It was the night of her Winter Concert Program...
...And all her family was there to see her!
When the doors opened, we filed into a skinny hallway like cattle. It was complete chaos and clutter. Every parent was dropping their designated child off into their classroom upon the start of the program.
I said my goodbyes, did our secret handshake, and said, "break a leg," which she found very humorous. She was bubbly, excited even, to partake in such an event. I was extremely proud to see this reaction and realized how far we have come since her days in early September.
We again sat, shoulder to shoulder, in the pews waiting. My son was chattering away to all the passing people and yelled his sister's name, as he was getting bored. I was too anxious to be still, as I wasn't sure how my daughter would handle standing up in front of a crowded room full of people.
My son was hanging over my shoulder, facing behind me, and I heard him yell her name again, but this time, with much passion. I looked in his direction to see all the children simultaneously proceeding down the isle.
My daughter's arm looked as if it would fall off for how much she waved it towards us.
She was like a beauty queen, waving to all the spectators in the crowd.
We watched the earlier classes perform, we all clapped and cheered as they were wonderful. My son clapped on que and said, "more" when they finished and my daughter gave them a standing ovation.
It was now her turn...
She cheerfully skipped up to the alter with her class and was placed front and center. She smiled ear to ear as she waved and yelled, "hi!" to all of us. My husband pressed play on the video camera, as I snapped about 50 shots in twenty seconds from our still camera.
These are the many moments that parenting is made for.
The music started, she sang loudly and appropriately followed along with the hand gestures. She was all smiles, bubbly and dancing in place. Then suddenly, out of nowhere, she began to cry. This poor girl turned beet red and stood there, fighting her tears, as she continued to sing. As a parent, I wanted to run up, grab her, and wisk her away. I even stood up, attempting to get her attention. Yes, I was totally that parent. I felt the blood rush through my body, as I stood there helplessly. Then, in the matter of seconds, the nursery school teacher, who my daughter adores, knelt down off to the side, but in front of the kids, to attempt to calm her. My daughter ran off stage, hugged the teacher, regrouped, then ran back front and center, where she proceeded to finish all five songs without a hiccup -she did give the teacher a thumbs up in between each song.
Once done, she ran off stage and into my arms, where I proceeded to tell her how proud I was of her. She said, "I did it mommy!" which such enjoyment.
She accomplished something great.
This experience was a completely new one for me. I have finally reached that age where other people now have the opportunity to comfort my child when I am not around. As a stay at home mom and an attachment parenting style, I have never been in this position to not be the one who comforted my child on all occasions. I am always there to be that person, it just never dawned on me that during school age, she would need to do things on her own -or, that it would approach so quickly.
Reality hit hard that night...
However, that statement is really the key thing. She calmed herself down on her own. The teacher was only there to reset her, but my daughter was the one who was able to maintain her composure and finish the concert. She is the one who matured enough over these past couple months to handle her emotions without mommy cuddling her and telling her everything will be ok.
She already knows everything will be ok.
I was incredibly proud and sad at the same moment...
...Proud that she accomplished something that a few months ago, she wouldn't have been able to do, but sad, that she is growing up and maturing into a more independent individual.
Those 20 seconds of fear, was all that she needed to revert back and finish what she was so eager to do... Something that she has talked about all week.
That night, bedtime was forced, as she was too animated to sleep. She said she was so happy that she sung in the concert and I told her how happy I was to have watched her. I then picked up her long, gangly body, as I rocked her to sleep, singing some of her favorite songs...
...Because on that day, she might have hit a major milestone, but she'll always be my little girl who needs mommy at certain times in her life. And I will cuddle her to sleep, as long as she'll let me.
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