And sadly, there wasn't as many as I'd hoped.
For those of you who haven't seen it, This was about the Virginia boy who was kicked off the bus for bullying another child, then the father made him jog to school in the rain as punishment -oh, and videotaped it, to be shared all over social media.
This thread was filled with, "great job, dad!" "Father of the year." "Best dad ever!" comments...
...And. I. Can't. Even...
My issue with this, isn't just the way society reacted to this video (although, that is a big factor), but the way the dad decided to deal with the incident. Instead of talking with his child and trying to have an open dialogue about what has been going on, he immediately went to a harsh punishment. That shows how he parents -He's tough. And tough parents cause children to go to school and be tough on other children. It's the 'food chain' logic. When one person is the weaker link in one situation, they find another situation in which they aren't the weak link. In other words, his dad is displaying power over him, so his son went to school and displayed power over someone else.
That is what this father has been teaching his son.
To me, this punishment is the epitome of bullying. I don't like the idea of punishment anyways, but when you record it and share it all over the world, that's drops this to a whole different level... And a quick Google search of the word bully will present you with this definition: "...to force him or her to do what one wants." It's about one person demonstrating power or control over another person.
Hence, why this child bullies other children in the first place -from the role model.
And, for the love of all things holy, please stop publicly shaming your children.
But after reading all the comments, and watching all the social media circus, what really broke my heart was hearing the child say, he won't bully again because, he doesn't ever want to suffer that kind of punishment.
But, don't we as parents, want to teach our children not to bully because it's harmful to other children? Don't we want to teach them empathy onto others?
Those lessons weren't taught here. The only lesson this child learned was, not to get into trouble again because he had to run to school. Ok, that works on face value, but doesn't get to the root of the problem. This child didn't learn not to bully because it's wrong and can have a devastating effect on others, plain and simple.
Fear doesn't educate.
Sadly, this was a perfect opportunity for this dad to sit down and educate his son on the downside of bullying. Materials like, how children take their own lives, how they injury themselves just to stop the pain, how they become introverts, and also, some suffer a lifetime of depression and other mental health factors because of it.
All that was lost here.
And society praised him for his actions. They praised him for instilling fear onto his child, instead of teaching him. But no one is asking how or why did this start? That's the problem in this country, everyone wants to solve the symptoms, but not the cause of things. They just want to keep putting bandaids on all the issues.
And this punishment may stop him from bullying on the bus, but what happens when he bullies in school? Because, fear doesn't always transfer over to every situation. Not like education will.
See, I'm part of the movement where I am creating a connection with my children. I want them to learn about humanity, compassion, respect, and kindness. And they are learning those concepts, by me modeling those actions towards them. They aren't punished or disciplined for mistakes. From day one, they have had a safe environment in which they are allowed to make errors and not be harshly judged. So that by the time they reach school age, they are aware of emotions from others. And aware that people are different. They are taught that no one is beneath them and they are not superior to anything -not even animals, insects, or plants.
Kindness starts at home and if your child is secure enough with themselves, they won't succumb to peer pressure and automatically turn to the dark-side when they venture out among school-aged children. However, if you're a parent who steps onto social media and berates other people from behind the computer screen and talks negatively about other people around the house, then your children will pick up on these things and mimic these behaviors.
99% of children just don't wake up one day and become mean. They have learned it from somewhere. And if it's not from the parent, then as a parent, one needs to reevaluate the process.
Because harsh punishments and public shaming shouldn't exist in a world where we are more educated now, than we once were.
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