This is how I do Motherhood...

We experienced our first official school age birthday party this weekend. Weeks ago, my daughter energetically bounced home with the crisp white envelope, which was already torn opened.

She said, "mama, I HAVE to go!"

I quickly read over the invite, but was very hesitant when I reached the words, "drop off party." Then waaaaayyy at the bottom, in smaller print, were the words, "but you can stay if you'd like." I tapped the invite against my palm, as I mulled over the idea in my head before speaking. 

I wasn't ready to drop off my newly 6 year old daughter at someone's home whom I've never met. Although, I'm not even sure I could drop my child off at someone's home who I do know. 

So before bedtime, I sat on the edge of her bed and decided to include her in the decision making. We began to discuss my concerns with a drop off party and before I could continue my statement she cut me off by saying, "I don't want you to leave me there by myself." 

Well. That was easy.

So easy in fact, that I had to save my Ward Cleaver speech for another occasion.

I told her that if she really wanted to go, I'd cart myself to the party and be the only adult staying if I had to. And considering most of her school friends were attending, she really wanted to go.

I made the call and responded yes to the invite...

She asked several questions about why parents wanted to drop their children off without staying and enjoying the adult side. And, I really didn't have an answer. I honestly don't know the reason. I know whenever I have parties for my two children, I want the parents to stay so we could all hang out and get to know each other, especially, if our children are friends.

But... I know I'm different.

I should totally have a trending hashtag coptermommyinthehouse.

The weeks passed quickly and the party day arrived...

We pulled up to a gorgeous home, parked the car, and walked towards the double doors. My daughter started getting nervous and kept asking for reassurance, if I was definitely staying the whole time. 

I answered, yes.

Repeatedly...

We were greeted by the mom, who kind of stopped me in the doorway. I felt like she was waiting for me to turn around and leave. I know that I already told her I was staying when I responded to the invite, but maybe, she was hoping I'd change my mind.

Turned out, none of the other parents stayed. 

My daughter removed her shoes and ran to her friends, who were standing in the living room off the foyer. I kindly said hi and introduced myself, then walked passed her to an empty chair in the room. 

My daughter glanced over at me and I gave her a wink. She quickly wandered off with the rest of the girls and left my side. I was remaining, awkwardly sitting alone in their living room. Except for the occasional conversation from the lovely grandmother who came in to break the silence.

The day dragged on, the two hours felt like eternity. I didn't want to follow her around from room to room. I wanted her to feel like she was "dropped off" without actually being dropped off. And it worked, because I didn't see much of her for the duration.

I leaned back, scrolled through Facebook and Instagram and returned some emails. I also received a Facebook messenger comment from a mom of one of the daughter's at the party, who was supposed to stay with me, but chickened out when she came in and felt very uncomfortable about the whole idea. She apologized.  

See, that's where I'm different, I'm 100% ok with putting myself in an uncomfortable situation in order to make my children comfortable. It seems that I have been in more awkward situations for the benefit of my children, than I personally went through my entire preteen youth. 

But that's ok. Because, I'm the one with the mature psyche and I'm the one who is capable of not caring what others think of me. Whereas, my daughter is no where near that point in her life and won't be for quite some time.

So, in gist, the party went great. My daughter had an incredible time and she felt like a big deal going to her first "big kid" party. All the kids were very sweet and everyone was included with all the activities. There were many crafts to partake in and a major dance party unfolded. I heard, but I didn't witness that.

I was happy with my decision and I don't regret being there one bit. I did what I would think all parents would do in my situation; They would do what made their child the most comfortable. I'm still one of those rare believers that first grade children are still babies. In the grand scheme of life, they're infants. Infants who still sometimes need the security of their home life carried over to their out of home life.

And contrary to the majority's belief, my daughter will develop just like all the rest of the children. She'll be the girl who quickly gives me a peck on the cheek, as she is begging for me to stay in the car, when she runs to door into the birthday party by herself.

That day will happen.

That day will happen far too soon.

So right now, on this day, I'm going to awkwardly sit alone in the living room of any drop off birthday party that my daughter attends, while sporadically making helicopter mom jokes. And, watching my little girl enjoy herself and sprouting her wings, on her own terms.

Because, that's how I do Motherhood...