"Whatever happened to predictability. The milkman, the paperboy, evening TV? You miss your old familiar friends, waiting just around the bend..." -Full House
I am a lover of all things vintage and "the good old days" of family dinners around a table, no technology to separate human contact, and a stay at home mom waiting at the doorstep when you arrived through your door. When life was as simple as playing outdoors and riding a bike without a destination in mind. Saying hi to all your neighbors and knowing the entire family generations who lived in the homes around you. When life was just about you and your loved ones, and not about what materialistic objects you can attain. When you didn't feel obligated to "keep up with the Jones."
I was incredibly lucky to have the opportunity to grow up in a neighborhood in the late 80's/early 90's that still mimicked Andy Griffith's Mayberry. We lived on the same street that my grandmother and mother were born on. My extended family still lived within a few block radius and all the neighbors were the same people my grandmother grew up with. Everyone watched out for other people's children and we ran through random backyards, played baseball, and some wicked games of hide and go seek. I remember stopping many times to help an older person unload their groceries in between my bike riding and I remember a neighbor walking me back home when I fell off my bike. Or our neighbor across the street always had popsicles in their freezer, just in case we wanted some.
These are some of the experiences my children will never have. They'll never know the freedom of not talking on the phone, but just walking or riding a bike to your friends house instead. Playing outdoors blocks away from your home until the street lights turn on. Or the always favorite, leaving your home right after breakfast and not coming back until dinner...
I couldn't imagine even letting my children leave the house without me in their teenage years, let alone my 5 year old daughter playing on the next street without me being present. Not because I'm a hovering parenting (I am that, but that isn't my point), but because it's just not the same world nowadays.
With all that said, I must say, there are some pros to growing up in this age. While my children won't have the safety freedom of roaming the outdoors and their life is bombarded with technology and everything is telling them to be an adult too soon. In return, they have a more non judgemental world to bask in. In today's world, people are more open and respectful of others in all shapes and sizes (physically, mentally, and emotionally). Something that generations back didn't have. People expected you to be what society thought you should be. Children followed the trades of their parents and every girl aspired to be a mother and a housewife. Women had a role and a place, and now, one is running for president.
This new generation is paving the way for people of all walks of life to be normalized. Mental illness isn't a closed door conversation, the word, Transgender, can be mentioned at the dinner table, and being gay, isn't something to hide -Unfortunately, I realize this is not like this everywhere, but the fact that it's being covered by major broadcast companies, TV programs, social media, and it's on your TV for the 6:00 news, is a big deal.
Also, I know when my parent's went to school (1950s), corporal punishment was an everyday thing, even at home. If the teacher hit them, their parent's would too, and the parent didn't even want to hear an explanation or the child's story. Children didn't have a place in society, except to be seen and not heard. So, I must say, I was shocked when I saw that viral post circulating about the child getting paddled in Georgia. I thought we were past that as a whole and I'm flabbergasted that this is still an issue in today's world. It amazes me that children are the only ones you can spank, but in turn, are the most emotionally affected. You can't even hit another adult without proving you were being attacked. But yet, the barbaric message of fear unfortunately still prevails in some parts.
Here's a random funny story about me attending kindergarten down south in the mid 1980s... I was being dragged down the hall by my teacher towards the principals office to be paddled because I was talking too much (that's not shocking for people who know me in real life). We were from the North, so I had a strong northern accent that they told me to stop using as well (hilarious, I know). Another parent called my parents to notify them what was happening (because obviously, they weren't going to notify them even though my parent's signed the waiver that I wasn't allowed to be paddled). While I waited on the chair for my punishment (hysterically crying), my mom busted through the door (literally), like it was out of a movie. She got in the principal's face and said if you touch my daughter, I'll show up to your house when you least expect it and beat your ass and see how you enjoy it... Needless to say, I was pulled from school that day and we moved back north where kindergarten wasn't mandatory. And I'm grateful that I didn't have that traumatic incident forever branded into my brain cells. But, I feel sorry for the children who's parents didn't go all God Father on the principal.
See, I was raised in a gentle/peaceful parenting household before it was labeled as such. My parent's always listened to my thoughts and opinions and wanted to hear my side of the story. I was told I could be anything I wanted and they supported me no matter what I did, good or bad.
Thankfully, my children now live in a world where spanking is frowned upon and schools wouldn't even dare to punish a child outside of the home. Parents are becoming more understanding and treating their children with respect. Breastfeeding openly in public is a trending topic and raising kind children to soften the world, instead of toughening children, is no longer mocked. Being a stay at home mom, isn't looked at as laziness and Attachment parenting has become normalized and a widely recognized community. Gentle/peaceful parenting now has a voice and listening and conversing with your children is being heard with open ears. And if you parent "crunchy," people just call you a hippie and they move on with their lives...
You don't have to fit into category A, B or C anymore. And you're not being bullied into squeezing yourself into category D, E, or F.
While I do love "the good old days" and yearn for a more simplistic lifestyle, I am very fond of the progress we have made as a society. I am happy that our children are growing up in a more liberal light and are allowed to freely express themselves and be who they want to be. But life is all about balance. There is always good with the bad and with that, I will never be on board to "keep up with the Jones" and live my life chasing the dollar. My children understand that happiness comes from within and nothing materialistic you buy will ever replace that happiness. In my home, we will continue to have home cooked dinners around the table, outdoor adventures, and nothing but patience, love, and understanding. I will combine both worlds, old and new, and create a wonderful haven for my children to grow up in. And years from now, when they're talking to their children about their childhood, they'll think of it as, "the good old days."
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