't a perfect picture of what motherhood is, and everyone does it differently and from all walks of life. You could be anyone and raise your child however you deem fit. No rules (other than basic human rules), no attire, no category, nothing... Just mothering.
Prior to motherhood, I felt as if I would never fit in anywhere. I was is limbo between worlds, not knowing the place for me. Until, something so natural occurred which changed my life forever and united me among the elite group of motherhood. A place that I not only belong in, but fit perfectly in. Turns out, I wasn't out of place all this time, I was just waiting to be a mother.
***Remember, if you enjoy reading my stories, please vote for my blog by going to my main page at www.jackyhappydays.blogspot.com and clicking the Top Mommy Blog icon in the right side column. You can vote daily and the more votes the blog receives, equals more traffic for The Happy Days! As always, thank you all for your continued support and such kind words.***
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