How did this become mom shaming?

Since when did voicing a different parental opinion become mom shaming?

How did this begin?

And, the crazy part is, it's only mom shaming when you disagree with the norm...

In a mom group, a mom asked about letting her baby cry it out - she wanted advice... Of course, she was met with a lot of people giving her options and pointers... Because, let's face it, crying it out is the standard norm for parenting... So, at no point would anyone think that by saying you agree with crying it out, that would be mom shaming towards someone who didn't agree with it...

But alas, there were moms who wrote their distaste for crying it out... They wrote why they felt it was harmful and why they were against it...

Well, would you guess the moderators turned off the comments for that post. And, a separate post was written about how disappointed they were in the group because of the judgemental mom shaming... Like we were being scolded at - like children.

But, why were only the ones who didn't agree with crying it out get called the mom shamers? Why were they the only ones listed as being judgemental? Why not the ones who voiced their strong opinions on why they liked it? Why weren't they considered judgemental towards the ones who disagreed?

I'll tell you why...

Because, any type of peaceful/respectful parenting is too progressive and makes people uncomfortable. Then, mob mentality takes over and people join in with the norm... And, if more percentage of people believe one thing, then that's the gold standard and anything else is wrong.

How about this... I always get mom shamed for my parenting, but I'm not allowed to say it... Before I weeded out my personal page, I used to get shamed for posting our adventures and simple fun we would have... I was told that I spend too much time with my kids. Or, I should figure out a better balance between my life and my kids. That I was weird. I needed to find a hobby... etc... I was even told that my posts and blog writings made a mom feel like she was a bad parent and I should stop posting so much.

If I ever mentioned that was considered shaming, I'd be told to get over myself - It's not the same thing.

How is that ok?

Well, society deemed it ok because as parents, we're all supposed to be a hot mess and drink our wine and pray for bedtime and then go on social media and talk negatively about our children... And, if you don't fit into that box, then you're shaming the ones who do.

But, if you have your life together and enjoy your children, you're shaming the ones who don't have their life together.

And, posting all these positive things, are making other people feel bad, so you should stop.

However, at no point, are we allowed to say that we're being shamed by them...

Do you understand any of this?
No, you don't?🤔

It's because there is no logic and it's annoying and ignorant and should be stopped...

Parent however you want. But understand that there are right and wrong things. Understand that there are things better for children, than not. Understand that science actually supports that crying it out is harmful - however, society does it because, life is so demanding that parents feel they have to do it.

Do whatever you want... But don't call it shaming because, you didn't hear what you wanted hear.

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