In those quiet daytime moments...

Each day when my home is a little extra quiet, I find myself walking the same path through our Christmas filled hallways. I stop for a few seconds when my Christmas music is drowned out, in order to hear the location of where they're stationed. 

I find my son sitting on the playroom floor with a pile of Batman guys surrounding his little body. He doesn't see me in the doorway. He usually doesn't. His little mind is off somewhere in Gotham City, protecting it from evil villians. I linger in the doorway a little longer than usual, as I notice how much bigger my baby boy is getting. His words are clearer and his mannerisms make me feel as if he's his sister's age. I cannot believe he'll be 4 years old in just a few short weeks... When I close my eyes, the image of his sister at his age is becoming blurry with time.

My daughter is somewhere in our home, each spot varies, but the idea is always the same. I find her with notebook paper sprawled out in front of her and a freshly sharpened pencil in her hand. Scrape pieces of paper line the floor beneath her feet. And she's deep in thought, writing one of her many stories that she'll be beyond eager to show me when it's finished. 

And I'll drop whatever I'm doing in excitement to hear it... 

These days are so much different than my days just a few short months ago. They're growing quicker than my mind can comprehend. Instead of being consumed with the words "mommy I need" all day long. I find the air is quieter and vacant. I find myself seeking them out more than they find me. And even when they're being loud, it's not directed towards me. I just happen to be the moving structure that goes about, as they roller skate, play big wheel tag, or play hide and go seek.

How quickly we fall into our routines. I've grown so accustom to this life with them. Their familiar everyday noises and sounds. Even the loudness has a comforting tone to it. And when they go about their day, I still see traces of my babies in them. Like when they're tired and want all the cuddles life has to offer. Or when my so is half asleep and holds tightly onto my hands and says, "never leave me mama." And when my daughter wants to hear the same nursery rhyme melody that I used to sing to her as I rocked her to sleep when she was younger. Those are the moments that keep me sane when I feel like they're slipping away towards adulthood.

This is the part of life where I want to forever grab them and pull them backwards to me. To keep them in my wrap, so they're carried close to my heart and protected. But instead, I drop my hands firmly at my side and watch their freedom unfold. And being grateful for the opportunity to see their ability to grow and navigate life outside of mama. 

But, in these little quiet moments throughout my day, I'll still stand in their doorways, motionless, as I watch them look so peaceful and young. And linger longer and longer until I eventually get caught and told I'm weird (probably by my daughter).

And, accept that life is always changing and moving forward. And allowing them the room to continue in biology's path, is the best mothering gift I can give them. And use those quiet moments to feed my yearning for them to be my babies forever...

Tragedy diverted...

In between the rain drops and the soppy grounds, the sun came out just long enough to warm the air and harden the ground. So much in fact, that our indoor stricken bodies craved the outdoor freedom.

With ourselves packed in the car and no where particular we had to be, since our district continues to strike, we found our way to the local farm to wander.

We walked the grounds and followed our usual path. This time, my daughter had her favorite doll, Curly Shirley, along for the adventure. My children fed the ducks, sheep, Alpacas, and goats while making sure each of the animals all had the same amount of food. They sat on the ground and talked to a duck who was very vocal and followed right beside them, hoping to snag another piece of food. But, the duck didn't look too amused by the conversation that unfolded, he was by far, more interested in the food. My daughter did her usual reading to the baby cows. And, over in the horse barn, they played Santa delivering presents in a vintage horse drawn sleigh to all the animals on the farm. Each of them took turns "pulling the sleigh" and the other, being Santa.

But throughout our walk, my daughter must have dropped her beloved doll without realizing, and we walked away. She has had that doll since she first came home from the hospital and it goes everywhere with her -usually, she carries her in the back carrier, but this time, she decided to hold her. After being at the farm for about 2 hours or so, we buckled ourselves into the car to drive home. It was then my daughter freaked out and realized curly Shirley wasn't with us. So we unbuckled ourselves and ran top speed while retracing our steps. As I silently wished some other child didn't walk off with the doll and take her home. 

We checked every inch of the grounds, my son and daughter running besides me, and my daughter had tears streaming down her face. We stopped in all the outpost buildings and asked the workers if they have seen the doll on the floor or left on one of the counters, but no one saw her. Even other people at the farm were on the look out for Curly Shirley. 

But, as we rounded the last corner by the pig's pen, we saw her sitting high up on the fence. My daughter took off running and pulled Curly Shirley into her arms and repeatedly said, "thank you, thank you!" She must have dropped her while we were talking to the pig and because she's not used to carrying her, we didn't realize she wasn't with us.

And, some lovely human must have placed her high up so she could be found. What an incredible person to take the time to do that. Thank you to whom ever that was. May your day be awesome!

(Her beloved doll with a lipstick stain forever etched onto her lips, that apparently, no amount of washing will ever remove).

