Because in reality, the consequence and action are not cohesive. Meaning, one has nothing to do with the other -example, spanking a child for breaking a window doesn't fit. It isn't a teaching method because a child can't make the connection between the two. It just demonstrates frustration on the parent's part and teaches a child, that when you're mad, you hit someone...
I'm not sure if that's the message you really want to send...
And if the thought is to offer a means of generalization for a correct response the next time, it can't happen -because again, they don't correlate and a child can't learn from it. Sure they'll be fearful and probably will be too scared to do anything incorrect. And probably too scared to tell you the truth, if they did something incorrect (so they'll begin to lie). But, is that really the message you want? To have your child so fearful of a incorrect action? Or instead, do you want them to not make incorrect actions because, they're wrong in the first place?
Those are two completely different points...
Severe punishment like that, isn't a real life consequence. It can never be followed over to any other situation. If your husband accidentally, or on purpose, broke the car window, you wouldn't spank him or shame him or verbally berate him. If your wife purposely did something wrong, you wouldn't spank her or ridicule her in front of a bunch of strangers. Or, if a friend went against your wishes and did something you asked them not to do, you wouldn't punish them...
You wouldn't do any of these things...
Why? Because it's abuse.
This belief that children require 100% control ALL THE TIME is disheartening. This belief that children have to be perfect every minute of everyday is completely unacceptable... Especially since all of us adults get angry when we're tired or hungry or stressed. We joke about it all the time on social media and with friends --There's memes dedicated to this topic and even T-shirts that say the words, hangry. So why is all of that acceptable, but a child can't have a bad day without being reprimanded?
You know, it is completely real to raise children without punishment and harsh words and threats being spoken AND, still have them turn out to be incredibly respectful humans with manners. It's pretty simple. Just treat them like they're people with rights and respect who they are as individuals. Give them the freedom to make a mistake in a secure, non-fearful, environment. It's amazing what you'll see when you take the time to hear "their side" and don't assume that a mishap was on purpose, or it was a devious behavior, purely to make the parent's life miserable.
Children are the only group of individuals where it's socially acceptable to strike. You can't hit another adult without proving it was self defense, you can't strike an animal without it being abuse, and you certainly cannot strike your wife just because she disagreed with you or mouthed-off to you...
And sadly, children are the most affected by this action because, they trust their parents immensely. They have unconditional love and ingrained trust in them. Children put their whole souls into this life...
...And with just a quick swat on the butt, or telling them how horrible they are, or how they are "bad kids," slowly tears them down...
It tears them down, like a wild horse that is being broken.
And the big question is, why do you want to break your kids?
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