Spring changes on the horizon

The days are growing longer and the cool crisp air is being succeeded by a more tepid breeze. Winter boots are being replaced with rain boots and winter coats are switched out for lighter coats...

Spring is officially in the air.

Confined indoor creative play has now transformed into outdoor wild adventures.

Paint brushes and puzzles are packed away for rainy days, no longer the sole provider of entertainment.

The sunnier days are left for outdoor exploration...

Trips to the farm...

And seeing beautiful, new life blooming...

You can't help but be incredibly grateful for these days -The long days... The warmer days... The sunny days... The happy days...

Especially, after the grueling, frigid winter we just emerged from.

The warm air forces every part of your soul to embrace the beauty. To stretch your arms out wide and soak in the vitamin D that is dripping from the sun, leaving you with a smile frozen on your face.

You can't help but search for beauty.

We will continue to eagerly await, as this warmer weather creeps through; knowing that brighter, merrier days are in our future. Days where my children and I can play barefoot outside in the soft grass, enjoying limitless childhood at it's finest.



Happy Easter everyone!

Magical moments

Lying in bed, just as the bright morning sun begun to peer through my white lace curtains, something magical always happens...

Not magical in the sense that fairies are dancing around, but magical as in a beautiful moment.

I usually stay in bed, watching my video monitor, as I hear (and see) my two lovely children giggling and playing. They don't always stay in camera view, but when they do, it's an adorable image. I squinted at my colored 2.5 inch screen and see my son snuggled closely next to my daughter in her bed. Her wild, messy morning hair was blocking her beautiful smiling face, while my son's messy bed head, Beatle's mop top, was also in total disarray. Both were talking about the day ahead of them, in total bliss and anticipation of what awaits them. So eager to embark on whatever incredible journey they can muster up. 

I love listening to my daughter read her brother multiple books or hearing them play dress up, and acting out various scenes.

Then, he'll easily get bored, and I hear my daughter strike up another conversation to coax him back in her direction. 

He happily obliges... 

I sometimes think he leave for the attention.

I hear him get excited as he shouts her name, then his heavy feet scampers towards her.

He'll follow her every move...
Listen to her every command...

Two years later, and he's still in complete aww of her.

The older he becomes, the more they have in common. Plus, he's not just a baby anymore to her, he's a friend. 

The morning moment doesn't last forever. Usually my son is the first to yell my name, then my daughter follows. But, as the day continues, their friendship doesn't fade. 

The magical moment, isn't just a moment anymore...

Their imagination is at the height of running freely, and wildly...

There's always someone to be rescued in Gotham City, and of course, someone has to be the Superfriends, while the other is the villains. 

Someone has to be Elsa, running through the snowy forest, while the other is Kristoff, riding his sled as he follows.

And who else will compete in the battle of the bands with the Equestrian Girls from My Little Pony if my daughter doesn't?

Also, those big wheels won't ride themselves...

This stage, 4 & 2 years old, has been marvelous. Like any parent, I am often saddened by their aging, however, I am loving each growing stage even more. It seems like each day, they indulge in a new magical adventure. A one way ticket to a far away land that only the best imaginations are allowed. 

Where best friends come to spend their days...

Playing...
Laughing..
And imagining.

Where my daughter and son have all their days to build a friendship that not only keeps them from being bored, but also, makes them happy. It makes them learn to appreciate each other, not just as family member, but as an individual.

My eternal happiness

Digging through a shoebox of unfiled photos, I stumbled upon a picture of the four of us, my husband, daughter, son, and myself... All cheesy smile and huddled cheek to cheek, desperately trying to fit into the picture at once. I held the photo at arm length, while studying the image...

I let it soak into my brain...

Because, years from now, that's the image I want to remember.

The smiles,
cuddles,
kisses,
hugs,
happiness,
joy,
quality time,
game nights,
crafting,
stories,
pretend play,
dance parties,
co host sessions,
walks,
talks,
cooking,
baking...

...Just to name a few.

I don't want to remember the tantrums, the crying, the lack of sleep and being irritably tired. The sibling fighting, the begging and pleading to listen, or the bargaining to eat food...

I want the special, everyday love to shine through and leave the chaos to settle in the deepest part of my brain. I want to relish in the now, knowing I'll always have these days to look back on -with great fondness.

So, that picture of eternal bliss will be etched into my brain. Those smiles from the ones I love the most, will be my forever, my haven, my eternal happiness. 

A daddy and his daughter

I was leaving the house for a few hours to get some Easter Bunny shopping done without my children. My husband, who rarely has the children to himself for a designated amount of time, joined in with the group hug and kisses, before I walked out the door. 