Also, because of that person's kind act, it helped as a visual for my daughter. Each time we're out and she stumbles upon a toy or something laying on the ground, I always tell her to leave it where it is, so the person who is missing it, can find it. Either, we'll put it high up (just like that person did with Curly Shirley) or leave it as it was. I always say, it's easier to do that because people tend to retrace their steps when searching (again, just like we did). So, she was utterly happy with the end result and a hands on learning experience took place as well...

So, as we walked back to our car, this time, with tears of joy on her face, she vowed to never take Curly Shirley to a place without her carrier. Not only to keep her safe, but to keep her close to her heart as well...

Mid Week Humor: Noise reduction?

Fact: Riding a scooter across hardwood floors isn't any less quiet than riding a big wheel, while mama is on the phone trying to pay bills. But thanks for the effort kids... Motherhood.

The Happy Days Blog

Our holiday weekend...

As all the other children's holiday vacation is coming to an end, ours is still very vibrant and full, since our district still continues to strike. Time seems endless and moments are fruitful. I feel like everyday will be like the last and returning to school was just a horrid reoccurring nightmare. 

We packed away the final pumpkin things and encapsulated our doorways with garland strung lights. We put the final touches on the outdoor lights and decorations and finished our home in multicolored loveliness. Thanksgiving came and went in a blur. My daughter helped me set the table. I remember the way her little hands tightly grasped the cups as they teetered from the kitchen to our dining room. She talked all the while, starting one story where the previous one ended. She pulled the ceramic turkeys from my corner cabinet to place at each setting. She said she remembered the stories I once told about my grandmother always having them on our Thanksgiving table when I was little.

This year was my first Thanksgiving cooking the entire dinner myself and it didn't go as smoothly as I had hoped. Our turkey tasted wonderful, but somehow fully cooked 2.5 hours earlier than expected, about 5 lbs of boiled potatoes strained down our drain, and my bundt cake fried in the convection oven because I forgot to change the temperature from 450 to 325. But somehow, it was all made right when family gathered around our table.

The next day, when Black Friday is filled with packed stores, tired people, and grumpy sale associates, we stay cozied up at my in-laws for our annual Thanksgiving #2. This is the scene where cousins of all ages run rampant, play with toys, play hide and go seek, and whatever else their little minds can muster up. Each room of the home is louder than the next and people are scattered, talking up their days and plans for the holiday season. The boys are in front of the television, talking football and sometimes cheering louder than the children are laughing. It's a scene that reminds me of my holiday dinners as a child. One that I hold close to my heart and I'm happy that my children are able to share.

After Thanksgiving was put to rest and our hearts were full of gratitude, we drove to our local tree farm to pick out our favorite tree. My daughter immediately loved the first tree she saw and begged for it. But my son, walked away in his oversized rain boots, dragging his outstretched arms across the silky branches. We watched him slow down at some and silently inspect the trees, then carry on until he stopped at just one. One, he said, was the "prettiest tree" he had ever seen. My daughter followed his voice to the tree where she absolutely agreed that it was our tree to come home with us...

I felt like Christmas was just a few days ago. But nonetheless, our tree is finally decorated and the village glows under the colorful Christmas lights. This was the first year where I sat back and allowed them the freedom to do the entire tree and village by themselves. I, of course, strung the lights and arranged the houses so they were accessible to electrical outlets. But, they worked together and in between the laughing and talking, they finished... 

And it was beautiful, so beautiful, that I didn't have to go back and rearrange anything.

And when our home was dark and quiet, I sat beside that tree with only it's glow emanating the room. I replayed the day, the week, and even the month over in my head. I thought about family and our days spent laughing. I thought about bedtime and the way both my children persuade me to stay in their rooms, just a little bit longer. The stories they tell. I'm not sure what I did before these little conversations took place. Or the complete randomness and things out of the ordinary. But, what will always remain are the memories of holidays, their love for each other, and these little conversations that seem to linger in the air long after my children have left the room. And if the room is quiet enough, I could hear their laughter and the questions only my daughter would ask. I can hear their smaller voice in between the beats of my heart. And that's where they'll remain, until the quietest hour, so I can replay them again and again...

Mid Week Humor: Things kids say...

I was in the kitchen tidying up, when my daughter comes in with a handful of paper materials and asks for help with the tape. I curiously asked what she was doing, as I manipulated the tape in my hand. She replied, "I'm making angel wings for my brother." But before I could respond, I hear her brother yell from the playroom, "I do not want angel wings!" She replies, "don't mind him. He'll love it." "I will not!" comes from the playroom. She shrugs her shoulders and says, "little brothers, am I right?" as she takes the loose tape from my hand and walks away... Motherhood.

The Happy Days Blog

A little winter wonderland...

Our Saturday was a typical weird weather scenario for our area, during this time of the year. It started in the 70s and ended with snow and 29 degrees... You know, like dropping 40 degrees in 6 hours is completely normal. Because apparently, birkenstock sandals and snowboots are supposed to be worn in the same day.

