Growth happens when you least expect it...

Our Saturday was another rainy, gloomy day. Our home had that fall chill where you're in between using your heating system and having the windows slightly opened. We all stayed in our warm jammies and oversized socks a lot longer than socially appropriate. 

Who am I kidding? 

I was the only one who changed into outdoor clothing when I was forced to leave the house to go grocery shopping for milk and bread because we were near end. And in our home, milk and bread is like oxygen. 

...But, I totally changed back into my jammies when I arrived back home...

I watched some Roseanne reruns and my husband was in our other living room watching a football game.

Our children ran throughout our home playing freeze tag on and off by themselves. And there was also some pretend school, wind chime creating, and terrarium building in between with mommy. But mostly, my two children played together, nicely, for the better part of the day.

I am adoring this stage in their lives where they treat each other as peers, not as inconveniences. These two have climbed mountains, crossed dry deserts, and swam deep seas to get to this place of acceptance. A stage I would have bet my left foot that would never arrive.

But, here we finally are. And this mama gets to watch this blossoming relationship flourish in front of my very eyes. A place where the tips of their little fingers end and the other one begins.

I'll hear them have full blown conversations about Halloween and Christmas, or how my son will love preschool. I hear them help each other beat a level on the Bugs Bunny Dash game on their kindles. Or, my daughter help him with his ABCs. And I'll get the opportunity to see both of them snuggled next to each other on the couch, sharing a pillow, watching the new Henry Danger. (But come on, Henry Danger is a pretty awesome show). 

Occasionally, I'll hear someone argue with the other, but that's usually corrected by the other one saying, "we don't argue in this family, we hug." Which, a hug does simultaneously follow.

In case you didn't know, I say that a lot...

Weirdly, I sometimes miss the need for me. Don't get me wrong, my children and I spend the majority of the day doing things together, but I'm not used to these seldom breaks. I've spent the last 6 years with a child so close to me, that I would sometimes step on their feet. But now, I almost feel a little incomplete, like I should be doing something with them.

Those are the moments, I enter into their playroom and butt into their play. But, I'm usually dismissed with, "we're ok mommy." 

I must admit, my heart breaks a little. 

But instead, I smile and say, "that's ok guys... You enjoy your time together and come out and get me when you're done and want to do something else." Which they always do, but each time, the duration stretches longer and longer.

And my duration of mindless TV watching also stretches... You'd think I'd find something more productive to do during that time. But instead, I find myself shocked by the lack of non needing that is going on, that I'm still trying to process how to function.

But that's life, right? You go through these short years where your children eat, sleep, and breathe mommy every minute of every day, Only for them to mature and grow into independent beings who release the umbilical cord, one inch at a time. 

Even when mommy isn't ready for it...

And especially, when mommy least expects it.