Upon arrival, I wasn't greeted with my two children sulking in despair that mommy wasn't home, in fact, I wasn't greeted at the door at all. My son was napping in his room and my daughter was sitting at the kitchen table, diligently working on crafts with my husband. Before rounding the corner, I could hear them giggling, talking conversations, and pretending to be a popular YouTube co-anchors. Both were comparing their art work to each other and deciding what they would draw or create next.

After walking within eye sight, my daughter and husband eventually acknowledged I was home. My daughter uttered the words, "I had the best time mommy."

And why wouldn't she have... She had her daddy all to herself. They were able to create fun designs, uninterrupted. Be silly, while wearing silly masks.

And send her daddy a love note...

While he sent one back...

A daddy and his daughter spending quality time, doing quality fun. 

Creating belly laughs and serving up smiling grins. 

A daddy and his daughter making memories...

I love seeing these images of the two of them shoulder to shoulder around a table filled with glitter and glue everywhere. Her daddy isn't afraid to be silly or wear whatever she makes for him. He gladly donned the tiara mask, while finishing up the crafts, even though she laughed at him. 

They are beginning to have a love that is special.

A love that will never be penetrated. 

A love as thick as the earth itself... 

A mommy always has that love, but I'm grateful to see their love flourish into an incredible relationship, because a little girl will always need her daddy... And not just any daddy, a daddy that will create time just for her.

Hitting a major milestone... Conquering fear.

The air was frigid as we stood shoulder to shoulder in front of the preschool doors, anxiously waiting for entry. My daughter paced back and forth, singing Let it Go on repeat, while my son was packed nicely, on my back, in the Ergo. The question, "when can we go inside?" looped in a constant from my daughter's tiny voice.

It was the night of her Winter Concert Program...
...And all her family was there to see her!

When the doors opened, we filed into a skinny hallway like cattle. It was complete chaos and clutter. Every parent was dropping their designated child off into their classroom upon the start of the program. 

I said my goodbyes, did our secret handshake, and said, "break a leg," which she found very humorous. She was bubbly, excited even, to partake in such an event. I was extremely proud to see this reaction and realized how far we have come since her days in early September.

We again sat, shoulder to shoulder, in the pews waiting. My son was chattering away to all the passing people and yelled his sister's name, as he was getting bored. I was too anxious to be still, as I wasn't sure how my daughter would handle standing up in front of a crowded room full of people.

My son was hanging over my shoulder, facing behind me, and I heard him yell her name again, but this time, with much passion. I looked in his direction to see all the children simultaneously proceeding down the isle.

My daughter's arm looked as if it would fall off for how much she waved it towards us.

She was like a beauty queen, waving to all the spectators in the crowd.

We watched the earlier classes perform, we all clapped and cheered as they were wonderful. My son clapped on que and said, "more" when they finished and my daughter gave them a standing ovation.

It was now her turn...

She cheerfully skipped up to the alter with her class and was placed front and center. She smiled ear to ear as she waved and yelled, "hi!" to all of us. My husband pressed play on the video camera, as I snapped about 50 shots in twenty seconds from our still camera. 

These are the many moments that parenting is made for.

The music started, she sang loudly and appropriately followed along with the hand gestures. She was all smiles, bubbly and dancing in place. Then suddenly, out of nowhere, she began to cry. This poor girl turned beet red and stood there, fighting her tears, as she continued to sing. As a parent, I wanted to run up, grab her, and wisk her away. I even stood up, attempting to get her attention. Yes, I was totally that parent. I felt the blood rush through my body, as I stood there helplessly. Then, in the matter of seconds, the nursery school teacher, who my daughter adores, knelt down off to the side, but in front of the kids, to attempt to calm her. My daughter ran off stage, hugged the teacher, regrouped, then ran back front and center, where she proceeded to finish all five songs without a hiccup -she did give the teacher a thumbs up in between each song. 

Once done, she ran off stage and into my arms, where I proceeded to tell her how proud I was of her. She said, "I did it mommy!" which such enjoyment. 

She accomplished something great.

This experience was a completely new one for me. I have finally reached that age where other people now have the opportunity to comfort my child when I am not around. As a stay at home mom and an attachment parenting style, I have never been in this position to not be the one who comforted my child on all occasions. I am always there to be that person, it just never dawned on me that during school age, she would need to do things on her own -or, that it would approach so quickly.

Reality hit hard that night...

However, that statement is really the key thing. She calmed herself down on her own. The teacher was only there to reset her, but my daughter was the one who was able to maintain her composure and finish the concert. She is the one who matured enough over these past couple months to handle her emotions without mommy cuddling her and telling her everything will be ok.

She already knows everything will be ok.

I was incredibly proud and sad at the same moment...
...Proud that she accomplished something that a few months ago, she wouldn't have been able to do, but sad, that she is growing up and maturing into a more independent individual.