The day time hours were a wonderful 70 degrees with full sunshine. We basked in the outdoors with short sleeve shirts and used the open space as our blank canvas.

The day ended when the sun was just about to set. That's when the dark clouds rolled in and the winds began to swirl. The cold wind kissed off our faces, as if icicles were being thrown at us. We retreated inside to eat dinner, before my husband and I got ourselves ready for our second date night of this year (my in-laws were watching our babies). But, by the time we arrived at my husband's friend's surprise 40th party, it was sleeting and the temperatures already dropped to 33 degrees.

Our drive home was a vision from the movie, Spaceballs; The part where they were driving ludicrous speed. The snow was so thick that we couldn't even see past our headlights, but the angle made it look like we were traveling at lightening speed. And at this time, my phone outdoor temperature read, 29 degrees. 

In the morning, I was awoken by my children shrieking once their little eyes saw the outdoor scene. Snow enveloped the grass and trees. About 4 inches of snow had fallen overnight. 

So we rushed breakfast and raced for the outdoors to play.

After snuggling them up with their snowsuit attire, they immediately dove into the snow. After not seeing snow since early this year. Luckily for me, this was the first year my tired body was able to only stand at the bottom of our backyard hill to play catcher. Versus, walking the sleds repeatedly up to the top, then running back down before they gave themselves the biggest push.

(I realize the snow doesn't look that deep here. That's because my husband hasn't cut our grass since the end of August and all the fallen leaves coated the high grass.)

My children's little legs trekked through the snow, as they climbed the hill for what seemed like the hundredth time. Snow dangled off the tips of their gloves, snow speckled my daughters long ponytail, and my son's cheeks were apple red.

Two and half hours had passed and the snow finally stopped falling on our heads. A snowman was made, hills were sledded, and we even pretended we were The Thundermans throwing snowballs at the evil dark mayhem.

We ended our fun by snuggling around our portable space heater, while watching the new Thundermans and drinking hot chocolate; Giving us time to defrost before lunch.

If Saturday was a glimpse of the joy snow will have on my children, then I say, bring it on winter! We cannot wait to see you.

Homeschooling, our way...

In continuation to Monday's post, we concluded our first week of homeschool.

Our district continues to strike and an end doesn't seem to be in sight. But by law, the students have to be back in their classrooms after 30 days. Then, if they choose, the staff can strike again after the New Year. 

My brain hurts just thinking about all that...

With that, our Christmas vacation and Easter break will be terminated and students will be in school until the end of June. Not to mention, it'll leave the children scrambling around trying to end the year on a positive passing note. After being away from academics for such a long duration. And, I'm sure the remaining months will be a game of "catch up." As the teachers will have to review everything they already taught to the younger students.

So, as much as I have enjoyed the short structured homeschooling experience and my daughter's receptive ability, I did loosen up by mid week. Not because of problems, but because technically, this is all our holiday breaks and some of summer break wrapped into one. So I want her to be free of school work and have fun during her supposed time off. 

Also, we read daily anyways, it's her favorite thing to do. So it's not like we have to sit in a classroom atmosphere for that to happen. But, I now throw in some math as we saunter throughout our days.

But for now, we have been to the park, bike riding, library, bookstore, the farm, went outdoor exploring, walking, and played indoor hide and go seek all during those short winter day light hours...

We are taking advantage of this rare experience of enjoying each others company during the time when the sun is at it's highest point, without being pressed for time. 

To breakdown our week...
She was eager and excited to work and really respected me in my educator role. We completed a days worth of work in four hours, included recess and lunch. We did activities from worksheets and played a few games, I thought we were having fun. But, she said I wasn't a fun teacher and the class was boring. I guess that's what you get when your daughter is lucky enough to have such a wonderful, real, teacher. So, I thanked her for her critique, adding, I'm not a teacher and I do have a lot of room to grow.

As much as I love having both of my children with me all day, I still feel a sense of frustration that my daughter won't be allowed to share our holidays at home with her family. The day after Christmas, she is expected to be back at school, with not even a day in between to be allowed the chance to play with new toys, go visiting family, or watch some holiday movies while eating Christmas cookies. But, it's the realization that the state feels they have more rights to your child than you, as the parent, have, that really irks me. That, they think they know what is in their best interest. Then at the same time, they're the ones trying to encourage families to be together more.

It sounds a little oxymoronish to me...

So for now, we'll hunker down and enjoy our time at home with some homeschool thrown in. And we'll patiently wait out the strike, while crossing our fingers it will get resolved in enough time that our holiday breaks won't be conceded. 

But until that happens, we'll catch up on The Thundermans and decorate our home for Christmas during the commercial breaks. We'll throw some math problems in between while she skates around my dining room table. We'll read some of her new books we loaned out from the library and we'll even do some science experiments.

So homeschool will still continue, just our own version of it. Equipped with lots of fun and learning, from the new and improved, non boring teacher.