Those 20 seconds of fear, was all that she needed to revert back and finish what she was so eager to do... Something that she has talked about all week.

That night, bedtime was forced, as she was too animated to sleep. She said she was so happy that she sung in the concert and I told her how happy I was to have watched her. I then picked up her long, gangly body, as I rocked her to sleep, singing some of her favorite songs...

...Because on that day, she might have hit a major milestone, but she'll always be my little girl who needs mommy at certain times in her life. And I will cuddle her to sleep, as long as she'll let me.

Time passes... People learn... People change

I awoke this morning different than usual. 

I stirred back and forth in my large bed, as my brain was awakening from a dream. My eyes opened, then the glare from the sun forced them back shut. I flopped my left arm onto the pillow next to me, as I stretched my body to full capacity. Realizing that the bed was larger than usual, I picked my head up noticing the pillow was empty. Confused, I looked around to see that my upstairs was vacant. I then propped myself up on my elbow and listened around... I heard giggles and squeals coming from the downstairs.

I smiled, before sauntering myself down the stairs to see my husband sitting in the middle of the floor, with both kids draped over him.

I could have stared at that image forever...

Breakfast was made and everyone was fed.

I realized it was almost 11:00 am and my husband had let me sleep, while taking care of the kids himself. That might not sound like a lot to anyone, but for me (or him), that was incredible.

My husband wasn't really the hands on dad that few fathers are. He's a hard worker that isn't afraid of hard labor -he'll work a 20 hour days if he had to. However, he wasn't the most comfortable being solely with the children.

*He's always present in their lives, just was more of the laid back father, who let me run the show.

With that, as time is passing and the children are growing, he's becoming better with the hands on process. He's falling more into a comfortable position and is enjoying the daily lifestyle of being dad.

He's taking more of an initiation, instead of letting the children come to him.

Now, when he walks through the door from work, his first thought is chasing my son and daughter down for lots of hugs and kisses.

He plays my daughter's other half to the duo, as they pretend to emulate a popular YouTube channel.

He plays a mean game of hide and seek with both children.

He isn't afraid to play beauty shop with my daughter and let her dress him up as a princess and get his hair done all pretty.

He fights his way through Gotham City while he and my son play Batman.

He cuddles on the couch with both children before bed, reading them some of their favorite stories.

I could watch these interactions all day, forever. There's a special connection between a father and his children. Much different than a mother and her children. This bond will be a special one that only he can achieve and continue to watch unfold. While I get to enjoy the benefits of the visual imagery.

Time is a crazy thing (I love that saying, because it's so true). Time passing can have a positive or negative impact on life. In my case, time passing has worked out wonderfully (in more than one occasion). I now get to sit back and indulge in the beauty of watching a blossoming relationship flourish in front of my eyes. Something that wouldn't have occurred, if time stood still. My husband's gradual transformation proves that we're always changing and developing, no matter how old you are. You're never too old to learn and gain from life's experiences. 

My husband is a wonderful man, but, we were just on different wavelengths when it came to parenting. 

Although, I realize my standards of parenting are a little different than the average, because I'm a total "hands on parent," who consumes my life with my children. Whatever they're doing, I'm always involved with. So my way of parenting is very different than what my husband was ever exposed to... 

...So, I'm glad he was up for the challenge and not only supports my type of attachment parenting and helicopter parenting, but also participates in it as well.

And that makes him an incredible father and loving husband.

Until tomorrow

The heavy snow is blanketing the cold, stiff ground. The skies are dark and the sounds are eerily silent. With a hot cup of tea in my hand, I watch the snowfall through my picture window from the comforts of my warm home. Not a car in sight as far as my eyes can see. Everything is peacefully calm.

I check over my shoulder a few times, waiting to hear someone call my name, but the background is soundless, as both kids were read stories, rocked, and tucked into bed.

...Now fast asleep.

I sit alone to enjoy the stillness of the night.

But not alone tomorrow...

When the sun peeks through my daughter's white lace curtains, her eyes will open quicker than the rooster can cock-a-doodle-doo.

She will race to my room and beg to go outside, even before her stomach registered that breakfast hasn't been served.

Her brother will run too, not really knowing why, but he'll join in with excitement, to do whatever his big sister is suggesting.

Our day will be filled with outdoor air, sleigh riding fun, and snowman architecture. 

...Anything their mind can imagine, will be achieved.

Then we'll warm up with a cup of hot chocolate, with lots of hugs and snuggles.

The next day, the rhythmic cycle will begin again... and I'll sit quietly, staring out my window, while watching the beauty of the outdoors unfold before my eyes.

...Until tomorrow.